Confidence is EVERYTHING-yet so many of us struggle to feel our most confident kick-ass selves for the most part.
We often repeat the negative voices of our past we’ve come to memorise off by heart, our default destruct mode, telling ourselves we’re not good enough or have no right to reach our potential or live the lives we want.
Well it needs to stop, and it’s fully in our control to make small changes and reap the big rewards.
I’ve reflected recently and unravelled why I’ve come to feel my most confident over the years- and I’m sharing my tips below.
I must state now, I didn’t always feel this way.
I started my blog at a dark place when my confidence was rock-bottom. After a traumatic birth, I’d lost my identity, voice and purpose to some extent.
I felt directionless.
This blog helped me get back on track as did an understanding psychologist and friends and family.
I still have down days, we all do, but I’ve learnt to be kinder to myself, to know that health and happiness come first and foremost and that you should take your goals piece by piece. There’s no rush and dreams evolve as life does.
Reading back my tips, admittedly they sound pretty hippy-ish and out there- but these are what works for me and I really hope they help you too!
Now go be your best bad-ass self!
1. It’s All About the Affirmations
The brain is plastic as the great Baroness Margaret McDonagh told me. It becomes brilliant at believing what you tell it. Constantly worry? Great, it will become the best worrier brain there is! Start changing the way you speak to yourself and rewire your brain. Are you always hard on yourself or keep telling yourself you can’t do something? Then, stop.
It’s hard if you were brought up with critical voices from parents or teachers but remind yourself you’re an adult now and no one can define or control the way you feel about yourself. You are free and it’s time to re-educate yourself.
The more you practise positive affirmations and speaking to yourself as if you were your own best friends, the easier it becomes to believe how brilliant and capable you are. Yes it’s tough at the start and you’ll feel rather foolish but know, in time, you will fake yourself to feeling truly confident. Repeat after me ‘I’ve got this’.
2. Visualise/ Ask the Universe.
I’ve unflinchingly dreamt big-ever since I was a kid. I’ve always visualised my goals be it wanting to make films or star in adverts, present on telly, write etc (tick, tick, tick and tick).
Don’t be scared to ask the universe for the things you’d like- and get your goals down on paper in black and white. This helps you to focus, gives you purpose, hones your passion and when you truly go for it, the universe has got your back and things fall into place.
3. Focus on Positivity
Be positive. Step away from negative people and situations in your life, surround yourself with love and those who want the best for you. Make changes to stop doing the things you dislike/change your job/ and work on spending more time doing what makes you happy. I like to write a gratitude list to help me remember all I have in my life and there I note all the positive things which bring me pleasure from buying peonies to painting with my kids.
4. Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway
Being scared signifies you care, that you want to go for those beautiful goals of yours and are simply protecting yourself. Pushing yourself out of your comfort zone is the only way to grow. Therein, the magic lies. Yes you might make mistakes but don’t fear that for those lessons are crucial. They teach you how to improve and make you aware of what’s worth fighting for. Failure’s not an option.
Keep pushing and truckin’.
5. Work Hard
Get your head down. You want results? Work for them. Direct your energy to all the things you’re passionate about. Success isn’t about luck, you make your own by hard graft. The beauty is the harder you work, the more opportunity and experience comes your way and the more confident you feel to push yourself further until you create a domino-style success effect! Don’t forget that when you believe in yourself and exude confidence (or you feign belief), others will instantly feel confident about you and your abilities, leading to greater opportunity and success.
6. Trust the Timing of Your Life
Trust that things happen at the right time in your life. You are an active player in your life but there’s often a reason you didn’t pursue the path you did or chose to change careers/cities/countries when you have. Trust things will work out and all be OK.
7. Help Others
Look outward, when you help others, you feel good about yourself and have the potential to make a big difference in this world. What is more confident-building and wonderful than that?
The biggest reward to me is when others tell me I’ve inspired or supported them in some way. Nothing beats the feeling of supporting others.
Once you show the world your ‘confident face’ you can achieve anything, I promise!
So , those are my 7 tips I’d love to read yours in the comments.