Oliver-Honest Mum

Funny Things My Kid Says…

Oliver-Honest Mum

Funny Things My Kid Says:

“Mama, are you a girl or a boy?”

“I’m a girl Oliver”.

“Do you have big balls Mama?”

“No, only boys have balls”. (Making small hand gesture)

“But have you got teeny, weeny, little balls Mama?”

“Not last time I looked, no”.

To his Grandma (Yiayia in Greek):

“I was in your tummy Yiayia.”

“No, Oliver, you were in Mummy’s tummy”.

“No. I was definately in your tummy Yiayia. I remember”.

Admitting defeat.

“OK Oliver, you were in Yiayia’s tummy”.

Whiles I had a girly weekend away in London, Oliver was playing with his cars and turned to his Daddy and said,

“Daddy, this line is a motorway here, I’m just going to drive to London to see Mama”. Bless.

Oliver, catching a bit of Nigella’s Christmas Special: “Look, Mama’s cooking on TV” (Sees the christmas pudding chocolate truffles she’s making).

“Shall we make those Mama?”

“Erm, I’m not actually Nigella, son”.

Making Christmas Tree pictures:

“I love snipping Mama, I would like to snip your hand now”.

“No, I rather need my hand Oliver, maybe another time”.

“OK then, good idea”.

What silly shizzle have your kids been saying?

Order my debut children's book

Greek Myths, Folktales & Legends for 9-12 year olds

Published by Scholastic. Available on Amazon

Pre-order Greek Myths, Folktales & Legends for 9-12 year olds (out on Sept 11th 2025)

Like what you've read? Then why not follow Vicki on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Pinterest and Instagram

Never Miss A Post!

Subscribe to HonestMum for my weekly email newsletter where I share my new blog posts, blogging tips, event invitations, competitions and news about my new book. I never share your personal data with third parties.