I wasn’t sure what picture to use for this post on feeling lonely in lockdown but I was certain of the words I wanted to write.
This period has tested us all, some more acutely than others of course but all of us have felt the repercussions of this crisis, and while I feel lucky that my family are well, I want to be candid and share that right now, I feel lonely, bored, frustrated and claustrophobic and I know many of you feel the same because I read your messages, comments and posts (thank you @mokuska for your moving newsletter tonight which perfectly articulated the ennui of our current Groundhog Day situ).
This on-going disconnection feels as if I’m living in a parallel world or waiting to join the old one I once inhabited. Despite being lucky to have a job, the juggle of 24/7 caring for my children and deadlines is intense and the emotional fall-out is catching up with us. The detachment. The confines of our homes and our worlds closing in. I’m living so much of my life through my phone.
It’s strange to admit loneliness when you have your immediate family with you 24/7 but we really are confined in ‘a bubble’, a bubble away from my parents (who, after months, I’ll hopefully see in a few weeks time) and away from the majority of my closest friends who live all over the world from London to Leeds to LA, the friends I can be completely myself with. I miss the ‘me’ around those people.
The laughter, the stories, the connection and collaboration. FaceTime and Zoom help but often serves to highlight the lack of proximity IRL we’re experiencing right now. I don’t have answers but I do now you miss who you love and I’m grateful to love so many ❤️❤️.