I’ve weirdly gotten used to trolls on my blog and social media, and believe me, writing that sentence saddens me because for the most part, I receive the most touching messages and comments from readers and social media followers. Most come from women who often share that following my work has helped them grow in confidence, start businesses and ultimately feel stronger than before be it issues on body-image or raising their babies whilst working. Those messages keep me going. It’s what drives me. The thought that my work serves a purpose and helps others is my mission here.
To help create a wave of mumbosses.
As my profile has grown, so inevitably has the volume of trolling I receive. I understand that as a public-facing blogger and vlogger, it is sadly inescapable yet doesn’t make it right or easy to deal with. I also receive a high volume of vile porn: imagery, requests to collab with porn stars (that will be a no) and graphic messages. Whilst I can report and block, it feels endless and is distressing.
As a creative, I’m naturally sensitive anyway, and keyboard warriors sharing their editorial opinions on everything from my body shape to how my kids look can be upsetting, especially if I’m having a tough time in real life with close relatives being very unwell or family stress.
So much of it is futile too, I can’t get my head around those who don’t think before they speak/tweet.
As my mum taught me as a child, ‘If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all’. My own children follow this with ease at 7 and 4.
Sadly, grown adults seem to have missed that memo or forgotten it. They appear to think their subjective opinion matters. Whether someone likes or dislikes my body/work/lifestyle/values makes no REAL difference to the facts of the situation, who I am, or how I personally view myself. Words might hurt momentarily but luckily I’m a strong ‘lass’ and continue to live my life my way, surrounded by those I love and respect.
The trolls don’t win. They don’t kill my passion, drive or productivity and nor should they yours either.
The greatest lesson I’ve learnt as a blogger is to NOT BELIEVE THE HYPE OR THE CRITICISM. Of course, it’s vital I take note of positive criticism in order to grow and evolve but I don’t seek or need validation from those who don’t know me. From people I don’t trust.
I’m lucky to have close friends, a husband, manager and folks who are always honest and true with me. They are my quality and moral compasses when I need guidance most and I value them endlessly.
My view on the trolls and porn spam. Block, report, ignore. By rising above the shizz, I set an example. Something my kids depend on.
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Mumboss: The Honest Mum's Guide to Surviving and Thriving at Work and at Home (UK 2nd Edition)