We all suffer from crippling self-doubt at times, second-guessing the shizz out of ourselves, comparing our style, opinions and lives to others mostly online, often feeling lacking in some way, that we’re not pretty/slim/curvy/smart/successful enough.
I feel it, you feel it, we all frustratingly feel it, but we need to shake it off Taylor Swift style and remind ourselves that our superpower is our individuality. We are strong because we’re unique, and each of our voices and stories matters. There’s no one else like us on the planet (imagine that for a moment), we’re flipping fly, just the way we are, and it’s not wrong to keep telling ourselves this until we believe it!
Straight up, that elusive thing we convince ourselves we need to search for, that magic touch or special USP, is actually within us all, it’s in our DNA, our every experience to date, our education, perspective, in the food we make, the relationships we nature, how we raise our kids, the way we move, and communicate. It’s right there within you, you just work on your confidence so you can unleash the real you in everything you do and once you do that, everything fits into place, I promise.
Of course, I know first-hand how hard it is to put yourself out there day after day (we’re all on social media doing just that, bloggers or not), to keep sharing our lives, our truth, our personality and quirks, our lives for all to see, we’re laying ourselves bare to the judged, criticised and in some cases, abused.
The upside outweighs that all, of course, it does, but sometimes when insults are flung, it’s can be difficult to distinguish the truth from the trolling, (am I right?) because we’re all wandering around wondering (yep the double wonder) whether we’re real life dingbats (true story), meaning unkind comments can serve to validate our fears, making us believe we’re less than, not worthy and completely crap, breaking our stride, damaging our confidence and stopping us from producing art.
SO STOP! When others, or indeed our inner critics get to work, we must STOP and breathe than find the strength to channel Mr Ice Cube and, ‘check ourselves before we wreck ourselves’, remembering who we are and what our purpose is.
We must know ourselves first, in order to differentiate between fact and fiction when it comes to online editorial commentary. We have to acknowledge the real us, the good with the bad, to keep our moral and confidence compass on track, to help us to spot the difference between sense, and nonsense and to trust our gut. For that visceral instinct will never fail us.
I receive emails from other women mostly, feeling fraught by comments made about their lives and choices online, talented people who are so hurt they abandon dreams because the words of strangers have cut deep.
This post is for them, for you, and for me too. We must keep being ourselves, not worrying about the impossible: pleasing everyone and we must unflinchingly, carry on. Innovate don’t replicate and keep getting your art out into the world. take note of the positive and stop focusing on the bad. Remind yourself why you do what you do. Keep your purpose at the forefront of your mind. Know that every artist has a different brush stroke or screenwriting voice and signature style.. It will see you through the turbulent times.
Innovate don’t replicate and don’t stop getting your art out into the world. Take note of the positive and stop focusing on the bad. Listen to those you trust. Their honesty will help empower you. Remind yourself why you do what you do. Keep your purpose at the forefront of your mind. It will see you through the turbulent times.
Stop worrying about what others are doing, and focus on yourself. What you want to do and achieve. The things that inspire you and wrap yourself up in them, feel the sun on your face and create.
The only race you’re in, is in your head. You have all the time in the world
So, ride the waves of self-doubt, the limiting imposter syndrome, safe in the knowledge that this feeling too shall pass, that the power is within you to retrain your brain, to unleash your potential to achieve whatever you set your mind to and will work your booty off for.
Remove those whose aim it is to pull you down due to their own insecurities and channel negative energy into positive productivity.
You are the superhero in your own narrative, now recognise it, own it and flourish because of it.
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Mumboss: The Honest Mum's Guide to Surviving and Thriving at Work and at Home (UK 2nd Edition)