What springs to mind when you think about your kids’ swimming lessons? For me, it’s weekly torture if I’m honest, something I’d love to forgo yet find myself back by the pool, flashing a big grin and pretending I’m not dying inside, because my kids enjoy them so much.

Yes, it’s wonderful to witness my kids learn (and improve on) the life-saving skill that is swimming with their WHOLE 29 minutes in the pool each week (we’re always a ruddy minute late) but I age 10 years each week (I’m 85 now) as I try not to melt/faint in a 100 degree heat (why oh why does the pool room-is that EVEN a word? need to be so hot?) while encouraging the kids with waves and smiles during the lesson (‘Did you see that dive, Mum?’ ‘Yes son, in between trying not to collapse from heat exhaustion, well done’).

And don’t get me started on the pre-and post swim prep that goes on for those blink and you miss them 29 minutes as I wrestle the kids in and out of uniform/ trunks, helping them to pull on the ‘always too small’ swimming caps, useless ear plugs, too tight/too loose goggles and salvage that rogue sock that always makes its escape to the pool. FFS. And there’s more. The feeding required before and after the lesson as the sprogs are always hungry after school and starving after swimming which to be fair is the hungry-maker of all sports, and let’s not forget my very unlike Mary Berry, soggy bottom from sitting on a random chair/ bench due to the dizziness of standing in that heat (I impressively managed to soak through my boots last week, too despite those shiny blue shoe covers) and to top it all off, there’s the walk home that makes me feel I’ve completed a marathon by the time I’ve reached the finish line aka a glass of wine back home where I’m ready for bed when the kids sleep.

Every bloody week, I promise myself it will be the last. That I’ll enrol the kids into a swimming fast track style course in the summer (I don’t even know if one exists) as both can swim but a crash course would mean we never have to endure weekly lessons again, but I never quite muster the guts to go for it, to give that month’s notice to the pool and reclaim my Wednesday evenings.

It seems I’m not alone in my hate for the lessons either.

And, I mean hate. Just look at the latest FB thread on my Honest Mum page (go give it a like while you’re there, might as well :)) on the matter.

I’m tired, and swimming lessons have a lot to answer for.

Are you?

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5 Responses

  1. Anderson Ma

    Lol. i agree with you on the climate control. It does get damn hot in there. Sometimes i dont feel like standing in there to see him swim coz of the heat. Woow

  2. MaleSensePro

    I also believe that kids should be enrolled in crash courses for learning and enhancing their swimming skills weekly swimming is good for fun but its exhausted!

  3. Jacqui Paterson

    Don’t forget the stingy eyes and the drowsiness from the chlorine, the headache from the stuffy heat and all the kids’ squealing, the pants that won’t go back on afterwards because the kids’ skin is too damp, and trying to get them home with wet hair before they catch pnuemonia… I was sooooooooooooooo glad when we finished with our lessons!

  4. Sophie Holmes

    I’ve stopped taking mine once Matthew learnt to swim. The worst part for me is getting them dried and dressed after the lesson. My youngest son Edward hasn’t even had a swimming lesson because he’ll need a one to one as he’s got special needs and I just never got round to arranging it.

  5. Elaine @ Entertaining Elliot

    I absolutely hate swimming lessons!! My son (6) used to swim at a local sports centre first thing on a saturday morning so we were always always rushing to get there for 830am, then the sweat inducing changing rooms that are hotter than hell. Then the 30 minutes sat upstairs in the cafe watching him in the pool whilst trying to entertain the toddler. Well I say “in the pool” but there were so many kids in his lessons that by the time the teacher had taken a child into the water etc, he spent more time sat on the side! I used to dread getting summoned down because he needed a poo too!
    We’ve since swapped locations to a private pool and there are 3 kids in his class and it’s great as he gets so much more out of it…but it’s now 6pm on a monday evening which isn’t the best of times! He has his tea before hand but more often than not I’m running late so hes still eating at gone 5pm and I worry about him getting cramp or whatever else eating too close to swimming does. We then have to sit by the side of the pool in heat hotter than the suns core and I try and stop the toddler from jumping in/throwing the ipad in! I come out looking like I’ve run a marathon!


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