On the plus side, this picture above drawn by my son Oliver, that I found stuck on the classroom wall at parent’s evening made me laugh and melted my heart in equal measure! Silver lining and all that and the teacher saying wonderful things about my 4 year old. That was pretty special.
Anyway, if you’re also feeling a bit overwhelmed by noting things in your diary months in advance, then you’ll no doubt relate to this list below!
So you know you now have a child at school when…
1. You wake up at 8.30 am because you kept hitting snooze and your kid needs to be at the school gates for 8.50. Quavers count as breakfast right? School is just so flipping tiring (for both of you).
2. You’re required to wear more than your PJ’s and Uggs at crazy o’ clock in the morning. ‘Good intentions’ gym kit and Uggs are fine obviously.
3. You’re forced to smile and make small talk at the school gates when you’re NOT A MORNING PERSON!
4. The labels on most of your kids clothes you spent hours ironing on a few weeks ago have already fallen off because they just. won’t. stick. Money well spent then.
5. You start speaking phonetically (even to your colleagues) to help your child learn to read. You secretly love it.
6. Your child has grown up in front of your eyes in a matter of weeks and it makes you a little sad inside. You might find yourself weeping over red wine and old baby albums.
7. Requests for, ‘a sponge pudding in a silver chocolate melted, creamy sauce’ after eating it at school happens. A lot. Shit.
8. You never seem to have enough school jumpers by Sunday so you bulk buy on Monday because ironing sucks.
9. You’re required to do homework with your kids which (disclaimer) is of course highly rewarding (as long as it’s not maths of course) but the sticking, photographing and documenting all the fun times (when you’re not actually doing homework) is ‘something else’. And it never ends. A bit like auditioning to be a Blue Peter presenter forever.
10. You, like your child get that sinking Sunday feeling because it’s all about to start again…