We’ve all been there right, told those little white lies or chucked those flipping loud toys, to well simply SURVIVE this crazy thing called parenthood!
I love my kids, I really do but loom bands. loom bands I hate, especially littered in technicolour pieces all over our lounge, swirling in the bath (really) and spinning round my washing machine.
So I binned them.
I took a deep breath and bid them goodbye. Each and every rubbery loop.
No one’s even noticed they’ve gone. After the craze that meant I was forced to create a bracelet, ring and mini sword for my eldest son, he’s not actually bothered anymore. Disclaimer: the mini sword might have just looked like a bracelet I swayed.
It got me thinking..I really need to get some more parental confessions off my chest…
The ice cream van that turns up around 7.30 every evening, chiming it’s merry little song like the Piped Piper of the night, right outside my house, I ignore it, close the windows and when that fails I I tell my kids come Saturday, we’ll buy an ice cream (because he doesn’t come on weekends).
Don’t feel too bad for the blighters though, they enjoy ice lollies all through the week, I just hate getting them sugared up right before bed. My kids don’t sleep at the best of times without a 99 flake hyping them pre-sleep thank you very much.
…The ‘surround sound’ style helicopter toy without removable batteries (why?) that one night made me dart out of bed thinking a police helicopter had surrounded the house, well, that might just have made it’s loud ass way to the charity shop along with noisy books, beeping cars and a teddy bear that cried. Give. Me. Strength.
The snails my youngest child above, Alexander, was rehoming in the playroom, at night, were set free by moi…(soz Alexander, it was for the best…they’d never have survived indoors with all those loud toys and loom bands lying around the place (wait a minute)…
…And finally, telling my kids if they stop fighting and start sharing, we’ll get a dog (we won’t).
Maybe the snails can live with us after all…
So ‘fess you, what do you do and say to your kids to stay sane?