Me, when I was pregnant.
Purleese people on the street, take note of the below. Don’t say it. Don’t even think it. And in case you were about to, keep your mouth shut.
Things you should JUST never say to someone up the duff-
1. Are you pregnant?
Because you know, she might have just had a big lunch (bread babies are not real people), she might not be able to get pregnant, want to be pregnant, heck even know she’s pregnant, or you know, quite simply might NOT be pregnant. Got it?
2. Is it twins?
Say what? It might well be, but with only 1.5% of births being twins the odds are against you amigo. Bumps come in all shapes and sizes and tend to be big, you know hence the fact a baby (or 2) are growing in there, and it’s erm, a bump. Why ask, why potentially offend? Not that there’s anything wrong with twins or twiplets just don’t enquire, OK?
3. You’re small/big to be pregnant.
Yes my bump is public property, how could I forget? Please do pass on your editorial comments on how big I should be/am. Oh yes and why not have a feel too seniors it’s out there as we’ve only just met.
4.You must be due soon?
Who are you, my gynecologist? How would you know? Even women who look to the untrained (or even trained eye) that they’re due soon, may well have MOONTHS to go.
5. So you’re having a baby. Good luck with the sleepless nights.
Yep we got that memo. We’re anticipating the worst. Oh yes, thanks, I’ll try and sleep now, it’s just being pregnant and getting sleep isn’t compatible. Thanks though.
When you see a lady with a newborn baby, best not ask if she’s pregnant again. The likelihood is she’s not. Pregnancy weight takes time my friend. Like 6 years time.
What else should be on the list?