The Lost Summer Files: Our Golden Girl Florence at Golden Hour

The Lost Summer Files: Our Golden Girl Florence at Golden Hour.

My husband Peter takes exquisite photos. Someone once remarked that you can feel his love for his subject imbued in the images he takes and I couldn’t agree more.

Last night he shared with me that he’d forgotten all about the photos you see here he’d taken of our youngest child, two year old Florence, as she played in my parents’ garden at golden hour, just before we moved into our new house half an hour away.

I love that she’s playing football in sparkly princess shoes! A protege to my football-obsessed middle son Alexander (who was recently scouted by Leeds United), she has great skill but also passion for the game, something you can’t teach! Go Flo!

Capturing the final hurrah of summer with the late evening sun circling Florence’s face and dancing in her path as she played football and raced across the grass, I want to print, frame and hang all of these photos in our new house!

These stills might just be my new favourite photos of my sweet toddler providing me a chance to reflect on the departure of one season and the advent of the next.

Soon November will be upon us and Florence’s third birthday will be here and five days later, my 44th.

I little sad about the fact it’s taken me pretty much this long to feel fully myself again postpartum but the shock of a difficult birth experience and a sleep-stealing baby turned toddler has meant needing to make peace with the fact that having babies is hard for me, and most, at that, and that practising self-compassion through the maternal load and changes experienced in motherhood and constantly evolving- is what’s important.

Now being able to enjoy the here and now as a well-slept, mentally strong and utterly grateful mama is a gift I will never take for granted.

I’m indebted to my husband; therapist, an understanding GP and supportive friends and family.

Ditto to my work, to being able to write and film and keep my mind busy and stimulated, especially on the more challenging days when I need to simply create the most.

I read a sign once which read, ‘Art will save us’ and in many ways, it’s saved many parts of me be it drawing in an art pad or making a 5 second Reel on Instagram.

What a whirlwind having three kids is. The juggle, the pulling back and forth, the dividing yourself and the all-consuming love.

Parenting is bittersweet, the more you love, the more that is at stake. I feel part of the way I mother is to worry, I know others feel the same. That sense of dread that can spill into every day life, that fear for your kids’ safety and wanting to protect them. Everything that makes me a caring parent, also impacts my mental health. I’ll learning how to handle worrying intrusive thoughts from deep breathing exercises, yoga and channelling anxiety into exercise and art.

Florence is ball of strength, warmth and frightning intelligence.

She’s teaching me as much, if not more than what I teach her. Her brothers adore her and she calls them her best friends. I’m so proud of the little family my husband, Peter and I, have built. I still remember meeting his during our uni days and him saying if I wanted 5 kids, he’d be game. We’ve not quite had five but my dream of 3 has materialised and we couldn’t feel happier.

Thank you Florence for always bringing the sunshine, letting us bask in your light.

.Thank you, thank you, thank you, we love you!