Vicki Psarias

We all suffer from crippling self-doubt at times, second-guessing the shizz out of ourselves, comparing our style, opinions and lives to others mostly online, often feeling lacking in some way, that we’re not pretty/slim/curvy/smart/successful enough.

I feel it, you feel it, we all frustratingly feel it, but we need to shake it off Taylor Swift style and remind ourselves that our superpower is our individuality. We are strong because we’re unique, and each of our voices and stories matters. There’s no one else like us on the planet (imagine that for a moment), we’re flipping fly, just the way we are, and it’s not wrong to keep telling ourselves this until we believe it!

Straight up, that elusive thing we convince ourselves we need to search for, that magic touch or special USP, is actually within us all, it’s in our DNA, our every experience to date, our education, perspective, in the food we make, the relationships we nature, how we raise our kids, the way we move, and communicate.  It’s right there within you, you just work on your confidence so you can unleash the real you in everything you do and once you do that, everything fits into place, I promise.

Of course, I know first-hand how hard it is to put yourself out there day after day (we’re all on social media doing just that, bloggers or not), to keep sharing our lives, our truth, our personality and quirks, our lives for all to see, we’re laying ourselves bare to the judged, criticised and in some cases, abused.

The upside outweighs that all, of course, it does, but sometimes when insults are flung, it’s can be difficult to distinguish the truth from the trolling, (am I right?) because we’re all wandering around wondering (yep the double wonder) whether we’re real life dingbats (true story), meaning unkind comments can serve to validate our fears, making us believe we’re less than, not worthy and completely crap, breaking our stride, damaging our confidence and stopping us from producing art.

SO STOP!  When others, or indeed our inner critics get to work, we must STOP and breathe than find the strength to channel Mr Ice Cube and, ‘check ourselves before we wreck ourselves’, remembering who we are and what our purpose is.

We must know ourselves first, in order to differentiate between fact and fiction when it comes to online editorial commentary. We have to acknowledge the real us, the good with the bad, to keep our moral and confidence compass on track, to help us to spot the difference between sense, and nonsense and to trust our gut.  For that visceral instinct will never fail us.

I receive emails from other women mostly, feeling fraught by comments made about their lives and choices online, talented people who are so hurt they abandon dreams because the words of strangers have cut deep.

This post is for them, for you, and for me too. We must keep being ourselves, not worrying about the impossible: pleasing everyone and we must unflinchingly, carry on.   Innovate don’t replicate and keep getting your art out into the world.  take note of the positive and stop focusing on the bad. Remind yourself why you do what you do. Keep your purpose at the forefront of your mind. Know that every artist has a different brush stroke or screenwriting voice and signature style.. It will see you through the turbulent times.

Innovate don’t replicate and don’t stop getting your art out into the world.  Take note of the positive and stop focusing on the bad. Listen to those you trust. Their honesty will help empower you. Remind yourself why you do what you do. Keep your purpose at the forefront of your mind. It will see you through the turbulent times.

Stop worrying about what others are doing, and focus on yourself.  What you want to do and achieve. The things that inspire you and wrap yourself up in them, feel the sun on your face and create.

The only race you’re in, is in your head. You have all the time in the world

So, ride the waves of self-doubt, the limiting imposter syndrome, safe in the knowledge that this feeling too shall pass, that the power is within you to retrain your brain, to unleash your potential to achieve whatever you set your mind to and will work your booty off for.

Remove those whose aim it is to pull you down due to their own insecurities and channel negative energy into positive productivity.

You are the superhero in your own narrative, now recognise it, own it and flourish because of it.


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Why Being Yourself Is Your Superpower! - Honest Mum


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32 Responses

  1. Jo - Cup of Toast

    Inspiring post! I didn’t really believe in myself until I was in my 30s, and even now I still have plenty of wobbles. I’m going to think of Ice Cube instead now, that made me chuckle 🙂

  2. Rachel

    Wow this is such powerful amazing encouraging writing.. I’m bookmarking this to read back when I’m feeling low. You are right on every level and i think the more we all talk about it, the more we will all embrace our fantastic selves and be happy with who we are! Wonderful piece Vicki.. can’t wait to read more empowering words from you x x x x

    • Honest Mum

      Aw thanks Rachel, that means a lot. It’s vital to keep reminding ourselves that we are strong in our uniqueness xx

  3. Tooting Mama

    I love the idea of a confidence compass. And I take comfort in the fact that Maya Angelou suffers from Imposter Syndrome.

    ” I have written 11 books but each time I think ‘Uh-oh, they’re going to find out now,'” the novelist Maya Angelou once said. “I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.”

    We’re in good company!

    I try and swat these thoughts out of my head, but sometimes that niggling little voice is too great and cripples my confidence.

    But tomorrow’s another day, another day to shine! #brillblogposts

    • Honest Mum

      So true, Maya Angelou is a hero and she doubted herself, did you see my post on the imposter syndrome, I read an except on Sky News too: We really need to combat it. Thanks for your super comment!

      • Tooting Mama

        It’s hard to believe so many amazing women feel like this.

        Sometimes it’s a comfort – I’m not alone feeling like this.

        Other times its WFT seriously – we know are s**t, we need to kick some as*s and get out there and show the world how amazing we are!

  4. Mrs Mummy Harris

    I always used to worry about being liked by people and only did things that would get me praise by my “friends” i then realised that I should be making me happy and that those “friends” would only be my friends if they knew the real me and if they didnt stick around then they werent my true friends! #brilliantblogposts

  5. Lisa Pomerantz

    I was in my 30’s before I had a voice. Now you cannot shut me up. Thankfully, I am respectful. 🙂 Great post. Enjoy your fabulous trip. Love your superhero and I’ll love mine. Heck, I might get a cape too! <3 #Brillblogposts

  6. Susie / S.H.I.T.

    Love the idea that we all have a superpower and it is being ourselves, and following what we want to do with our lives, not caring about what others think. I am forever telling my kids this, but often find myself doubting myself. But you are so right, it’s so important to love ourselves and keep true to ourselves. It’s how I want my kids to live and it’s how I want to live to. Inspiring as ever xx #brillblogposts

    • Honest Mum

      Yes to that and thank you lovely, we need to constantly remind ourselves what we tell our children. Taking our own advice is hard but the more we do, the easier it becomes our default xx

  7. Rebecca

    I think after having my little man I definitely embraced ME a lot more and I am so much more confident in myself and who I am <3 #brilliantblogposts

  8. Alana - Burnished Chaos

    Brilliant post. I’m always telling my son that everyone in this world is different and that’s what makes it a beautiful place, how boring would it be if everyone was the same? I tell him there is no one else like him in this whole world, we are each of us unique, so it’s important to be yourself. Sometimes it’s easier said than done, but these are the times it’s even more important to remember x

  9. Sarah

    Love this post, it is so true. We are all far to critical on ourselves. It’s so important to get our children to know how wonderful they are. My Son is the worst at sport in his class, so he gets picked on regularly by the other boys….. it’s awful. However he is the best in other things, like reading, he is normally found with his head in book. People think he’s odd… we say he’s perfect. I try to encourage him to be who he wants to be not follow the crowd.

    • Honest Mum

      That’s not odd that’s amazing, my eldest is so creative and adores writing stories. I hate the pressure kids are under. I hope the teacher can stop those kids from being mean to your son, go in and speak to her/him if you haven’t already xx

  10. Caroline

    Yes, absolutely – you do you! I always say to my son, it’s OK to be different and it’s OK to be yourself. #brilliantblogposts

  11. Joana at Mind The Mummy

    Amen, Vicki! I think need to read this post every day to shake off the nagging self doubt and armour myself against negativity. Such an important message to keep driving home. It is good to second guess yourself somewhat, to keep asking questions and to not believe your own hype to the point of deafness and impermeability to criticism BUT this should only serve to allow you to grow, not shrivel up and feel paralyzed. Believe in yourself, open your mind, listen to others so you can take their message on board if it helps you expand your horizons but equally shut down the voices that are only putting you down for the sheer hell of it. #brilliantblogposts

    • Honest Mum

      Absolutely this Joana, it’s all about growth and people being honest and real with you but as you say, equally important to question who is giving the feedback and if it’s from someone you trust. Love this comment, so wise x

  12. Eb Gargano /

    Great post, Vicki – so inspiring! It is so easy to be molded by what others think about you, isn’t it? It’s tough, but ultimately the right thing to pursue what you believe to be the right path, despite what others may say… I have made so many terrible decisions in the past, made because of what others think of me…or worse still what I think they might be thinking!! But one size most certainly does not fit all, and as you so rightly say we are all unique and have our own USPs…and we must be ourselves – we literally can’t be anyone else!! And if we try to be we will be unhappy. I have encountered some interesting reactions since starting blogging – lots of positive ones of course, but some quite negative and some just totally don’t get it! But I am utterly convinced that this is what I should be doing right now…and this time I am absolutely focused – I will do this, no matter what people think of me…good or bad!! And in the spirit of being positive…just wanted to say thanks for all your beautiful, positive and inspiring posts. You always seem to have a knack of getting right to the nub of things 🙂 Have a fab Easter, sweetie – hope you get some time off!! Eb x

    • Honest Mum

      Oh what a compliment, thank you so much. I adore your blog and yes to following and doing what feels right. You must always be led by your passion and your gut. Thank you for this and Happy Easter darling, just back from the most relaxing holiday xx

  13. Coral- Way Too Much Luggage

    A really important message to pass on, I hope that my children realise this and believe me when I say it to them! We are so hard on ourselves and constantly trying to live up to being who we think we should be. Being yourself is enough and we have to be confident about that #brilliantblogpost

    • Honest Mum

      Absolutely, we must to be kind to ourselves, always, we owe it to ourselves and our kids who are always watching and listening xx


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