Vicki-Honest MumThis is a totally normal way to pose for a photo right?

Ok so we all know ‘normal’ doesn’t really exist but surely everyone can relate to that very real pressure to fit in, you know, feeling like you’re doing the right thing, ticking the boxes of thriving at life, parenting, your job….this oh so common weighing yourself up against the ‘norms’ and trying not to feel the odd one out…

I’m mostly confident in who I am and what I’m doing, not letting others sway the way I lead my life or how I parent… yet sometimes I do find myself wondering how flipping normal we are in this family…

I mean most nights my kids sleep with us. They like it. So do we. They go to sleep in their beds and magically find themselves in ours. Yes I’d love to not have tiny little feet in my back but realistically we do all get a better night’s sleep when we’re together. And no one wants to waste a King Size bed right?

We all seem to SHOUT a lot in this house (sometimes when talking excitedly, usually because shouting drills my point home and I’m originally Greek and we like to shout (disclosure not all Greeks shout, just every Greek in my family).

I’m also totally guilty of shouting at my eldest NOT TO SHOUT! Fail.

Disclosure 2 my husband never shouted before he met me. He says I ruined him. Ha!

We buy too many toy cars, balloons that last a day, soon to be flat footballs and those extortionate kids magazines from Tesco Express no one ever reads that I promise myself I’ll never buy again (every single time). I even end up buying toys sometimes hours after I’ve threatened never to buy toys again.

Can someone please help me to stop controlling my kids through the power of Matchbox ยฃ1 car purchases.

There must be another way to get round the supermarket in peace. Thanks…

Oh and sometimes I swear a little and if the kids repeat it, I blame my non swearing husband. Shit, I hope I am normal. Are you?

Photograph by Kirsty Mattsson Photography.

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120 Responses

  1. Susan Mann

    You are so normal. We are the same in our house. My husband’s family shout a lot and I’m sure my middle child doesn’t know how to talk quietly ๐Ÿ™‚ x

    Reply
  2. Hayley Goleniowska

    Yep honey, you are ‘normal’ as are the rest of us. I did laugh at the shouting too. We have an Italian in the house and he raises the volume quite a bit and we all follow suit.
    I’ve been muling a piece about normal? myself, along disability lines… this has got me thinking.
    Hayley

    Reply
    • honestmum

      Thanks Hayley, love that your Italian has got you lot shouting too. Your post sounds fabulous, I would love to read it and think it would help a lot of people x

      Reply
  3. Babes about Town

    LOL well as I said before I even read this post, you’re not normal and that’s why I love you (because we’re not normal either). But if we’re all abnormal, I guess that kind of evens things out eh? So with you on the shouting at the boys to stop shouting. I’ve been trying to do that reverse psychology trick where I whisper like Marlon Brando and everybody pays attention. It’s not working. xoxo

    Reply
  4. Adrienne

    I think it is lovely that you all sleep in your bed together. I shared a bed with my son on holiday earlier this year. He slept like a star fish most nights, I was at the very edge of the bed but I didn’t really mind. I don’t think I am ‘normal’ but who wants to be ordinary anyways ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  5. ghostwritermummy

    Sounds totally normal to me! We call Bella the fog horn because she’s so loud but actually I think she has to be to be heard! And yes, we cannot do the shopping without 3 Hot Wheels making it into the trolley at some point. It’s everyone else that is strange… x x x

    Reply
  6. Tom @Ideas4Dads

    All sounds pretty normal to me ๐Ÿ™‚ as long as you are happy in yourself, which its obv you are then, who cares what normal means I say ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  7. Tracey @ mummyshire

    I just love the question because what is normal? I’m from a very busy, shouty big family and my husband the complete oosite! So our “new” normal is a mixture of the two, although the big & loud does aortya dominate!! I think as long as you’re happy doing your own thing then that’s as normal as its gonna get!!

    Reply
  8. Debbie

    We are all normal in our own way and your family life sounds normal to me, it’s just not our normal – if you know what I mean?

    I think that the shouting you describe is perfectly normal, especially if you have Greek blood in you. I live in Greece and most Greek people I know shout. They shout when they are happy, they shout when they are cross and they shout to greet their neighbour who is stood two feet away. Saying that though all our neighbours look exceedingly old and probably have hearing issues.

    I prefer that normality is measured on an individual basis, at least that way we are all normal!

    Reply
    • honestmum

      That made me laugh Debbie, yes not all Greeks are loud-in fact there’s a saying ‘The Quiet Greek’ but everyone in my family is pretty loud! Fab comment

      Reply
  9. Sam @ And then the fun began...

    Vicki you sound remarkably normal to me! We are shouty too and I do the whole shouting at my son to stop shouting thing too and the amount of matchox cars in our house is becoming a bit of a joke quite frankly ๐Ÿ™‚ X

    Reply
  10. Morgan Prince

    Oh my you are so right. We all question ourselves constantly don’t we? In answer to your question, yes you are normal, and so am I and so is anyone else. Because really how do we define ‘normal’? What is normal for us is really rather strange to someone who lives in a different country. Don’t sweat it. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
    • honestmum

      Thanks I think wherever you live or the choices you make are individual to you and should be celebrated! Thanks for your comment ๐Ÿ™‚

      Reply
  11. Leigh Kendall

    ‘Normal’ is such a difficult concept to define. We all have our own normal, or getting used to a ‘new normal’ – it can be an ever-changing feast. I’m not sure there really is a ‘normal – it’s just a state of what is, if that makes sense! xxx

    Reply
  12. susan @happyhealthymumma

    you are totally normal and yet totally unique too Vicki. Sleeping together for me is totally normal! nothing wrong with that! (I co-sleep). I’m a quiet mouse but I a sure once Thomas is older I will be shouting! lol and buying ยฃ1 toy cars! haha and I love your pose- totally not normal but i love that!

    Reply
  13. Michelle at Bod for tea

    Well if you’re normal then so am I! I shout FAR too much (never shouted at all before the kids arrived) especially when we’re trying to get out of the door and lately I’ve found myself berating my daughter off for behaving just as I do myself! Lovely honest post – your authenticity shines through in your words and that’s why we love you xx

    Reply
  14. Mama and More aka Zaz

    Nothing normal about you my darling! Quite extraordinary i’d say! I think though that everyone finds their normal in their sphere, but show me a single household in the UK with kids in it where there isn’t shouting on a daily basis, and they’re probably mute! I definitely shout, even at myself when I run back into the house looking for something I’ve forgotten AGAIN! Fab post babe. Normal? Who wants normal?? xxx

    Reply
  15. Margarita

    You are most definitely normal! I think anyone could relate to this, I shout an awful lot too, I try not to, but many Europeans just do!

    Reply
  16. PottyMouthedMummy

    Ha ha ha this really made me chuckle. I think aside from some families I see who seem to be VERY quiet and overly civilised, I think we all have those moments.

    We like to turn the radio up and wiggle our bums, yes my son twerks….whoops. xxx

    Reply
  17. Nicola

    I m with you in the “never buying you a magazine again” my kids get so frustrated when the cheap and nasty free toys break but i know they ll break me down again when i need to get the shopping done quickly!

    Reply
  18. Nicola

    I m with you on the “never buying magazines again” my kids get so frustrated when the cheap and nasty toys break but i just know they ll break me down again when i need to get out of the shop quickly!

    Reply
    • honestmum

      Those magazines are extortionate-the supermarket pressure is real though (come on, we can fight the lure together)!

      Reply
  19. Tim

    I don’t know if it’s so much whether or not we’re normal as whether or not we’re happy to accept that there is no such thing as perfect parenting. We all get things wrong or do things we instantly regret or win our children’s affection with ยฃ1 Matchbox cars (I am constantly guilty of this too!) But I’m learning to live with the fact that I will always do the odd small silly thing (if it doesn’t result in physical or emotional injury, I can live with it) and that as long as I do as many good things as I can to build up my credit column, then I’m probably doing fine. Now will someone tell my wife that? ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Reply
  20. Jenni

    Yes, yes, yes, yes and so on!! Except swap the Greek bit for Italian. Even the husband bit – mine got noisier post me apparently! I always tell him life’s never boring anyway! Xxxxx

    Reply
  21. suzanne3childrenandit

    The older I’ve got, I’ve come to realise that there is no ‘normal’…..we all have our own sense of ‘normal’ and mine will be different to yours. Yes I shout too and my kids have learnt to do the same. Not great but it gets us by!

    Reply
  22. Franki | Little Luca & me

    If you don’t shout in our house then nobody knows your there. We are all really loud, apart from my poor Dad who never gets a word in edge ways! My family are so far from normal it’s untrue but I wouldn’t want it any other way. I love that we are bonkers! Xx

    Reply
  23. Izzie Anderton

    Isn’t being normal simply overrated? My daughters used to sleep in our bed too and I’d have no recollection of them climbing in, but if they were sleeping and I could sleep, I couldn’t have cared less. Whatever gets you through can only be a good thing!

    Reply
  24. Ali Simpson

    I love this post…especially the shouting bit…oops guilty of that too! but hey, is it really good to be normal? I’m not so sure, perhaps extra-ordinary! xx

    Reply
  25. Jai @ Kiddy Reviews

    You made me smile throughout this post! I have a big, loud Indian family and can totally relate. I have also managed to convert my once “not-so-loud” hubby. And bub is always in our bed. I would rather he snuggled in with us and we all slept peacefully (despite the odd foot jab in my back or slap in the face). He also naps on our bed. It’s easier than the battle of putting him in the cot & doing the crying it out thing (never done it, never will). So basically, you’re normal and I love it! x

    Reply
  26. Mirka Moore @Kahanka

    If you are not normal, then who is? You have made me laugh, we are so similar but also so different. I love our super king size bed, and no children allowed! that’s only mummy & daddy’s space, but that’s just us and would never judge anyone for doing so. I know it’s lovely to have them in bed, and when they are ill, I give in, but love having all that space too. And you shout? Well, you should hear me at home! You would be surprised and Olivia has picked it up, and shouts all the time too…. apparently my mistake says daddy!

    Reply
    • honestmum

      Hhaha loved this and a little jealous of all that space in your bed, glad you shout too although wouldn’t have thought you were a shouter sweetie, relieved I’m not the only one x

      Reply
  27. Donna

    Normal just doesn’t exist unless normal is odd and strange. If you could see into my home you’d be petrified! lol

    Donna
    xx

    http://www.thelondonmum.me

    Reply
  28. Jenna

    Ah, great post! I love that you all share a bed.

    You should relish your quirks. Normal is boring! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Jenna at Tinyfootsteps

    Reply
  29. Vicki

    I am certainly not ‘normal’! I don’t want to be!! How boring would our world be if we were all the same…having said that I do most of the things you outline in your post!! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Reply
  30. Beth Twinderelmo

    Those bloody magazines – seriously, the amount I’ve bright and tried to force my son to look at again once he’s got out the car – think we are keeping them afloat!

    Reply
  31. Mel

    You are normal! I have to admit I am guilty of shouting at my little ones not to shout, too! We are so loud my poor neighbours must hate us… (love the pose for the photo!) x Mel

    Reply
  32. fashion-mommy

    You’re totally normal. My five year old gets in our bed every single night, even on our recent hols when he had a bed in the same room as us. My house is filled with ยฃ1 matchbox cars, and those crap magazine toys!

    #BrilliantBlogPosts

    Reply
    • honestmum

      So relieved to hear this, I think I slept in my parents bed for ages too-it’s nice and warm together isn’t it x

      Reply
  33. Tinuke

    Brilliant post! Normal is so overrated!
    For me, I equate ‘normal’ with dull and a lack of passion. I think it takes being a little abnormal, a little ‘special’ to keep sane and to have character!
    I’m with you with buying too many toys and kids magazines that ultimately will never be read!

    Reply
  34. mummytries

    OMG hon I could have written most of this myself, especially the shouting part. I know it’s mostly over excitement but it feels like i’m constantly telling my girls not to shout at the mo. Hubby wasn’t big on raised voices pre-me either. Oh dear ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Reply
  35. Notmyyearoff

    We are SOOO like this I am convinced our neighbours think we’re completely bonkers. And is it wrong that I saw your ยฃ1 mathbox car idea and think its the most amazing idea ever!!! I kept getting a kinder suprise and by the time we get home its completely melted in his hands. and the toy is pants!

    Reply
    • honestmum

      Bahah I am so glad, sure all our neighbours think we are crackers too! Think we’re the only shouters on this street too-can we move next door to one another please?! Oh no, bad influence there with the matchbox cars!

      Reply
  36. Mummy Says

    Another fab, refreshing post lovely. It all sounds very normal and quite like our house! I don’t know what it is but I can’t stop buying toys we don’t need! So glad I’m not alone… I also didn’t marry a shouter- oops! X

    Reply
  37. Louise @ Birds and Lilies

    I’m totally normal too ๐Ÿ˜‰ I was told that I’ve been saying ‘Pissed off’ in front of our daughter (because she’s said it a couple of times) and I completely denied it (I didn’t think I said it) but then it was pointed out to me when I said it again! Oops! I had no idea.

    And apparently I shout too – everyone used to say that I mumbled; so now I shout and they’re not happy with that either. I think we’re all a bit nutty really ๐Ÿ™‚ xx #brillblogposts

    Reply
  38. Chloe

    Haha. With you on the shouting point. I tend to get a bit passionate when arguing a point – don’t realise I’m shouting until Sam says “You don’t need to shout!”

    Reply
  39. Ramblings

    Guilty here too, I can’t even blame my greek heritage because I don’t have any ๐Ÿ˜‰ I’m trying hard to keep it under control and as the children get older I’m finding a low stern voice is way more effective than shouting. But sometimes I just can’t help it, especially when I’ve asked them to put their shoes on 5 times already and they still haven’t put them on!!

    Reply
    • honestmum

      Ha thanks, yes it starts to get so tiresome, the constant repeat instructions-will try harder to not be so shouty though x

      Reply
  40. ToddlerSlave

    Lovely post! I hate it when I find myself comparing my way of life to others’- I don’t know why I still do it! Everyone is different, I truly believe that there are now two people on the planet who think exactly alike on every single issue- so why on earth do we feel a need to ‘conform’?! Your fam sound brilliant and happy and that’s the most important thing! X

    Reply
    • honestmum

      Ha I totally agree and it seems to be accentuated when it comes to motherhood doesn’t it! We are very happy and that’s what matters x

      Reply
  41. Monika

    Yes, I’d say must of that is normal. I’m guilty of all except the matchbox purchases when we are shopping.

    Reply

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