success

A lot of people keep mentioning ‘success’ to me lately, some kindly comment that they feel I’m successful- and while that’s flattering, it’s made me question how I personally deem and measure success.

While many understandably view stats, follows, likes, subscribers, accolades and income as ways to define success-it can be a disheartening and inaccurate way to measure success in my opinion.

It all boils down to what you define as successful.

First off I will state my blog is my business, it’s my full time job so naturally I review my stats and ensure I’m making a living that pays for myself and my small team from my blog- but I don’t obsess with figures-they don’t define me and they shouldn’t define you.

While I’m grateful to those who follow Honest Mum (hi Mum 😉 ), those who help me to grow my platforms and whom often tell me that they enjoy what I do, my success-read-happiness must fall on me.

Because how I FEEL is how I define success.

Not everyday because life is a rollercoaster right Ronan 😉 but for the most part I ask myself-

AM I HAPPY? AM I STIMULATED? ARE MY KIDS HAPPY? DO I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING AND SWITCH ON MY LAPTOP EXCITED FOR THE DAY? AM I WORKING WITH BRANDS I LOVE ON PROJECTS I ADORE? AM I PUSHING MYSELF TO KEEP CREATING BETTER CONTENT? AM I HELPING OTHERS?

DOES LIFE FEEL GOOD MOST OF THE TIME? AM I CHERISHING THE LITTLE (BUT MOST IMPORTANT THINGS)? AM I LEARNING FROM MISTAKES AND GROWING> AM I TAKING THE HIGH GROUND? AM I WORKING AT BALANCE AND TIME OUT?

DO I LIKE MYSELF?

If I answer is yes to the above, for most of the time, then I know I’m on the right road to success for me. My own personal journey. We all have goals, ambitions, outcomes we strive for whether that’s cracking America Craig David style (yes please) or having 5 kids (now that’s another dream of mine)-each and everyone one of us has our own version of success.

To me, success means working in a flexible way which puts me in the driving seat.

That works for my family.

That means I can work remotely, anywhere in the world frankly, on my time and on my terms.

Success means I can utilise my years of experience as a multi-award winning TV director and filmmaker (don’t let awards define you either)-and merge my many passions on the blog, my YouTube channel and elsewhere in a meaningful way.

I’m still a documentary maker, just one who now documents mine and my own family’s lives right here on a democratic platform in a job that only came into being, for me, any least, almost 6 years ago.

Success means I’m content, fulfilled, stretched, stimulated, sometimes overwhelmed but mostly understood and madly PASSIONATE about what I do. So much so, I’m writing this post about that exact thrill and love of the job at midnight when I should be asleep.

This post and video by my hero Marie Forleo underpins the notion that we must like ourselves and what we do and allow that to dictate success for us. Her own post on measuring success rang true to me in every way.

I love sharing and posting, connecting and hopefully engaging with others. Making people feel not so alone, helping them to laugh, feel hungry (!) and entertained through my work.

The figures, the follows, the likes, the shares-to know people I don’t know read my blog, people who sometimes stop me in the street, know my stories, my family’s, can relate to my life-well that’s all just UTTERLY insane and wonderful but it mustn’t be mine -or your- EVERYTHING.

Viewers, readers and popularity can wane-stats can fall as much as they peak, social media growth can stagnate-one minute you’re celebrated, the next you could be trolled-it’s how you deem yourself throughout that counts.

What keeps you pushing on and what should define you is the PASSION for the craft, the LOVE- in caps- for what you do and how it makes you feel whether you have 1 reader or 1 million- the rush you get as you carve and create your own space in what can sometimes feel an overcrowded world online but is a corner just for you, all yours .

A place you can feel empowered and empower others. A place you can call your own.

A place you can unapologetically be whomever you want to be.

Your canvas, your words, your world.

Somewhere you can share your voice. And you can keep on sharing. And shooting and working. And learning and loving what you do.

To me, that is success.

Huge, gold star, big tick in every box, success.

 

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How I Define Success - Honest Mum

 

 

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35 Responses

  1. Deborah (Deb's) Towers

    What a lovely blog, I can definitely relate to. You have to be passionate about what you do or you are not being the best authentic version of yourself. I tried many things in the past, they didn’t make me happy. But now I am thankful I found my calling. Be it a slow process but I do loveeeee it. <3

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Wonderful to read, thank you. You are so right about discovering your passion and pushing on doing what you love.

      Reply
  2. Marko @ Parent Support Hub

    Great article!
    The bottom line is that successful people don’t wait for the right time. In fact, they never once think that the time is not right. It’s important that you set clear goal and objectives and give the best shot.

    Reply
  3. Lucy at occupation: (m)other

    Thank you for sharing this with me today, I hadn’t previously seen it. SO TRUE. Every word, I love it. Succes is so, so personal but ultimately we all need to be happy and excited with what we are doing whatever the reason for doing it and however different it may (or may not) be what someone else is doing.
    For now I’m happy with just feeling excited, and developing ideas – with creating. But if I want my blog to do something different in the future then other measures of success may come into play…but hopefully there’s always be the core reasons that get my fingers tapping! X

    Reply
  4. Debbie

    Hi Vicky, what one person deems a success another may not, and I totally agree that success should be measured on how we feel and not by comparing ourselves to others. We all have our own secret dreams/goals we would love to fulfill, but just because we haven’t doesn’t make us any less successful in our lives.

    Success is very much a personal thing and should not be dictated by others expectations.

    xx
    Debbie recently posted…Our Climb To The Dragon Caves And BeyondMy Profile

    Reply
  5. David Mellor

    Great post and very refreshing. Success must always be subjective which is why what makes one person happy and content will not necessarily work for another. Unfortunately society and the wider media often tries to distort this and have us believe in very rigid definitions of success. I feel more successful already reading this haha. Thanks for posting.

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Aw love this comment, thank you and you are spot on, we need to find our own parameters and definition of what we deem successful.

      Reply
  6. Single Mum Speaks

    I’m glad I read this post today as I was literally just thinking that maybe I should be thinking about putting stuff on my blog which I think will get me more “hits,” so to speak, but which I’m not really passionate about. This is a reminder that the most important thing is that my blog is how I want it to be, and at the end of the day stats don’t matter. #brilliantblogposts

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      100%, write what you want to read yourself and be true to you, an audience will find you and the most important thing: you are happy and proud of what you do xx

      Reply
  7. Mummy here and there

    It is easy to look at numbers as it is visual but totally agree success is what you want from it. How measure it is purely subjective. It is what you want and don’t think anyone can tell others what is failing or successful. You have to go what is right for you X #brilliantblogposts

    Reply
  8. Mess and Merlot

    I had a very similar conversation with my brother recently re success. To me, if I’m happy, that’s success. If the kids are ok, we can afford food and bills and we are in good health, that’s success. You set your own markers so celebrate the small successes while maintaining a healthy ambition to grow in a positive way however big or small ? #BrillBlogPosts
    Mess and Merlot recently posted…Magical Rainbows & Unicorns PartyMy Profile

    Reply
  9. Cydney

    Really enjoyed reading this post, i can really relate as a multiple business owner it can be easy to chase success but i really like that you said success is how you FEEL, this is so important. Thanks for sharing this 🙂

    – Cydney x

    Reply
  10. Rach

    Great post. So glad I read this. It’s helped me gain a little perspective and stop beating myself up quite so often. #brilliantblogposts
    Rach recently posted…Abortion: A Woman’s RightMy Profile

    Reply
  11. Laila

    All your blogs just leave me feeling so invigorated Vicki! These words are words that I need to keep in mind!

    Reply
  12. Mummy Fever

    This couldn’t have come on a better day for me. Thank you. This last month in particular I have worked so hard on my blog and I’ve seen followers on all platforms climb significantly, and unique users and page views. Yet, my tots ranking went up by 2! I felt totally deflated until I read this thanks so much for keeping it real, charlottexxx

    Reply
  13. Jane Batt

    I’m having a real rethink at the moment about what makes me feel happy and successful and the direction I want to take in future. These things are constantly evolving so it’s very interesting to read your thoughts. Thank you
    Jane Batt recently posted…How to Keep Your Child’s Feet Fit!My Profile

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      They do evolve Jane but they always come back to what truly matters-the questions we have to ask ourselves on what makes us happy first and foremost x

      Reply
  14. Ebabee

    Love this post – so well said. And I couldn’t agree more. You have to define your own success, not define it by numbers. Ultimately success is anything and everything that makes you happy. And like you, blogging makes me happy – I so enjoy what I do and everything else that has come along with it is a bonus. A fabulous bonus, but still a bonus. xx
    Ebabee recently posted…Black & white Easter egg bunniesMy Profile

    Reply
  15. Mirka Moore

    I agree darling, that everyone has their own way to measure success, and what means success to some does not necessarily mean the same to others. I think the most important is always to try your best for yourself and your family to be happy, do things that make you and them happy. For me you’re a huge success, and a great example of bloggers can achieve xxx

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Aw thank you my darling, I feel the same way about you-you are successful in every way. You are so right about happiness, nothing else matters xx

      Reply
  16. Leigh - Headspace Perspective

    Fabulous and we’ll said Vicki. Success is fluid and it’s subjective. I’m far less worried about stats and other numbers these days. My success measure is knowing how many people Hugo’s legacy has touched, what people have learnt as a result. Because my blog is my place to share my voice, and my precious little boy. Xxxx
    Leigh – Headspace Perspective recently posted…The Week That Was: March 20, 2016My Profile

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Thank you Leigh, you are spot on about success being fluid and subjective-we must carve out what it means for us and not worry about others’ definitions. You are a complete success Leigh, you touch, inform, support and of course share beautiful Hugo and his life. You write so well and from the heart too- thanks for this lovely comment xx

      Reply

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