Making Time for Yourself as a Parent: Why It Matters and How to Do It

Parenting is a full-time job, no breaks allowed, well, very few at least, and as if this doesn’t seem like enough hustle, it comes with another big challenge: parenting requires mom and dad to feel strong and capable enough to cope with the demands of the job! 

Just like on a plane, the first thing you are commanded to do in an emergency is to put on your own oxygen mask and then your children’s.

Something similar needs to happen in life where you must try to achieve the balance of caring for your kids and also yourself. Easy said than done, I know!

On top of all this, most parents have to carry another heavy burden: guilt. The good news is that prioritizing yourself isn’t selfish though, it’s necessary. In fact, taking care of yourself will make parenting easier.

Self-Care Does Matter

Let’s get real: self-care isn’t just about bubble baths and spa days like on Instagram or Pinterest (though those are great, too!). It’s more about simple things like eating well, sleeping enough, and not being stressed out 24/7 so you can show up as the best version of yourself.

Moms and dads should also work on their mental health, if anything is off or you’re not feeling so well, please reach out to family and friends and do consider therapy as this has been a game-changer for me. 

Say Goodbye to Guilt

When you take care of yourself, you’re in a better place to take care of the kids. You’re also setting an important example when you make some time for self-care. Without even noticing it, you’re also teaching your kids to do the same.

Guilt is normal, but acknowledging you deserve to rest and relax is important, too. 

Practical Ways to Find Time for Yourself

1. Make Use of Small Windows of Time

Here are some ways how you can enjoy your time to the maximum:

• Listening to something you stimulating and fun, like a podcast, while doing repetitive chores
• Enjoying a quiet cup of coffee before everyone wakes up
• Take a 10-minute walk around the block or any short spurts of time to exercise
• Use your showers as a stress-free space if possible. Take deep breaths and use fragrances and skincare products you love which invigorate you
• Have at least one moment a week where you do nothing at all or something only for your pleasure like watching Netflix!

Small moments add up and can make a huge difference to your wellbeing.

2. Schedule Your Time Like an Appointment

You wouldn’t cancel a doctor’s appointment for no reason so apply the same when it comes to your free time. Treat yourself like the important person you are, and stick to your calendar. Whether it’s a solo lunch break, a workout session, or doing a hobby you love, schedule it in advance and don’t let yourself down.

3. Get Your Partner (or Support System) Involved

This is probably the most important advice: you are not alone! If you have a partner, communicate your need for alone time and encourage them to do the same.

You can trade off solo time—one night, you take a break while they handle bedtime, and vice versa. If you’re a single parent, you shouldn’t be afraid to lean on family, friends, or even external help like nannies if you are able to.

4. Set Boundaries (Yes, Even with Your Kids)

It’s okay to say no. If your kids are old enough, explain that you need some time to yourself and set clear expectations. For younger children, use nap times, playdates, or even educational screen time to create short breaks for yourself.

5. Embrace Technology (Wisely!)

There’s no shame in using technology to give yourself a break. Educational apps, audiobooks, and kid-friendly streaming services can be lifesavers when you need a few moments to yourself. Just be mindful of screen time limits!

Using Tools to Protect Your Time and Data

Protecting your time and personal information is vital when it comes to your own free time and your kids’. With so much of our lives online, safeguarding your data can help reduce stress and keep you and your family safe.

1. Set Digital Boundaries

Just as you set personal boundaries, create digital ones too. Consider:

• Setting time limits on social media to prevent endless scrolling;
• Using parental controls to manage your child’s screen time;
• Turning off unnecessary notifications to reduce distractions;
• Using a VPN for better privacy and security.

2. Automate Tasks to Free Up Time

Technology can also work for you! Use:

• Grocery delivery services;
• Meal planning apps;
• Smart home devices for routine tasks.

The less time you spend on chores, the more time you’ll have for yourself.

Making the Most of Your Me Time

Once you’ve carved out time for yourself, make it count. Instead of using it to scroll through emails or worry about your to-do list, focus on activities that genuinely bring you joy and relaxation. Need ideas? Try:

• Practicing mindfulness or meditation;
• Exercising (even a quick yoga session helps!);
• Engaging in a creative hobby like painting or writing;
• Catching up with a friend over coffee.

Remember, self-care looks different for everyone. The key is to do something that recharges you.

Conclusion

Feeling guilty is completely normal, but that doesn’t mean you have to embrace it or make it your default. Taking time for yourself isn’t just okay, it’s essential.

Too much guilt will be counterproductive, draining you and your kids. Children are susceptible to their parents’ feelings, and guilt is no exception.

Book that babysitter and get your hair done, or if you’re feeling bold—treat yourself to a weekend away with friends to recharge. You deserve some time alone like anybody else. Your kids will love to see their parents rested and happy on your return.