Feeling Confident Over 40

Feeling Confident Over 40

Do you ever wish you could be as confident as your younger self? A friend recently told me that she remembers me as always being confident, even at 10 years old! I am on a mission to regain confidence lost after having my third baby at 40 and I want to inspire you all to feel more confident too.

While we can’t rewind the clock, there are plenty of steps we can collectively take to reawaken every age that exists within us!

Read on to find out more!

Figure out what is causing your confidence to plummet. The first step towards rebuilding your confidence is to figure out what might have caused it to plummet in the first place. Otherwise, you’ll find it hard to make any lasting changes to your self-esteem. For example, it could be that you’re unable to stop comparing yourself to others, which leaves you feeling as though you’re constantly falling short (and should consider reducing time on social media and finding a nourishing hobby instead such as painting or pottery to nourish yourself more) or that your hormones might feel unbalanced, perimenopause might be starting (if so, see your GP). Perhaps you have lingering trauma you want to work through. Seeing a therapist over the years has transformed my mental health. 

Get support for what is troubling you. There are many different factors that could be influencing your confidence, but fortunately, there are just as many solutions or support systems in place, too. For example, if you’re dealing with fine lines on your face as I was (hello Botox), or varicose veins on your legs and thighs that are not only painful but can also negatively impact how you view yourself, then you could look into clinical treatments. You don’t need to suffer if changes are affecting you. I hate it when my grey hairs come through as greying hair doesn’t suit me, yet it looks gorgeous on others. The way you feel about ageing is personal to you. Society’s beauty standards should not affect how you feel. I don’t mind a little weight gain for example personally but have friends who profoundly worry over this. 

Add exercise to your routine. Exercising is another great way to ensure confidence at any age. This is because it can help change your relationship with your body for the better by showing you have capable and strong you are, and it can also improve your mental health. Try and build exercise into your weekly routine and walk more. I try to walk as much as possible so if I can’t make the gym, at least I’ve moved my body most days. Remember small amounts of exercise are better than nothing at all! 

Set yourself weekly challenges. Confidence is often built outside of your comfort zone. For this reason, setting yourself weekly challenges is a super way to rebuild your self-esteem, as it shows that you can do whatever you set your mind to. These challenges do not necessarily need to be all that taxing either, they can be as simple as putting yourself forward to lead a project at work, or trying out a new exercise class at the gym. I want to restart regular yoga sessions which improve my posture, and importantly my emotional wellbeing. Remember, small steps cover long distances over time!

Surround yourself with the right people. If your confidence is negatively impacted by those around you, such as a so-called friend who is always belittling for example, it’s time to take a step back and decide whether you want to keep investing time and energy into this friendship. Consider discussing your feelings but if things don’t change, it might be best to walk away.  Otherwise, they will only continue to chip away at your confidence as time goes on, making it harder to work on rebuilding it. 

Conversely, when you surround yourself with the right people, you’ll find that your confidence grows leaps and bounds every time you hang out together. Friends should feel like sunshine!

Final thoughts. Believe it or not, your confidence doesn’t have to dissipate after 40. This is the prime of life after all! Older, wiser and totally fabulous!