Xander on a carousel

Next week sees my youngest son, Xander, start school. I feel lucky to have had an extra year with him as he’s almost 5, and whilst I know he’ll love school and hopefully thrive socially and academically (and he’s so READY), my heart feels heavy. Xander is still my baby (and no doubt, always will be) and I’ve admittedly babyfied him, too.

That kid is my mini-me, my miniature best friend along with his brother. He’s a complete mummy’s boy (unlike my eldest who is besotted with his Daddy) and literally only stopped crying at nursery drop-off just a few months ago. Really.

I’m incredibly close to my eldest son, Oliver too of course, but he was born mature beyond his years meaning every milestone to-date has been accomplished with ease from nursery and school and even our recent house move, he has great clarity for a 7 year old…He’s often been the one counselling and supporting me! He’s a very special kid and my Mum likes to remind me, he’s similar to me as a child: fearlessly independent, empathetic and confident.

Xander is the bambino though-he seems so little still, with tiny hands and that baby smell of honey which never left him (nor Oliver) but unlike my eldest, he’s incredibly affectionate and loves nothing more than to kiss and cuddle his Mummy. He even brushes my hair at night and often calls me his Majesty and Rapunzel (ha), his eyes full of love for his Mama Queen!

Xander is hilariously funny too and finds it easy to make friends…but whilst he loves the camera (I wonder who he takes after), he has a shy side too so I hope he settles quickly…

Alexander is the kind of kid who’ll always want to be close to his folks (I hope), the one who goes to uni in his hometown, returning to us for Sunday lunch each week, his wash bags in hand. I mean who knows, maybe my kids will want to live abroad, but I’d like them close to us, as all parents do. More than anything, though I want them to follow their hearts and be happy.

I know that process of ‘letting go’ is a life-long one and you’re never ready for your kids to fly the nest (my parents cried when we left Yorkshire for Windsor recently and I too, sobbed like a baby).

Next week is the start of a new chapter for all of us.

Both my children start different schools in our new hometown of Windsor (they didn’t get into the same ones) and it feels rather bitter-sweet, although I know it’s mostly sweet as my baby will start growing and hopefully, flourishing before my eyes (as will his brother in his new environment) and before I know it I’ll have to stop calling him ‘my baby’ and accept he’s growing up. That he can’t be Peter Pan however much I’d like him to be.

I know deep down, he’ll be OK…and so will I.

Have you got a child starting school, too?

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Xander Starts School Next Week: Feeling All the Feels

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8 Responses

  1. Hayley - Downs Side Up

    I hope week one is going well for you all. I can’t believe how Xander has grown, I mean I have known him virtually since being a bump, or at least I think I have.
    Our grls are also at different schools which is tricky but works out OK in the end. Much love Mama H x

    • Honest Mum

      Thank you darling, you have indeed known him from the womb-we have to meet soon Hayley. Windsor I’ve since discovered have junior, middle and high schools so whilst it would make life easier if they attend the same school, it would only be for 2 years xx

  2. Vicky

    Vicky, your spot brought a tear to my eye. What sweet children you have. My little one is 21 months old now and I can’t even imagine her going to big girl school yet. xx

  3. Susie / So Happy In Town

    Such a lovely post Vicki. Must be doubly bittersweet for you with Xander being your baby and obviously so close to you, and both boys starting new schools. New chapters all round and I’m sure you’re all anxious – I’m thinking of you all. Xx

  4. Susan Mann

    Such a lovely post and one close to my heart as my baby started a few weeks ago. They will settle in soon and it’s exciting to see them on the next journey. hugs xx

  5. Lizzie

    Katie starts tomorrow in the afternoon as they’re staggering half days for two weeks! Feels very strange her going tomorrow and I feel such a range of emotions. She’s in the most part a happy girl and she has whingey tendencies too so hopeful school will knock that on the head as I haven’t been able to. She’ll make a ton of friends and be fine but she’s also my baby and feeling apprehension I think. She’s fortunate to be going with her two best friends in the world. Sorry to hear you didn’t get the same school, two school runs eesh I hope it goes well. Thinking of you and Xander!! Xx

  6. Katie

    Hi Vicki, I hope both of your boys settle in well to their new schools. My eldest is starting school on Tuesday, he is so ready for it however I’m not sure I am, I don’t think it had fully hit me until tonight when it dawned on me that I won’t know everything he has eaten each day – I know that may sound silly but when I picked him up from nursery they’d go through in detail what they had had, and now I really feel like I’m letting him go that bit more you know, it’ll be up to him what he chooses for his school dinner and if he tells me, when I was a child my answer would often be “I can’t remember”. It’s such a mixture of emotions isn’t it, I’m excited for him but I can’t help but feel sad that my baby boy is growing up! Xo

  7. Ellie

    What an absolutely beautiful post. I also have my ‘baby’ boy starting school next week. Happiness, tinged with a little sadness at the passing of time x


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