Funny Things My Kid Says

Funny Things My Kid Says.

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Oliver is now 3 and a half and is pretty much a mini little man (one of my best friends commented that he was born mature and she’s so right).

He, like his mother is a non stop talker and enquirer of the all world’s ways and with his smart, thoughtful conversations come questions I often simply cannot answer because well I don’t know what kind of engine the helicopter whirring above us has or how spiders have babies. I do know a lot about Cars the Movie though and Thomas the Tank Engine but then that’s what he’s taught me, Oh and the ability to jump on a trampoline while playing catch. I never knew I could. Worth having a kid alone to discover the myriad ways a mother can multitask.

…Here are some of the things Oliver has been saying lately. I have been noting them down in my iPhone, trying to capture all his funniness especially for you… and one day I’ll no doubt exploit the comedy genius further and include them in a screenplay/book/series spin off. Thanks O!

We do bang on about addictives and colourings in food and just before he ate the above Cornetto, he asked the lady in the beach hut whether it had additives in it. I didn’t know the Portuguese translation so we quickly purchased said ice cream and told him not to worry. The most health conscious little person you might ever meet.

At the hotel pool chatting to new found holiday buddy Lucas, he, arm resting on the baby pool side said,

“So, Lucas, what did you do last night then?”.

Peter and I could not stop laughing. Wouldn’t it be funny if 6 year old Lucas turned around and replied, “Well I met some girls, had a few beers, went to a club…”

After a long walk with my Mum in the morning, he told his little friend George in the garden that,

“I need to relax now George, I was walking for miles today you know”. Bless.

After some light football play in the garden with his Uncle Solos, he stopped the game and slumped onto a deck chair.

Me: “What you doing Oliver, I thought you were having fun?”.

Oliver: “Ohh, can’t you see I’m relaxing Mummy”.

Right.

Returning from holiday Oliver was discussing flying back from Portugal.

“We were flying from Portugal to come to our home but how did we get here” (He meant originally).

“Well you were born in London then we drove to Leeds when you were 10 months”.

“Oh I remember now”.

Haha.

Near bedtime, over tired from too much play at Summer camp and more British sunshine than he’s used to, I told Oliver it was time for bed because he was tired.

Grumpily he retorted, “No, you just think I’m tired Mummy but I’m not”.

Three year old teenager anyone?

What have your kids been saying this week?