Being a new mum is oh so rewarding but it can be challenging too-the recovery from birth, the sleepless nights, the constant stream of advice from everyone and their Nan…the need to feel yourself again… I’ve written a letter to myself now I’m a second time mum to 9 week old son, Alexander reflecting on what I’ve learnt from my first, now nearly 3 year old Oliver.

Vicki-Honest Mum

Dear Me,

Yes, motherhood can be as tough as it is amazing but always listen to your gut. Go with your instincts and do what’s right for you, not anyone else. You are an individual as is your child. Be it bedtime routines or how to clean your child’s bottom, ultimately you know what’s right and every child is different. I always felt I had to do exactly what was advised of me by my midwife and health visitor but not everything advised is necessarily right for your baby*. Say yes please to any help and then some.

As they say, “1 baby is 1, 2 is like having 21”. This time, rest when the baby rests and don’t feel guilty when you need ‘you time’, it makes you a better mum. With your first, you were far away from family, now you’re not, so enjoy every minute of it, accept the support and keep up with your writing commitments, it stimulates you and offers you a way to work around your children.

Don’t forget you’re not just a mum, you’re a lecturer, a director, a writer, a good friend and wife. Go out with your mates for girly nights, stay in a hotel with your husband for a weekend break, call your Grandma in Cyprus more and walk around that gallery alone for an hour when you can, to feel invigorated and refreshed and simply you again when it all gets too much.

Love me


* Based on groundbreaking new (independent) evidence, mums can now confidently make a choice when it comes to cleansing their newborn baby, right from the very first day.  The trial found JOHNSON’S® Baby Extra Sensitive Wipes and Top-To-Toe® Bath to be just as safe as using cotton wool and water or just water to cleanse delicate newborn skin.  Keeping baby’s skin clean and hydrated is important for their general wellbeing and happiness. Mums-to-be and new mums are currently advised by the majority of midwives and health visitors to use simply water alone when cleansing their newborns. Yet for many mums, instinct and the desire for both convenience and effective cleansing, leaves them facing a tough choice that can be at odds with this professional advice.

Check out this video for more info:

The research was conducted by the University of Manchester and is endorsed by family health expert and mum of two young children, Dr Ellie Cannon says: “I know from experience there isn’t a mum out there that doesn’t worry about every action they take when it comes to their babies. There are plenty of occasions when there’s a mental tug of war over whether to follow professional advice or to trust your instincts and make a decision that just feels right for you, regardless of professional opinion. The findings of this clinical trial now give new mums one less decision to worry about, and actually provide them with reassurance and confidence to make an informed choice that’s safe for their baby – fantastic!”

I have been asked to work with JOHNSON’S® Baby to write a “note to self” to coincide with their Mums Know Best campaign which aims to empower new mums and women in the last stage of pregnancy to trust their instincts and have confidence in their own convictions, supported by the groundbreaking new independent evidence proving that JOHNSON’S® Baby Extra Sensitive Wipes & Top-To-Toe® Bath are as safe to use as water alone on newborn skin. They have paid me to write this post.

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8 Responses

  1. SAHMlovingit

    You’re so right about going with your instincts. I can’t believe how much more confident and relaxed I am second time around and how I completely trust my instincts. Such a great letter x

    • honestmum

      @SAHMlovingit Thanks. I agree, you trust yourself more second time round don’t you and are more confident about raising your child x

  2. Babes about Town

    Brilliant letter, love the part about ‘don’t forget’ who you are beyond being a mum. So important and can really be hard to remember when you’re sucked into the baby haze.

    And hadn’t heard that quote about 2 babies being 21. Sounds about right! lol x

    • honestmum

      @Babesabouttown-heard quote said by Kris Kardashian (*embarrassed face) but is true! So important to remember who we are isn’t it x

  3. Mirka Moore @Kahanka

    You are so right about this. I have exactly the same experience the second time round, and wish I was more confident the first time round as can see how my relaxed behaviour is greatly reflecting on olivia. Sounds like we are soulmates ;)))


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