7 Ways To Boost Your Confidence

 

Confidence is EVERYTHING-yet so many of us struggle to feel our most confident kick-ass selves for the most part.

We often repeat the negative voices of our past we’ve come to memorise off by heart, our default destruct mode, telling ourselves we’re not good enough or have no right to reach our potential or live the lives we want.

Well it needs to stop, and it’s fully in our control to make small changes and reap the big rewards.

I’ve reflected recently and unravelled why I’ve come to feel my most confident over the years- and I’m sharing my tips below.

I must state now, I didn’t always feel this way.

I started my blog at a dark place when my confidence was rock-bottom. After a traumatic birth, I’d lost my identity, voice and purpose to some extent.

I felt directionless.

This blog helped me get back on track as did an understanding psychologist and friends and family.

I still have down days, we all do, but I’ve learnt to be kinder to myself, to know that health and happiness come first and foremost and that you should take your goals piece by piece. There’s no rush and dreams evolve as life does.

Reading back my tips, admittedly they sound pretty hippy-ish and out there- but these are what works for me and I really hope they help you too!

Now go be your best bad-ass self!

 

1. It’s All About the Affirmations

The brain is plastic as the great Baroness Margaret McDonagh told me.  It becomes brilliant at believing what you tell it. Constantly worry? Great, it will become the best worrier brain there is! Start changing the way you speak to yourself and rewire your brain. Are you always hard on yourself or keep telling yourself you can’t do something? Then, stop.

It’s hard if you were brought up with critical voices from parents or teachers but remind yourself you’re an adult now and no one can define or control the way you feel about yourself. You are free and it’s time to re-educate yourself.

The more you practise positive affirmations and speaking to yourself as if you were your own best friends, the easier it becomes to believe how brilliant and capable you are. Yes it’s tough at the start and you’ll feel rather foolish but know, in time, you will fake yourself to feeling truly confident. Repeat after me ‘I’ve got this’.

 

2. Visualise/ Ask the Universe.

I’ve unflinchingly dreamt big-ever since I was a kid. I’ve always visualised my goals be it wanting to make films or star in adverts, present on telly, write etc (tick, tick, tick and tick).

Don’t be scared to ask the universe for the things you’d like- and get your goals down on paper in black and white. This helps you to focus, gives you purpose, hones your passion and when you truly go for it, the universe has got your back and things fall into place.

 

3. Focus on Positivity

Be positive. Step away from negative people and situations in your life, surround yourself with love and those who want the best for you. Make changes to stop doing the things you dislike/change your job/ and work on spending more time doing what makes you happy. I like to write a gratitude list to help me remember all I have in my life and there I note all the positive things which bring me pleasure from buying peonies to painting with my kids.

 

4. Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway

Being scared signifies you care, that you want to go for those beautiful goals of yours and are simply protecting yourself. Pushing yourself out of your comfort zone is the only way to grow. Therein, the magic lies. Yes you might make mistakes but don’t fear that for those lessons are crucial. They teach you how to improve and make you aware of what’s worth fighting for.  Failure’s not an option.

Keep pushing and truckin’.

 

5. Work Hard

Get your head down. You want results? Work for them. Direct your energy to all the things you’re passionate about. Success isn’t about luck, you make your own by hard graft. The beauty is the harder you work, the more opportunity and experience comes your way and the more confident you feel to push yourself further until you create a domino-style success effect! Don’t forget that when you believe in yourself and exude confidence (or you feign belief), others will instantly feel confident about you and your abilities, leading to greater opportunity and success.

 

6. Trust the Timing of Your Life

Trust that things happen at the right time in your life.  You are an active player in your life but there’s often a reason you didn’t pursue the path you did or chose to change careers/cities/countries when you have. Trust things will work out and all be OK.

 

7. Help Others

Look outward, when you help others, you feel good about yourself and have the potential to make a big difference in this world. What is more confident-building and wonderful than that?

The biggest reward to me is when others tell me I’ve inspired or supported them in some way. Nothing beats the feeling of supporting others.

Try it.

Once you show the world your ‘confident face’ you can achieve anything, I promise!

So , those are my 7 tips I’d love to read yours in the comments.

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88 Responses

  1. Leadership Characteristics

    Hey Vicki,

    Great post. I agree that confidence is everything. Not only will it let you take control of your life, but it will help you become a better leader to others. Great tips.

    Hope to check out more posts soon,
    Dennis

    Reply
  2. Rebecca Cale

    Thank you for the tips. They’re all things I know deep down but I just needed to be reminded. I’m a newbie blogger and have the feelings of doubt and fear about what I’m writing, as I try to find my style. You have just reminded me to believe in myself so Thank you. Xx

    Reply
  3. Silly Mummy

    Good advice! I must work on these. Number 4 is one I really struggle with – I tend to be paralysed by fear. #brilliantblogposts

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Thanks, really important to push through it. Maybe work out what is scaring you, usually we feel that fear when we really want something x

      Reply
  4. Different Shores

    Some great tips here; what an inspiring piece. It’s great to hear the circumstances in which you started your amazing site, I think it will be motivational for many just starting out

    Reply
  5. Debbie

    Hi Vicki, fab tips as always. Being positive goes along way as does believing we can do something. I do believe that we regret the things we don’t do, some people may argue and say we regret some of the things we do do, but the reality is we don’t have to regret the things we try that don’t workout. That’s just life. We tried it anyway. But if we don’t give something ago, how will we ever know if it would work or not? Trying new things can be a great confidence booster.

    xx
    Debbie recently posted…Zola, One Determined PuppyMy Profile

    Reply
  6. Jade The Parenting Jungle

    Well timed post for me at the moment since my confidence is currently on the floor..weight, parenting, blogging you name it I am being negative. I always used to scoff at affirmations then qualified as a counsellor and realised the value of positivism and even if its just thinking to yourself one thing you did well in a day is a good step 🙂 I love your kick ass can do attitude and reading this posts gives me a kind of vicarious confidence! Helping people definitely makes me happier as does the support of my lovely blogger friends. Much love xx #brilliantblogposts

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Oh Jade so sorry you are feeling low on confidence, we all feel this way and it’s rubbish when we do. So amazing you qualified as a counsellor, nothing feels more rewarding than making a difference to others’ lives. I hope you can take your advice. Never, ever let anyone put you down and hold you back, you’re amazing. So glad you enjoyed the post xx

      Reply
  7. Amy

    Great post. I can totally relate to the effects of a trauma in your life affecting your confidence. I too had a traumatic birth and it took me a long time to begin feeling truly like myself again. I found hypnotherapy really worked in stopping the negativity I couldn’t control as a result of the trauma from creeping into my day, and totally agree with surrounding yourself with positive vibes and visualising things as you would like them to be. Big love, Amy x

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      So glad you found what worked for you, I’m so sorry again you suffered a traumatic birth, it’s so tough, lots of love x

      Reply
  8. Sarah | Digital Motherhood

    Some good tips, it is a tough thing to master. I definitely agree on being positive and feeling the fear but doing it anyway! #brillblogposts
    Sarah | Digital Motherhood recently posted…Our favourite children’s booksMy Profile

    Reply
  9. Helen Reid

    Brilliant post, I have just made massive changes in my work life. I struggled to have the confidence to dream, to think I could achieve anything new. Reading through your points I see I have already embraced a few but still have one or two to go, thank you, made me smile this morning ……Helen xxxx

    Reply
  10. John Adams

    Feel the fear and do it anyway…..absolutely crucial advice in my opinion! Not that I like to quote the late Sir James Goldsmith, but “the risk is not taking the risk”. Great post Vicki that will mean a lot to a great many people. Thanks for hosting #BrilliantBlogPosts and loving the new format.

    Reply
  11. The Pramshed

    Completely agree with you on all these points to boost confidence, I think that positivity is key. Positive people ooze confidence, they are good at getting things done as people enjoy working with them. Alongside this working hard is also key for me, without it I wouldn’t have the drive and ambition that I have. Since I started my blog when I was on maternity leave I feel that my confidence has grown, and also so much more confident now that I’m back in the office. Thanks for hosting. Claire x #BrilliantBlogPosts

    Reply
  12. Emma (@MeBeeandBo)

    I am terrible with my own self confidence and put myself down over the silliest of things. Will definitely be putting some of these tips into practice! Thanks! #BrilliantBlogPosts
    Emma (@MeBeeandBo) recently posted…20 Week Pregnancy Update – Second PregnancyMy Profile

    Reply
  13. Rach

    Loved this, resonates a lot. Number 1 is so spot on, you can train your brain to believe anything is possible and you can totally rethink your attitude. #brilliantblogposts

    Reply
  14. Sunita

    Lovely to read your post on confidence. I really like the bit about ignoring your fears! Man, they can really stop us from doing what we want and love. Trying to stay confident all of the time is impossible so it’s always nice picking up new tips. Whether it’s coaching, counselling or just some friendly support it’s important we all find our sources of confidence. But most importantly it’s about trying to generate your own confidence (however hard that can be at times but we need to keep practising).
    It must be a confidence-themed week as I wrote a post on confidence energisers. One of my top tips is to create a WOW list. So this is things you’ve achieved or people have appreciated about you (however big or small). Pop up your WOW list on your fridge, on our desk or keep it in your phone notes for quick access.I picked up this idea from my baby daughter’s nursery! Hope you like the post if you have a free mo to check it out…x Sunita #brillblogposts
    Sunita recently posted…Lucky Things Wellbeing: 7 Confidence EnergisersMy Profile

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Love that idea Sunita, going to pop to read your blog post now. Confidence is something which seems to hold so many of us back, it was what Natasha and I had felt was the biggest downfall after our talk, once people believe in themselves more, anything is possible x

      Reply
  15. Susan Mann

    What a great post and one I can relate to on pretty much everything. It’s like you can read my mind. I find it difficult to feel confident about myself. I did read miricale morning and I trying affirmations from it to help. Great post x
    #brillblogposts

    Reply
  16. The Tale of Mummyhood

    Every single one of these points is absolutely spot on. We really do need to be kinder to ourselves and work towards building up our confidence, so we can all feel how we deserve to feel. Another really great post, love it.

    #brillblogposts

    Reply
  17. Michelle Reeves (The Joy Chaser)

    Another fantabulous post from you darling (yes that’s a thing!) brimming over with wisdom and positivity which is so infectious. If only confidence was a virus we could pass it on to everyone, right? Love every one of these tips and completely agree about acknowledging the fear but pushing through it – that in itself is a massive confidence boost! Hewge hugs gorg xx

    Reply
  18. jeremy@thirstydaddy

    This is a great list. I’m constantly amazed by the confidence that my daughter shows daily. It simply never even occurs to her that she can’t do something if she sets her mind to it. Inspiring #brilliantblogposts

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      That’s so brillaint, we all need to be like her. Well done to you and your wife for helping her feel this way too.

      Reply
  19. Jenni

    I’m a true believer in positive thinking, I think if tou think negatively you somehow stop good things from happening as you are only focusing on the negative x #brilliantblogposts
    Jenni recently posted…Break The Barriers For Elderly PeopleMy Profile

    Reply
  20. Alison (MadHouseMum)

    I’m still nodding! Every point is so true, so clearly put. That’s it in a nutshell – a great post for anyone to read. I’ll go and share! Alison x Brilliantblogposts

    Reply
  21. Lou

    I loved this. The thing about blogging and bloggers (in my newbie humble opinion) is that we did not grow up wanting to be a blogger- there was no such thing and no one hand holds you through it. You have to get out there and make it happen on your own with infinite possibilities but many unknown territories. Once you are immersed in this world you feel the warm arms of support from the blogging community that spur you on to succeed further. The very type of person to start a blog has to credit herself that she has gone out there and done something that often few friends or colleague may understand or know about. For this we should be proud and gain confidence that ceilings can be smashed in which for each of us is a completely unique path. Confidence is key and we should all support each other in this which is just amazing! Thank you for this post! XX Lou at http://www.peppermintcove.com #brilliantblogposts

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Absolutely agree and love this comment Lou, we are all breaking ground and working in an innovative, dynamic and empowering way. Hats off to us all for embracing this new way of working and thriving x

      Reply
  22. Lisa

    Something so many people struggle with. And not even just woman! Men and children too!!
    Great tips!!
    Lx
    http://workingmumy.blogspot.com
    #BrillBlogBposts

    Reply
  23. A Mum Track Mind

    I wonder why so many of us suffer with a crisis of confidence when we all have the ability to be amazing and strong. I’m sure that this post will really help people who are feeling a bit down on themselves or are doubting their abilities. Imagine what a world we would live in if we all really, truly believed in ourselves – it would be a pretty awesome place to live I think. #BrillBlogPosts x
    A Mum Track Mind recently posted…Long Haul Travel – Then & NowMy Profile

    Reply
  24. Cat

    A fab post, not as hippyish as you may have thought! I’m reading a book at the minute – The four hour working week – I can’t remember the author, but he says pretty much the same thing as you have. You want something? You go out and get it! Do it now and have the confidence that you can do it. That, and a huge nudge from my brother got me to finally start blogging. Reading all these wonderful blog posts and seeing where it’s taken you pro’s has only boosted my drive 🙂
    My first go at #Brilliantblogposts *…I am good enough* 🙂 xxx

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Aw that’s so wonderful, of course you are good enough, you are GREAT. I need to read that book too, thanks for recommending, sounds awesome xx

      Reply
  25. Ursula (Mumbelievable)

    Fab post, Vicki. There’s always so much energy and positivity in your writing – I love it! I think the trust element is particularly important….in ourselves and in the timing of things. Thanks again for hosting #brilliantblogposts Xxx

    Reply
  26. Anne

    Confidence is a wonderful thing to have and I think it comes naturally when you stop worrying about what other’s think about you. Be the best you can be, surround yourself with people who don’t bring you down and you will always feel confident. I really like your last tip, there is nothing that makes you feel better than being kind to someone else. Fabulous tips!

    Reply
  27. Eb Gargano / easypeasyfoodie.com

    Fab tips, Vicki! I love them all!! I think your tip around focusing on positivity is particularly good. If you spend time with people who genuinely love you for who you are and want the best for you, you will be so much happier and more confident, than if you spend your time with people who constantly put you down or make you feel small. Sometimes it takes real guts, though, to remove yourself from negative relationships/situations. And sometimes you can’t and you just have to remind yourself that the reason that person is negative is probably because they’ve been hurt or have low confidence themselves. One of the best quotes I ever heard was ‘hurting people hurt’. Helps me get my head around why certain people are mean and helps me not take it personally 🙂 Eb x
    Eb Gargano / easypeasyfoodie.com recently posted…King Prawn Stir Fry with Buckwheat NoodlesMy Profile

    Reply
  28. Lisa - The Sequinist

    This is a great post, and JUST the kick in the pants that I needed today. Affirmations and Visualisation are so crucial to bringing an idea to life, and it is so easy to forget when you get caught up in the minutae of emails and social media and phone calls.

    Reply
  29. themotherhub

    you gave me some excellent a few weeks ago when i had just started blogging and it really helped push me on..now im experienceing some doubt this was a a great timely reminder. I can do this! #brillblogposts

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Oh glad that helped, remember doubt happens to us all but push on, don’t let it win and know you are AWESOME. You can do this, girl x

      Reply
  30. five little doves

    Love this, confidence is something that I really struggle with, always have. I think that believing in yourself is the first step, afterall if we don’t believe in ourselves, how can we expect others to? It’s just hard to find that inner confidence isn’t it? I’m definitely working on it and all of these ideas you have shared will be something that I take on board. Thank you. #brilliantblogposts

    Reply
  31. Geraldine

    I needed this! I lack a level of confidence primarily because of issues I’ve created all on my own and my own insecurities. thank you for this post #brilliantblogposts

    Reply
  32. Kate

    these tips are absolutely brilliant, thank you! I’ve got out of the habit of asking the universe for things, and I’ve noticed recently I’m being consumed by worries, so this is a really useful reminder. I really do believe all our dreams come true if we really want them to, and if we work hard and ASK! #brillblogposts

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Aw sorry you’ve felt that way Kate, we’ve all been there. It’s just about shifting thoughts and really practising positivity however hard it feels. We can absolutely make all our dreams come true xx

      Reply
  33. Fran Back With A Bump

    I’m definitely with you on being fearless and just doing it anyway. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet rather than wonder what if. Thanks for hosting #brillblogposts

    Reply
  34. Liz

    Thank you Vicki. Excellent tips and advice especially about being kinder oneself bad getting goals down in black and white. I’ve loved following you live on Facebook this week! xxx

    Reply
  35. Mess and Merlot

    Ah, no mention of a hip flask?? I’m kidding!! I don’t think these are hippyish at all, I think they’re all really effective and doable tips, thank you. I am focusing on the ‘feel the fear’ point at the moment x
    Mess and Merlot recently posted…Carry on Blogging!My Profile

    Reply
  36. Kim

    I have been focusing on improving a few key areas in my life, because I am a big believer in continually improving yourself. Confidence is one area in my life that I have been trying to better- that is having more confidence in my new role as a Mom. I loved your post and it always amazes me when I put something out into the universe how I am drawn to certain things as a result, hence reading this post. 🙂 Thanks so much, I am inspired more and more each week with #brillblogposts
    Kim recently posted…Soothing My Toddler During A Night TerrorMy Profile

    Reply
  37. the frenchie mummy

    Absolutely loving this. All these tips are so true, yet sometimes difficult to put into practice. To me, it’s also about age. I am way more confident than in my teens for example. I can’t wait to be in my old age and be a confident and wise woman 😏#brillblogposts

    Reply
  38. jodie filogomo

    I think you hit the nail on the head with these thoughts!!
    It’s true we tend to be so critical of ourselves, but….it’s time to change!!
    jodie
    http://www.jtouchofstyle.com

    Reply
  39. Hayley - Downs Side Up

    ‘Feel the fear and do it anyway’, so very true. Fear and nerves can be so limiting, but you are right, they are a way of us knowing that what we are doing is worth doing, that it’s making a difference. Thank you for always giving me a boost Vicki, and for letting us know that although you are confident and successful now, that there have been difficult patches in your life to work through.
    Hayley – Downs Side Up recently posted…5 Tips for Encouraging Confident Walkers – A Moccis Giveaway!My Profile

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Thank you lovely, so true, let the passion drive you as it does and know fear is natural and normal, just never let it stop you x

      Reply
  40. Mel

    Love, love, love these posts full of energy, ‘go get them’ sort of attitude! It’s all about believing in yourself and visualising the ‘successful you.’ Must pin now so I can come back to it when I feel I am achieving half of what I want to achieve. Love the new look of your site. Sleek! x

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Thanks so much Mel, so glad you like it. Everything and anything is possible when you believe in yourself. You are amazing. So happy you like the new look site too x

      Reply
  41. Angela Milnes

    I really enjoyed reading this. Confidence is something I’m working on and affirmations really do help. Also helping and supporting others is a great thing to do too! Totally Agree! Angela x
    Angela Milnes recently posted…Little Passports Review and GiveawayMy Profile

    Reply

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