The 15 year old fan girl in me would have LOVED to see Victoria Beckham/Posh (my fave) join the rest of the Spice Girls zigazig ah-ing around the country on tour next year but the almost 38 year old adult me is slow clapping that she isn’t. I fully support that Victoria has declined going on tour and hasn’t buckled under the frankly manipulative antics of Mel B in particular, who spoke publicly about her former bandmate’s doubts and even donned a Halloween costume dressed as her brandishing a sign stating, ‘No I won’t go on tour’ with her friend posing as David with his own sign pleading that she, ‘does it for the fans’. Oh please.
Why should Victoria a) sing- something she clearly doesn’t enjoy and b) feel pushed into re-enacting an era/identity she’s clearly outgrown. Hats off to her for knowing who she is, what she likes and not feeling pushed by the carrot of more money, fame and applause or ‘doing it for the fans’ and people-pleasing. She’s trusting her gut and doing what’s right for her and we could all learn a lot from it.
I certainly feel inspired.
After feeling burnt out with PMT, anaemia and frankly feeling spread as thinly as vegan butter lately, TRYING and mostly FAILING to please everyone all of the time, I need to take a leaf out of VB’s book and say ‘no’ more often.
The mental and physical load of juggling family, work, school diary dates and every other commitment under the sun (even remembering everyone else’s birthday never mind my own in 2 weeks) has tipped me over the edge and made me want to cry. In fact, I have cried. I’ve cried the whole River Thames to be precise. Literally. Justin Timberlake would be impressed.
I sat by the riverbank today and let my tears fall. Perhaps I should have made a wish. A wish to stop stretching myself to breaking point. A wish to commit to being kinder to myself. I have this goal under control for several months then boom, a full moon (really), time of the month or too many commitments knocks me off track.
It’s self-inflicted to some extent. I want to befriend and help the world. I over-promise, over-deliver, over-compensate, and then overwhelm myself.
I’ve taken action though.
I’ve readdressed my schedule and prioritised my workload. I’ve said ‘no’ to the 2763486796404704 requests I wish I could say yes to but can’t and I’ve dug deep, cried about the trauma of this last year and more: loss, grief, a big op, I’ve hugged my husband, taken deep breaths, spoken to friends and I’m ready to heal again. To take on tomorrow. To realign and remind myself of know who I am and where I’m going.
A bit like Posh who isn’t even known as Posh anymore. And, that’s exactly the point.
Hats off to you Victoria Beckham from a fan you’ve definitely not disappointed.