Wonderful Women Interview with Love Coach, Life Therapist & Author, Ar’nie Krogh
With 20 years experience, Ar’nie Krogh is an internationally renowned Love Coach and Life Therapist.
She began her career in Singapore using a unique holistic health and physical approach.
Ar’nie helps couples from different cultural backgrounds make positive changes in their lives. Raised in a mixed cultural family and having lived in numerous countries, as well as being in an interracial marriage, Ar’nie uses her invaluable experience consulting for interracial, intercultural, interfaith and inter-nationalities for both couples and families to help others.
In spring 2017, Ar’nie released her debut book The Architect of Love, for anyone wanting to find their soul mate or maintain a healthy and long lasting relationship whatever their faith, sexual orientation or background.
Ar’nie resides in London with her husband and children. She regularly speaks at conferences and is passionate about supporting other working mums.
Describe a typical day for you?
It can be quite varied but I am always busy and on the go! My 3 youngest kids are home-educated so my time is dedicated to them in the mornings. When they are playing in the afternoon, I focus on my work. Before my book The Architect of Love was published, my time would be spent researching for it. Now that the book is released, I am focusing more on my work as a coach and therapist.
In the evening, I may squeeze in a little housework before preparing dinner. After the kids are in bed, my husband and I spend some quality time together and I often need write my current book or blog until 2 or 3 am.
When I have meetings or networking events, our babysitter looks after the kids. There is a lot of balancing in one day!
What do you feel are your biggest achievements?
To choose one would be difficult- haha! I celebrate many things in my life as it constantly makes me feel grateful. The most recent achievement would be sharing my message of love in my book. Of course another achievement is being a mum to four wonderful children, which goes without saying. When it came to my youngest daughter, I was clear about wanting a natural water birth despite a 4-day tough labour with two inductions. With that pregnancy, I battled prenatal depression (her chances of surviving were only 20%), mild rickets (severe Vitamin D deficiency) all while battling hypothyroidism (I had to have them removed due to a cancer-scare). So giving birth to my daughter and watching her grow, is indeed a huge achievement.
What’s in your handbag/ satchel?
All sorts! My large wallet (recently downsized to just a small satchel due to festivals) which contain a collection of different currencies, (you know just in case I fly off within the hour!) and lots of passport photos of my kids. A large power bank with the all-important iPhone cable (I am a heavy social media user plus my phone is like my mini laptop as I do lots of work on it), a small pouch for powder and lipstick and nail file, my BOSE over ears headphones, a copy of my book in a bubble wrap envelope, a copy of whichever book I’m reading at that moment plus my business cards and lots of receipts!
What are your ambitions in life?
I believe in the power of visualisation. I used to act back home in Singapore and my ambition was to be on TV or in movies. As I’ve grown up, I’ve realised I really love helping others, and as I have expanded my training, I’m able to do just that. I would love to continue to be seen as a figure head for people whom are facing love-related or relationship issues. The ultimate dream would to be on TV as an agony aunt.
What do you wish you’d known at the start of your career you now know?
I wish I’d known just how amazing the support of new friends can be, and not to underestimate how much of an impact they can have on your life. Being a nomadic life coach wasn’t the career I initially envisioned but I have absolutely loved every step of my journey. In Singapore, I had a thriving dance business before my other-half and I decided to leave the shores for the UK in early 2004. I was worried about setting up my own business in a completely new country but the friends I have made and the support I’ve received from my family and friends has been overwhelming, particularly in the mummy blogging community where I’ve met many wonderful people who have endlessly supported me.
Where do you see yourself in 5 years’ time?
I envision being a renowned international speaker and consultant in emotional intelligence, love and communication. I would be completing my 3rd book or at least, working on it. I want to keep meeting lots of incredible people around the world and changing many more lives.
What advice would you give a budding author?
Stay focused on the end goal and don’t let anyone take your confidence away. If you are serious, hire a life coach or a writing coach to keep you accountable and to have a cheerleader in your corner. My strategy was to write the book in 10 months, and to help me with that process, I hired a specialist book coach-editor who was able to ask the tough questions and work through my thoughts with me. Another tip would be to join a writing group. You’ll meet other writing enthusiasts who will motivate you and give constructive criticism where needed. Be prepared for rejection, but always pick yourself back up.
What do you wish you’d known about motherhood before having kids?
I think I was quite well prepared for motherhood, except for breastfeeding (which was more painful than I’d expected in the early days). Most of my maternal experience derived from being a-hands-on auntie. Being raised in South East Asia, it’s common to be raised in a communal home where everyone helps out. I had helped babysit my first ‘baby’ (my niece) when I was just 8 years old. When I was 11, my mum had another baby with her second husband and I was like the child’s second-mum. I am now making my eldest daughter repeat that experience by making sure she is hands-on with her younger siblings (she learnt to change her little sister’s nappies at six years old). I want to make sure that when she’s thinking of being a mother, she can draw on all of these experiences like I did, and know for sure that she’s making the right choice.
Finally, happiness is…
Waking up healthy every day and turning over to see my husband, my soul mate, snoring lightly next to me. It’s also having my kids tumble into our bed and kissing us good morning and saying. “I love you Mummy!”. Happiness is feeling grateful for the simple things in life whilst remaining in awe at the amazing nature we encounter every day. It’s seeing a smile on a random stranger’s face because they were returning yours. Happiness is sharing kindness.