Honest Mum

I’m a blogger. My life is my blog, and in many respects, my blog is my life.

It’s hard to distinguish between the two at times as they’re so indelibly linked.

I love what I do and I feel grateful that I live in a time where technology allows me to create, write and make moving images for a living.

My job is public-facing (the internet has power, people) with posts and campaigns I’m part of, reaching millions every month.

I flicked onto the Telegraph website on the weekend to read an opinion piece, and a campaign I’m part of and my face, flashed up as an ad at the bottom of it.

I’ll give you some more context as realise not everyone knows what professional blogging entails.

My reach last month, counting viral posts and campaigns I was part of with media coverage, reached over 30 million. That’s a heck of a lot people. Facebook Lives I shoot often reach 150k in five minutes (thanks FB for organically promoting me) and a lot of what I do, particularly high-profile campaigns are covered in the media: magazines and online content as well as speaking engagements (I spoke about my career at the Marie Claire Future Shapers event the other week)..I understand that my work is visible, that I’m the face of my personal brand and that I’m someone others relate to.

I want to do good and spread positivity with that influence.

I’ll be 100% honest here and state that feels nuts when people stop me on the street to say they read my blog or follow me on twitter, but I’m getting used it to, as are my family-we were even recognised in Portugal (it’s lovely meeting readers and it’s only ever been positive, so far) and some days might see me being stopped multiple times (my friends find this hilarious by the way and have nicknamed me Mariah)!

I don’t consider myself famous.

I’m not.

I’m a blogger who has written an online platform for almost 7 years which I’m told has become one of the biggest blogs, worldwide. Google loves me (thankfully). And a lot of you guys do too apparently. Thank you, truly (blows kissing emoji)!

Anyway, I never think of any of that when I write, it would freak me out, if I did and probably have me second-guessing every word. I write like one person is reading, my Mum. My first and most loyal reader.

Plus, my mission is the same now, as it’s always been. To process my life through the written word, to share the tough parts along with the good so others don’t have to feel as alone as I once did, as a broken new mother, struggling without social media for support.

I cannot forget that treacherous time. I felt it again last summer dealing with the illness of a close relative, that dark cloud submerging me, seeping into my daily life and eroding my happiness. It lasted for 3 weeks rather than the post-natal 10 months this time and seeing a therapist made for a speedy recovery.

The darkness has made me adamant to spread light. I want to help anyone experiencing self-doubt, anxiety and trauma too. I want to use this blog for good.

I want to support and encourage others to feel more confident (and help myself in the process when I’m lacking it). I promote healthy body image, the importance of self-care and I love to share what I know, my business acumen and what has worked for me in the digital space so others can create flexible careers for themselves. I am touched by all the emails from others saying my blog has inspired them to change careers and make blogging and vlogging their business. Many bring me to tears.

My book #Mumboss will be a guide to surviving and thriving at work and at home and is out in March 2018 (published by Piatkus).

Whenever I doubt myself or feel overwhelmed, and frankly, not enough, I return to my mission statement, my purpose: to support other women (and men). It’s always been there. I was a teacher and university lecturer in between my filmmaking career prior to blogging full time, and I find nurturing and supporting others the most rewarding aspect of any of my work to date.

My Mum, a former uni lecturer herself, likes to tell me, I’m a born leader. I hope so. I hope more women feel they can step up and lead by example. My role models are the women in my own life who do just that, good friends Jessica Huie MBE and Natasha Courtenay-Smith are just two women who endlessly inspire me, and of course my heroes Shonda Rhymes, Sheryl Sandberg, Oprah, Tina Fey and Marie Forleo who trail-blaze fearlessly every day. I also love the much-needed voice of my pal, the writer and model Lottie Geraghty of The Lucky Leo who recently wrote about her relationship with social media: ‘High on Likes‘. Social media can be a means for destruction and tear down as much as it can build up.

We need and crave role models (I rarely saw any who looked like me in the media growing up), we need women who are forging ahead, breaking ground and smashing glass ceilings, to show us we can too.

We need to learn from, and be guided by, them.

There is such positivity at our fingertips, (literally) but with that accessibility thanks to the democracy of the internet, of course, comes negativity. The yin with the yang.

On or offline, there will always be darkness, and that’s the thing about being public-facing (writing and sharing anything with the outside world and not some safe vacuum where no one interacts with you), you’re left vulnerable and susceptible to targeting, trolling and opinions that might well hurt you.

Whilst I feel more prepared for negativity when it comes to YouTube or featuring in the Daily Mail, both cat nip for the trolls it seems, harsh words can feel like they’ve come out of nowhere on my FB page or Twitter. There, negative commentary in what feels like ‘safe spaces’ to me, can feel more cutting, somehow. They’re more unexpected and take me unawares (perhaps that’s naive of me but it’s how it feels).

I’m a pretty strong girl with a loving husband, folks and kids…I have great friends, many I’ve known all of my life and I’m a grounded and grateful individual, that’s how I roll..Yes as a blogger and vlogger, a certain amount of ego is required to do either, a confidence and will to perform if you like. I was the kid aged four doing Margaret Thatcher impressions at parties. I was desperate to go to Drama School as a teen but my parents steered me away and packed me off to uni. I don’t regret it at all (Goldsmiths, University of London was the making of me) and the jazz hands within escaped through directing actors on set and now feel free in my work as a blogger and vlogger. I’m not acting though, I’m myself in my own real life digital narrative.

Reflecting on my filmmaking career, as one of only 7% of female directors, it took steely determination and great strength to thrive in that industry. It also does today, in the digital field.

That doesn’t mean I’m not sensitive. That’s the immovable characteristic to being creative. Of feeling. Of being ‘an empath’, a vessel for communication and an artist. Sounds grandiose yet it’s simply factual.

Practising confidence definitely harnesses confidence. That much I know. Most days, I feel able and strong. Some though, less so.

There have been many dark days over the last two years mostly due to my sick relative who has been in and out of hospital. That deep trauma has felt like dim muzak being played like a film score behind everything we do as a family. It’s felt paralysing sad at times. It so often shields the light on the good times, and exacerbates the bad.

To see someone you love, unwell, is the worst thing I’ve ever experienced and this is the second time I’m witnessing and living through it, once aged 13, and now at 36.

When you’re in the midst of sorrow, everything can feel heightened and far more severe.

That includes trolling.

I can count the number of trolls (bar the Daily Mail) I’ve experienced on one hand, and in 6 1/2 years of blogging I realise I’m ‘lucky’ on that front.

I’ve been told my kids are ugly, my arms are horrible (soon after my son was born), and most recently that I look fat in the dress above.

Comments, some like the latter, might have been well intended as that person went on to say (!)-being cruel to be kind although I’ve never get behind that sentiment-whilst others were simply shared to rile and hurt. To stop me in my tracks.

Yes, I’ve had jealous bile written about me by a few fellow bloggers, some I thought were my friends at one time too, which hurt at first, but were quickly overcome because they were based on untruths.

The same goes for these random comments. They sting at first, but with time you find yourself becoming more immune to them.

It makes me sad to acknowledge that those daggers thrown, end up creating armour to protect you from more.

Talking about them and your feelings is vital. To cry and process in order to rebuild.

The fat comment didn’t hurt me hugely, it baffled me more than anything because whilst I have a mumtum 4 years on, and wish my arms were slimmer (always have) I feel OK about my body. I respect it. It gave life to my children. My world. The bardot dress you see here is a UK size 6 too, hardly big by any means (I’m usually a 10), and the reason for sharing it in the first place was to highlight the inconsistency of sizing at the store. In a small haul there, I’d bought a size 6, 8 and 12 in one shop-different styles, different sizes.

That lady’s comment on FB was unnecessary and unkind whatever her intention. There are more considerate ways to tell someone they don’t think a dress is flattering. In fact, we have a duty to think before we write and should always refrain from derogative terms like ‘fat’ in the first place.

I love the frock regardless and won’t not wear it because someone disproves.

Topshop themselves even asked to share it on Instagram.

The thing that got me though was if I’d read that comment whilst struggling with a traumatic birth, or in my more impressionable teens, I wouldn’t have taken it so well. It would have devastated me. What if I had body dysmorphia or an eating disorder? I’ve had a tumultuous relationship with food and my body to varying degrees over the years, this could have started that negative cycle once more…

We are all sharing in a public world, bloggers or not and these editorial opinions will not stop.

I welcome debate, yes, but b**chiness, no.

There’s a difference.

In the face of negativity, the key is to remind yourself of who you are, what you think yourself (question your own opinion and what you thought before you received this comment) and your own moral compass, cementing yourself in your own truth and integrity.

Surround yourself with those you trust who can be honest with you but have your best interests at heart.

I’m careful about my inner circle. Never more so, truth be told.

I’m the girl who wants to be everyone’s best friend and whilst I’ll always be open to others, I’ve learnt a lot of hard lessons since becoming a blogger and a 30 something for that matter. Not everyone wants the best for you, troll or not.

Either way, we mustn’t let that stop us. Negativity will not win. I’m testament to that.

I’m still me and whether the ENTIRE world likes it or not, I like myself.

There’s something we don’t witness enough in the (social) media world and need far more of. Self-worth and love.

I hope you feel it and will spread it, too.

 

 

 

Buy my bestselling book in paperback or audio

Mumboss: The Honest Mum's Guide to Surviving and Thriving at Work and at Home

Available on Amazon or Audible

MUMBOSS by Vicki Psarias

Like what you've read? Then why not follow Vicki on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Pinterest and Instagram

Never Miss A Post!

Subscribe to HonestMum for my weekly email newsletter where I share my new blog posts, blogging tips, event invitations, competitions and news about my new book. I never share your personal data with third parties.


88 Responses

  1. Shelbee on the Edge

    Vicki, although I have been blogging for less than 2 years, I just cannot wrap my head around people’s need/desire/compulsion to deliver negative comments and hurl insults in the direction of other people, especially people they don’t even know. These actions are so pointless and plain ridiculous and they benefit no one, not even the person doing it. When a person tosses out a completely unwarranted insult, does it really make them feel better? I don’t think so. I think they are already so filled with their own darkness and they can’t figure out how to pull themselves out of it. I guess that’s where we come in….the women who make it our goal to spread light and love and kindness. We are the women who want to empower others simply because it is the right thing to do. I, personally, have a daily goal to deliver at least one sincere, genuine, heartfelt compliment to a stranger…every single day. And as long as I leave my house, I succeed at this. It is my mission to keep kindness alive in this dark and cruel world. And I love that there are like minded women doing the same! In fact, I have declared Tuesdays #SpreadTheKindness Day and I write a blog post with a link up which focuses purely on just that…spreading kindness. Kindness with no expectation of reciprocation, just pure unsolicited, heartfelt kindness. You rock and you have just gained a new loyal follower in me.

    Shelbee
    http://www.shelbeeontheedge.com

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      I absolutely love this Shelbee and years ago wrote about doing the same thing https://honestmum.com/compliments-strangers-little-kindness-goes-long-way/ and it’s something I practice daily-I complimented someone the other day in the street on her outfit. It feel so good to spread the love. You are a beautiful person, inside and out. I think people just say whatever comes to them when they’re behind a computer, some are filled with malice, others simply do not think before they speak/tweet xx

      Reply
  2. Jo @ Jo's Kitchen Larder

    I have been blogging only for a few months and my very first comment on my blog was from somebody suggesting I did something about my dull skin complexion. At the time I found it bizarre and actually quite funny but I can totally see how somebody can be really negatively affected by this completely unnecessary trollish comment. Being a total introvert starting my blog was my way of proving I can do this and put myself out of my comfort zone sharing my love of cooking in the process. Exactly as you pointed out, my blog is my safe place, my creative place I chose to share with others and I must say most of the people/other bloggers I interact with are such wonderful individuals offering lots of encouragement and that’s what’s great about it. You look gorgeous in this dress Vicki and you are extremely inspiring woman and this post proves just that! Keep up the good work! xx

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Thanks lovely and I’m sorry you received such a silly, untrue and hurtful comment. I’m so glad you’ve mostly encountered positivity, there is so much good out there and the minority of bad won’t stop me. Thanks for your kind words xx

      Reply
  3. MomOfTwoLittleGirls

    Social media and it’s visibility is very scary sometimes. I try to keep my girl’s faces off my blog, but I’m guessing it’s only a matter of time between my blog & my facebook profile linking up.
    #brillblogposts

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Thanks lovely, most of the people I’ve encountered are good but I can understand why you wouldn’t want to share your kids’ faces too. You must do what feels right x

      Reply
  4. Chloe

    Hi, thank you for sharing this honest post. I love the dress and think you look great in it. I think its sad that trolls feel the need to comment about it. Keep up the good work #brilliantblogposts
    Chloe recently posted…Review of Rice Dream Rice MilkMy Profile

    Reply
  5. Tooting Mama

    You look fabulous in that dress.

    I know you don’t let trolls get you down, but those horrible comments hurt. Some people have nothing better to do than spreading their vile jealousy from behind their laptops, tablets and phones. What cowards.

    You are amazing and awesome!
    Tooting Mama recently posted…Game. Set. Match. Roland Garros Kids’ Day in picturesMy Profile

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Thanks darling, I’ll never understand those who can’t be kind. People need to think before they tweet/speak x

      Reply
  6. Rebecca

    Oh my gosh! You look FABULOUS in that dress, your children are honestly ADORABLE and I hope the person who goes around attempting to shame Mothers bodies after they have just given birth gets their bad karma as that is absolutely abhorrent! You are so strong and luckily I have not had any negativity as of yet but its early days… I hope I can deal with it as well as you! <3

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Thank you Rebecca, some people can be so cruel. To target children and new mothers is just horrendous. You guys and all the good people out there keep me strong xxx

      Reply
  7. Finn

    Great post and great picture. However strong and confident you are, words can and do hurt and can cause really deep and lasting effects if they are repeated by somone close to you. Lots of online nastiness is just jealousy. These people won’t put in the hours and hours of hard work that you do, but they want the results. Use them to spur you on (which I’m sure you already do) and know that the best response is to be even more successful. They hate that. #Brilliantblogposts

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Thank you Finn, I will never comprehend such nastiness and jealousy. Everything I know, I share to help others and I’ll always do that. My mission is to inspire other people. I believe that kindness always wins. Thankfully these people are in the minority xx

      Reply
  8. Annette, 3 Little Buttons

    I actually saw this photo before seeing your post and thought, wow, you look stunning in that dress. I can’t imagine what goes through peoples minds when they write nasty comments like that. It’s just not called for, and yes, you are a super strong women, but I doubt it even crossed their minds to think of the damage they could have caused if it had been someone vulnerable on the receiving end. Everyone should be free to be themselves no matter what their shape or size. I wish everyone would push each other up a bit more, rather than pulling each other down. Fab read as always. #Brillblogposts x
    Annette, 3 Little Buttons recently posted…It’s time to get your bits out – gulp!My Profile

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Thank you darling and I agree, we must stand shoulder to shoulder supporting and lifting one another up. There is so much good out there, like you all. That’s what I choose to focus on xx

      Reply
  9. Susie/So Happy In Town

    I just love you for writing such a heartfelt, honest post about yourself, your blog and the people who try their best to put you down. You so rightly point out that, although it’s absolutely horrible to have negative comments pointed at you at any time in your life, you are in a place now where you can take it, even though it hurts, and you can see it for the small mindedness that it is. But if anyone is feeling vulnerable, or lonely and frightened, and some smart alec decides to flippantly write a nasty comment, it could make anyone come crashing down. It’s wonderful that parents now have honest brave people like yourself showing them that it’s OK to feel low and to be finding things tough, because we all do, and we’re all in it together. And you do always look fantastic – anyone who says otherwise is really pathetic and jealous! Big hugs, Susie xx
    Susie/So Happy In Town recently posted…This Is What I’d Like To Do: A DedicationMy Profile

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Thank you my darling, for your kindness and support. Had this comment come to me last summer at a time I felt incredibly low, it would have hurt far more, or after my traumatic birth. No one has a right to put another down and I’m sick of the body shaming that goes on online. There is so much good though, you guys are testament to that, thank you xxx

      Reply
  10. Angela Milnes

    I really enjoyed reading your post. You have come a long way. Some people on social media are just plain rude or jealous. Love your dress!! – Angela x

    Reply
  11. MyCityMyLondon

    Haters you will always have, and growing a thick skin is the key:) Same for dealing with family/friends who criticise how I raise my son. In one ear, out through the other:) xx

    http://www.Mycitymylondon.me
    MyCityMyLondon recently posted…5 reasons why your hair won’t growMy Profile

    Reply
  12. Jacqui Paterson (@JaxFortyNorth)

    Sometimes people really suck. Luckily it’s only a tiny percentage, and the rest of us (the remaining 99.9%) think you look GORGEOUS in that dress. People who say hurtful things under the premise of being ‘honest’ are rude and ridiculous, and should totally and absolutely be ignored at all costs. But you knew that already! xx

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Thanks beaut, there are some strange people in this world. So important to remember the good. Hopefully this post might help remind people to really think before they tweet/write xx

      Reply
  13. Eb Gargano | Easy Peasy Foodie

    I do find trolling utterly bizzare. Why would anyone go out of their way to say something mean to a random stranger? I just do not comprehend why anyone would do that – surely there are a bazillion things better to be doing with your life??? And for the record, I think you look gorgeous in that lovely dress! Clearly the trolls have no taste 😉 Eb x
    Eb Gargano | Easy Peasy Foodie recently posted…Easy Wholemeal Soda BreadMy Profile

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Haha thanks darling. This woman was saying she was trying to be kind-we clearly have a different understanding on kindness. Thank you for your lovely words, you guys are so wonderful and knowing I have your support makes me feel strong enough to deal with the darker side of being online. Thank you xx

      Reply
  14. mummy here and there

    I think you look fabulous Vicky and it is just wrong to be so nasty on commenting on your children, mind boggles why people have to get so dame right personal, below the line in my opinion. Keep going girl, you work bloody hard X #brilliantblogposts
    mummy here and there recently posted…Social anxiety kicks in!My Profile

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Thanks love. It is utterly baffling. That weak troll blocked me before I could respond too. How horrendous is that, targeting kids. I’m teaching my own children to be kind. Thank you for your lovely words x

      Reply
  15. Clare

    Hey lovely lady – as I said at the time – idiot. And I’m a big girl – relatively happy in my own skin but mega sensitive. I simply do not understand trolls? It can only be jelousy – how sad is that? Anyway you are admired and loved as you spearhead this on-line blogging world. I salute you and you are inspirational
    (And BTW you look amazing in that dress ppppffffttttt)

    Big Love Cx

    Reply
  16. Nichole Goodland

    Definitely, ignore the trolls and love yourself. I never really understand why people feel the need to say nasty things and I don’t think I ever will understand. The main thing is you have a wonderful family, an exciting career, and many people who love to follow your journey. 🙂 x
    #brillblogposts
    Nichole Goodland recently posted…Father’s Day Gift Guide 2017My Profile

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Aw thank you, health and happiness is number one. I wanted to share my experience so others who might have gone through it too don’t feel so alone xx

      Reply
  17. Steven Lea - FitDadz.com

    Haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate.

    Every person should feel comfortable with their body no matter what it looks like. As long as your happy, that’s the main thing.

    That’s what I try to show in my blog.

    At the end of the day we are all miracles and should be proud no matter what!

    Reply
  18. Kim Taylor

    I think what ever you do there will always be bitchiness, unfortunately with blogging it’s done publicly. Ignore it, you’re fab x

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Thanks Kim and ditto and you are right, anything public will always leave you susceptible to the bad along with the good x

      Reply
  19. oldhouseintheshires

    I loved this post! You are right….we need strong, woman role models for our children (and I don’t write just daughters here on purpose). I hate when people call little girls “bossy” when the same actions from boys are “assertive” and we need to remember to celebrate awesomeness (not sure that is a proper word!). Your blog is awesome and therefore you should be shouting out about it! Honestly, (no pun intended) I’m so glad that your blog is so successful and I expect you have worked really hard for it! Social media is bonkers, let’s be truthful here so I’m glad that you have experienced more positives than negatives. The lady on FB was probably having a really bad day herself and therefore, thought she would take it out on you….its never more personal but dont forget, she may also be jealous. Sadly, not everyone is kind or nice in this world. I love what you are wearing btw and think as long as you like it, who cares? Thank you for a great read. x #BrillBlogposts.
    oldhouseintheshires recently posted…10 ways to deal with slugs and snails in the garden without using chemicals.My Profile

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Thank you and you are right, I abhor the term bossy, research shows girls are made to feel they should be less adventurous and therefore end up taking fewer risks into adulthood and language and actions from a young age have long lasting effect. I like what I’m wearing and I like myself too. I hope more women can feel like I do. Thanks for your comment.

      Reply
  20. Susan Mann

    I think I have been lucky not to have any trolls, but the internet as so many positives, I am pleased to see you included those there. So many go for the negative. I am sorry people have been not nice to you. You look fab and don’t let these people get to you x

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Thank you Susan, the positive are far greater than the negatives and I love what I do. I felt it important to share the darker side though as so many are targeted. I’m glad you’ve not had any negativity. It’s only been few and far between here too so I count myself lucky, I just hope more people think before they tweet/write online xx

      Reply
  21. Mummy Setra

    Such a brilliant piece! I think there are things that we all have to remember when it comes to social media, and to just take the positivity and ignore the negativity.
    I always think that people who make negative comments are just jealous of what you have achieved – I loved the photo – so “normal”!
    Looking forward to the book coming out!
    Mummy Setra recently posted…You have to be in it to win it, right?My Profile

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Thank you, I will never understand why others feel the need to make others feel bad about themselves but you are spot on, we need to focus on the good x

      Reply
  22. Laurie Girl & Tonic

    A much needed read for me. I’ve had a couple of trolls recently on my instagram, nasty direct messages sent & sometimes it’s hard to brush off. Thanks for your positivity & the light you spread #brilliantblogposts

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      I am so, so sorry to read this. What is wrong with people? Focus on all the good. We must not let them win or stop us x

      Reply
  23. Lucy At Home

    I am so sorry to hear that you’ve had to come to terms with this comment this week. I just don’t understand trolling at all. Like you, I strive to use the internet to spread happiness and light. Also, as you said, the word “fat” is so dangerous. In fact any comment on someone’s size. You have no idea what their inner struggles are and how they might internalize that comment. Keep doing what you’re doing, Vicki – you are a beautiful person, inside and out. One bad comment is a drop in the ocean so try to give it the attention it deserves = none! #brillblogposts
    Lucy At Home recently posted…Intrusive Question No. 632: More Kids??My Profile

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Thank you darling and ditto. So much good in the world, like you and everyone here. That’s what matters xxx

      Reply
  24. Meg

    Brilliant post. Social media is both good and bad depending on the people you encounter! Can’t believe the comment about the dress – you look fab in it.

    Looking forward to your book 🙂 #brillblogposts
    Meg recently posted…Let’s not talk about the electionMy Profile

    Reply
  25. Laurie

    I guess when your this huge in Blogosphere there are bound to be some baddies lurking around. All you need to do is remember you are loved far more than you are trolled. And so inspiring too! xx
    http://www.vanityandmestyle.com
    Laurie recently posted…East Uk – Pretty Embroidered Tunic Perfect For Keeping CoolMy Profile

    Reply
  26. Rebecca Smith

    Lovely piece Vicki, your always so down-to-earth…and despite the fact that that I know this hurt you, you’ve risen so far above it, it’s now tiny, infinitesimal, an atom of a troll!!! x
    Rebecca Smith recently posted…Free From Festival 2017 – Old Spitalfields Market, LondonMy Profile

    Reply
  27. Kate Shelby

    I’ve been in the daily a couple of times (not that I asked to be, you know how they work) and I have to say that’s probably one of the worst experiences of all as a blogger so far. Their audience is brutal. I’m happy it happened early days, to prepare for how bad it possibly could be and even more now that I work for others behind the scenes with high profile people, I am no longer shocked by what people are capable of. People can be _______. You are a ball of positive energy, how anyone can say negative things is beyond me.

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Aw thank you Kate, it’s a scary paper/site to feature on and best not to read the comments I’ve found. Thank you for your kindness and support xx

      Reply
  28. Katie

    I often comment on your instagram posts to say you look great! I think it is so important to compliment other women. I recently wrote a post at meet other mums about stopping the bitching. We all need to be a bit more like the drunk girl in the loo on a night out! Friendly and complimentary!
    #brillblogposts
    Katie recently posted…Charity Spotlight – Tiny TickersMy Profile

    Reply
  29. Mary-Kate Norris

    Whattt…. I missed the mean comment. Stupid comment! You look AMAZING in that dress. I’m off on honeymoon soon. My chubbier than before children legs will be out and I will be happy. People need to think before they write things or practice what we teach our children – nothing nice to say dont say anything. Ahh
    Anyway – stunning! X

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Thank you darling and you will look amazing. I am so tired of people tearing others down. No one can stop us. Yay for female solidarity and all the positivity I’ve seen ten fold xxx

      Reply
  30. Monika Dabrowski

    Thank you for sharing this important aspect of blogging and your personal experiences. My blog is still fairly new so thankfully I haven’t experienced anything negative so far but it doesn’t hurt to be prepared.
    Monika Dabrowski recently posted…Comment on Broccoli Bean Thread Vermicelli Salad with Hoisin Dressing by MonikaMy Profile

    Reply
  31. Jody at Six Little Hearts

    To the people that troll you, my message is this:

    Take a good, hard look at yourselves and ask yourself ‘why’ you feel the need to bring others down?

    Beautiful read Vicki. Jealousy will always follow success sadly but you are facing this bravely while being a role model for all of womankind. X
    Jody at Six Little Hearts recently posted…Bellabox Bellababy Review, A May Unboxing Plus Reader Discount Offer…My Profile

    Reply
  32. Michelle Goodwin

    Trolls are just vile and pathetic. You are much better than they are and have so much to be proud of. Luckily i’ve not had any negative comments yet, but it’s always something that worries me, especially with my blog going deeply into my own mental health struggles. #brillblogposts

    Reply
  33. Adam

    When bad things happen and people are cruel it amazes me how strangers and friends alike come together and show camaraderie and community spirit. We see it after disasters, I saw it last year when I was ill and we saw it on your page this week. People can hurt and baffle and then the good people come along to restore our faith in humanity.

    Reply
  34. jeremy- thirstydaddy

    Its amazing how much braver people can be from behind a computer screen. Bullies are that way because it gives them a sense of power. Unfortunately the online world, and the anonymity that it can offer, has turned many that weren’t previously into bullies. I’ll never understand it #brilliantblogposts
    jeremy- thirstydaddy recently posted…Her GodMy Profile

    Reply
  35. Mim

    You definitely do right to ignore the trolls – unkind and unwarranted lovely as you’re beautiful inside and out. Lots of love x x

    Reply
  36. ohmummymia

    I think we all have some internet trolls on our blogs. Te only what I can tell you is that you are amazing and no matter what they will say or write you have your true fans and they know that you are good person:)
    #brillblogposts

    Reply
  37. Midge @Peachicks' Bakery

    I honestly don’t know where people find the time let alone the energy to be so bitter and awful to other people over little things like how they look in a dress! (The Peachicks LOVED the dress btw!) Life is far too short! Take care chick x

    Reply
  38. Emma Peach

    I really don’t understand why someone would say you look fat in that dress – you most definitely do not, I think you look lovely in it. Also, why feel the need to write something so horrible? If you don’t like what someone’s wearing, don’t say anything, simple! I’ve turned down opportunities to be in the DM, mainly because I loathe the filthy rag, but also because I know it’d make me a target for trolls. “Catnip for the trolls” made me giggle 🙂

    Emma xxx
    http://www.style-splash.com
    Emma Peach recently posted…Floral Print Midi Skirt and Cropped Cardigan + Style With a Smile Link UpMy Profile

    Reply
  39. Honest Mum

    Hi Jodie, thanks for this. I don’t personally think I looked fat in the picture but even if others felt I did, that lady didn’t need to say it if she thought it. What good does it achieve.

    Reply
    • jodie filogomo

      I totally don’t think you look fat either Vicki—I hope that didn’t come across in my ranting…
      I just don’t understand why people would say those things???
      XOXO
      jodie filogomo recently posted…Our Recipes for Dressing UpMy Profile

      Reply
  40. littleblackdomicile

    You are always an inspiration to all, and especially to we fellow bloggers. Blogging takes passion and endurance. It is not an easy feat. We appreciate you!-Laurel Bledsoe

    Reply
  41. Andrea Nine

    You are stunning, your voice is influential and your content is amazing! I’m so glad you’ve grown to where you are today!!!

    Reply
  42. Elizabeth (Wander Mum)

    You’re doing a great job hun! I just do not understand people that say – or write – hurtful things. I pity them. ‘If you can’t say anything nice…’ and all that! I’m actually really shocked about you getting targeted by other bloggers. Fortunately, I’ve only experienced the good side of blogging so far. Sorry to hear that xx

    Reply
  43. Alexandra | Mrs Hodgson

    You look so beautiful as always in this pic. I’ll never understand the mind of people who think it’s ok to use such derogatory terms. I had some funny comments on my Instagram once which I just laughed at as they were so outrageous. I’m so glad you don’t let it get to you. I’m also incredibly grateful that you put articles like this out. It’s so beautifully written and empowering and it definitely helps those who are struggling in these areas to know they’re not alone. Love you so much and proud to know you x

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      I’m so sorry you’ve received odd comments and so glad you laughed at them. I will never understand others’ need to tear people down. You are amazing! Thank you for your kindness, love you too xx

      Reply
  44. Emerald

    Hi Vicki. You’ll see me commenting on your FB page and FB Lives as Emily. And I was one of the people who was pissed off at the comment on your recent photo. Apart from it being a load of nonsense, why be so mean in the first place?

    Everyone has their own opinion, but how much does it really affect us personally if a third party is wearing something good we don’t think suits them? How does it make our day better to point this out and how helpful is it really?

    When I lived in London I had a good friend who had punky dress sense (back in the 1990s, as did I). One day she was hopping mad because while walking through Brixton a complete stranger had shouted at her, “Hey love! You look sh*t!” She was quite vocal and asked him who the heck he was anyway and that she didn’t give two hoots. Because of her individual dress sense she got lots of negative comments and her modus operandi became that she didn’t mind people having a little laugh to themselves when the got past her, but if they were shouting at her in the street then it became personal and invasive. I don’t like either treatment myself, but I guess I see her point.

    I was trolled once on… wait for it! … an AC/DC fan site because I’d posted an angry message upbraiding people who were touting gig tickets. The whole site (of mainly heavy metal guys!) flew to my defence! ?

    Keep posting your lovely outfits x.

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Your friends sounds amazing, I want us all to feel free to be who we want to be without fear of others’ sharing their editorial judgements on our lives, style, gender etc. I won’t stop posting hun x

      Reply
  45. Maria Jose

    I’ve been blogging since 2010 like you and have maybe once had a negative comment. I started doing comedic videos in Spanish that cover a variety of topics and suddenly I’m being attacked left and right. Not about the content, but on my looks, my weight, the specifics of my face, how I look like a dog, etc. Etc. And just hate for being female, comedic and chilean. All of these comments mostly on You Tube we’re I’d never even get views o. Other videos and all by men. My safe place, FB too, blew up in my face with nasty and very hurtful Comments by women tearing me apart. It left me with a fear of doing more and I struggled with the idea of countinuing. I know what I look like, but the vileness and obvious intent to break me down is what scares me. I turned off comments for a bit to regain sanity. Everything you wrote is what I feel. The good is great, knowing people relate to you and enjoy your work your craft. We are entertainers, we share and create from the heart and we wouldn’t fathom saying hateful things to others for no reason at all. I get you girl. I’m 38 and have no time for BS. Our experiences are the foundation for our strength + confidence. Thanks for this. It has been a rough week trying to manage the trolls these past few days. Lots of love from across the pond. Xo

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      So, so sorry to read this Maria, people can be so cruel. You are beautiful and talented, how dare anyone tear you down. We must not allow others to stop us sharing our art with the world. Ever. Lots of love to you xx

      Reply
  46. Notmyyearoff

    I’m so sorry you got trolled over the very gorgeous way you made that dress look. I actually wanted it when I saw it on you (then realised I had a similar one from the same shop, doh). Some people are just pure spiteful and I am sure it’s jealousy that spurs them on. Having said that, no one should have to endure it and it’s so sad people take the time out of their day to be so horrible. You are going from strength to strength though and you always always look fabulous!! Xx
    Notmyyearoff recently posted…Little discoveries on our Scotland trip and a little videoMy Profile

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Aw thank you darling, no one has the right to make someone else feel bad. Ooh great minds on the dress too, thank you beautiful lady xx

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

CommentLuv badge

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.