bump

Me, when I was pregnant.

Purleese people on the street, take note of the below. Don’t say it. Don’t even think it. And in case you were about to, keep your mouth shut.

Things you should JUST never say to someone up the duff-

1. Are you pregnant?

Because you know, she might have just had a big lunch (bread babies are not real people), she might not be able to get pregnant, want to be pregnant, heck even know she’s pregnant, or you know, quite simply might NOT be pregnant. Got it?

2. Is it twins?

Say what? It might well be, but with only 1.5% of births being twins the odds are against you amigo. Bumps come in all shapes and sizes and tend to be big, you know hence the fact a baby (or 2) are growing in there, and it’s erm, a bump. Why ask, why potentially offend? Not that there’s anything wrong with twins or twiplets just don’t enquire, OK?

3. You’re small/big to be pregnant.

Yes my bump is public property, how could I forget? Please do pass on your editorial comments on how big I should be/am. Oh yes and why not have a feel too seniors it’s out there as we’ve only just met.

4.You must be due soon?

Who are you, my gynecologist? How would you know? Even women who look to the untrained (or even trained eye) that they’re due soon, may well have MOONTHS to go.

5. So you’re having a baby. Good luck with the sleepless nights.

Yep we got that memo. We’re anticipating the worst. Oh yes, thanks, I’ll try and sleep now, it’s just being pregnant and getting sleep isn’t compatible. Thanks though.

Bonus advice:

When you see a lady with a newborn baby, best not ask if she’s pregnant again. The likelihood is she’s not. Pregnancy weight takes time my friend. Like 6 years time.

You’re welcome.

What else should be on the list?

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19 Responses

  1. Helen Reid

    I can remember leaving my baby at home with hubby to pop out. It was the first time since the birth & a lady I knew asked me had I had the baby or is it still in there, while prodding my stomach. I know I had a tummy but really xx

    Reply
  2. Katie Haydock

    I work in a mainly male dominated environment, and I have a few to add:
    1. Every time I go to up to go the loo / printer / kitchen (to make a decaf cuppa) I got comments about how I was ‘fridge picking’ again. I found this hugely insensitive since I actually LOST weight in the first 20 weeks of my pregnancy due to morning sickness.
    2. When using a communal kitchen at work, please refrain from heating up your kippers in the micro for all to smell…
    3. Sometimes comments like ‘I’ll bet you’re sick of being the size of a house now’ in someones good luck card is inappropriate!

    Reply
    • honestmum

      That’s awful Katie, I hate how people feel being pregnant is public property for all. I’m sorry about your morning sickness and how insensitive of your colleagues on the comments and selfish kipper cooking and wow what a thing to write in a good luck card! Urgh!

      Reply
  3. Hussy London Housewife

    Your NB is the best one !
    Last year, I had a bloated tummy and was having a cigarette in front of a pub.
    I was told off by a passing guy for smoking whilst being pregnant LOL.
    That was my b’day, I wasn’t pregnant nor intending to be in the short time and really started the evening in a great mood …

    Reply
  4. Franki

    I got used to the ‘wow your huge’ comments and they didn’t bother me too much as in my eyes I was supposed to be, I was pregnant. The bump feelers however just pissed me off! When your friends wait to be asked or ask permission to touch the bump then strangers should too! Also people who pass judgement on what you may call your child, they asked you, you didn’t ask for their opinion! Arrggh! Xx

    Reply
    • honestmum

      @Franki yes, I blogged about the bump feeling-somehow becoming pregnant or having a baby makes you public property. No one else’s business what you call your child!

      Reply
  5. Luci - mother.wife.me

    Great list. I didn’t fare too badly with stupid comments, but I got so sick of the bump gropers. Isn’t it funny how they are never anyone that you know particularly well!

    Reply
  6. Jo

    Love it when our fellow ladies decide to inform us of everything that went wrong during the birth and how traumatic and painful it was for them. Just what a first time mum wants to hear!!!! And also what is this information intending to gives us? “advice” or panic attacks. Thanks random lady I never asked advice from!!!!
    Xx

    Reply
    • honestmum

      @Jo Oh no, not what you need. I think some people are geniunely trying to help but often best when pregnant to focus on the good stories but be prepared for whatever/wherever the birth takes you! xx

      Reply
  7. I Am Into This

    I think everyone seems to forget that each pregnancy is different and what worked for you, or someone else, or how you looked at that stage in pregnancy might be very different to someone else! Old ladies are the worst, especially with babies! Some used to put their fingers in Zayn’s mouth – complete strangers! I know they mean well, bless them, but some people don’t think x

    Reply
    • honestmum

      @IAmIntoThis such wise words lady and wow, fingers in mouths not ok! Reminded me of a lady trying to bite A’s toes in the supermarket! Give the babies and pregnant ladies space!x

      Reply
  8. Notmyyearoff

    Haha yes!! People seem to lose their senses when they see a potential pregnant lady. Yesterday someone asked me when I was going to have another and not to leave too much of a gap! Grrrrr.

    Reply

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