Funny Things My Kid Says:
“Mama, are you a girl or a boy?”
“I’m a girl Oliver”.
“Do you have big balls Mama?”
“No, only boys have balls”. (Making small hand gesture)
“But have you got teeny, weeny, little balls Mama?”
“Not last time I looked, no”.
To his Grandma (Yiayia in Greek):
“I was in your tummy Yiayia.”
“No, Oliver, you were in Mummy’s tummy”.
“No. I was definately in your tummy Yiayia. I remember”.
Admitting defeat.
“OK Oliver, you were in Yiayia’s tummy”.
Whiles I had a girly weekend away in London, Oliver was playing with his cars and turned to his Daddy and said,
“Daddy, this line is a motorway here, I’m just going to drive to London to see Mama”. Bless.
Oliver, catching a bit of Nigella’s Christmas Special: “Look, Mama’s cooking on TV” (Sees the christmas pudding chocolate truffles she’s making).
“Shall we make those Mama?”
“Erm, I’m not actually Nigella, son”.
Making Christmas Tree pictures:
“I love snipping Mama, I would like to snip your hand now”.
“No, I rather need my hand Oliver, maybe another time”.
“OK then, good idea”.
What silly shizzle have your kids been saying?


Order my debut children's book
Greek Myths, Folktales & Legends for 9-12 year olds
Published by Scholastic. Available on Amazon



