stylish friends

Here with my great friend Nicci. We met years ago when she cast a drama I was directing.

…………………………………………….

friendsPhoto by Becca Tapert on Unsplash

Let me kick off by stating that I’m so freakin’ lucky to have two handfuls of besties in my life.

I really am fortunate to have the most inspiring, lovable mates in my life.

I look around (OK I scroll my facebook timeline) and find myself genuinely overcome with a warm fuzzy feeling that those in my inner circle are ‘trust-with-your-life’ kind of peeps.

And it’s taken a while to get here, believe me, but that what makes it all the more special, in my book.

Like many, I’ve been hurt in the past by faux friendships/ frenemies yet I’ve so many great pals I’ve literally known forever, or those who I feel I’ve known forever and believe those tougher times simply sort the wheat from the chaff!

And the beautiful thing about life is, you never quite know when a new friendship might blossom.

Take last month when I met up with PR and culinary queen, Lucy for the first time. We were hooking up to chat biz but ended up talking life for hours, just gelling in every way.

I know I’ve made a friend for life in her. How lush it that?!

Lucy Hird

So folks, what I’m trying to say is don’t let bad experiences stop amazing new friendships from forging.

Let your guard down and be open to others because life is all about connecting and sharing. Simples.

I’ve also got a little theory that the friendships which didn’t quite cut the mustard/make the finish line (let me just punch myself in the head for all these corny statements), leave a gorgeous gap to be filled with brilliantly enriching new ones.

You see at the grand old age of 35 (kidding 35 is THE prime, people), I’ve come to realise that not all friendships are built to last a lifetime, and that’s OK.

Chatting to an old friend recently who I’d lost touch with, got me pondering SJP/Carrie style on what exactly makes a friendship ‘real’ and and why some unions go the distance while others fizzle out quicker than cheap Prosecco?

Well frankly, it takes two to tango. Things don’t work out, then you need to look at yourself too.

I’ve walked away from or let friendships dwindle. People inevitably outgrow one another or simply lose touch, more often than not because there isn’t enough of a desire to actually stay in touch or enough common ground to hold them together.

Some friendships are purely convenient for that particular period in your life, inevitably fading as life changes and evolves. Hello big milestones: marriage, babies, moving house/country. And let’s not forget that some friendships just weren’t right for us, from the off.

I LOVE that some of my oldest friends are still my closest. People I have a long and often rather wild history with- those I’ve grown together with, people who’ve seen me at my strongest and my weakest, know my flaws and love me anyway!

I have friends  I’ve known since the child/tween and teenhood years (they’ve seen me when my eyebrow game was at its worst (think Carpet World samples)-and at its best)- and truly feel like family.

best friends

Snow queening it with one of my oldest and closest friends, Carlie.

…Other friendships were cemented at university and despite living in different countries and time passing, they’ve gone the distance….

Here I am flanked (!) by my amazing girls: Amancay, filmmaker and founder of Lady of the World  who encouraged me to start Honest Mum back on maternity leave in 2010, and PR Sharmin who now lives in Amsterdam.

friends-Honest Mum

…Then, there are other strong, sisterly women I’ve met thanks to my online life and now we’re just as tight IRL.

-Here’s a rundown of more women who truly make life meaningful-

My mate Helen from Mummy Mode.

great blogging friends

With my sister from another mister Mirka of All Baby Advice & Fitness 4 Mamas.

Blogger besties-Honest Mum

Here with my girl, expert yogi Zaz and writer at Mama and More.

mates

Below-Mirka and my close mates Uju of Babes About Town and Nomita of Ebabee Likes -women who’ve enriched my life ten fold and whom I love with all my heart.

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Ebabee-Nomita-2-1024x823 (2)

Another great mate who always brings me joy, Michelle!

Michelle-The Joy Chaser

My friend Maria aka my ‘Big Sis’ , the sister I never had- a rock to me and someone I can 100% be myself with. We always have a laugh together and put the world to rights (usually over a lot of Greek food)!

Friends

Actress Harriet Thorpe has become a close friend over the last year, I love her to pieces-she never ceases to inspire or amaze me and I feel lucky we met and bonded. She’s also one of the most hilarious people I know and life without laughter isn’t one worth living!

friends

I also feel so incredibly blessed to have Jessica Huie MBE in my life, a strong, sisterly friend I love collaborating with.

Jessica Huie and Vicki Psarias

Argh, amazing women, all.

But how about the chaps?!

…Male friendships bar one, all frustratingly faded when my ‘boyf’ now husband hit the scene.

I had tons of guy friends at uni but these dwindled down to just one dude: Will: the last man standing: who I’ve blogged about before here.

best friends-Honest Mum

We don’t need to chat or see each other often to know we’ll always be buddies.

I made sure he was fed through uni and loved him like a brother. We’ve got a bond that just won’t break.

Shame the other male friendships didn’t quite work out.

I was the first from my group of guy pals to get married and have kids so I’m not sure they grasped the new me at the time. Our history was pretty much built on set, working in telly and films, then partying in Soho until 4am. I couldn’t be the same carefree friend I once was when Oliver arrived and those friendships proved that when dynamics change, so can ties.

Fast track to today and I have an eclectic mix of mates. Friends I’ve made from freelance jobs I’ve had over the years writing and directing and then, the last 5 spent as a blogger and vlogger.

And let me not forget my number 1, my husband, Peter, my best friend forevs, my life’s big love (insert link to Louboutin homepage, hint hint 😉 ) -and THE Honest Mum, my Mama of course-my blueprint for all the friends which followed!

Honest Mum and husband Peter

..I’ve walked away from many a negative coupling too,finding as I’ve gotten older, my time and energy for those I just don’t click with has diminished.  I’ve never held a grudge, but I know who I am and what feels right so trust my gut when it comes to friendships, knowing when to call it a day.

Which leads me to this test!

THAT WAS A LONG INTRO, SOZ!

But seriously, I’ve received a fair few emails and messages from women recently, concerned about the friendships in their life, mostly negative, so I decided to devise a litmus test of sorts, a way to determine how strong and genuine the bond you have with your pals might be, based on my own experiences and wisdom! Ha! It’s subjective of course, but hope it helps!

THE FRIENDSHIP LITMUS TEST: 10 Ways to Know Your Besties Are Forver. 

Ask yourself-

1. Do they have your back?

Trust is crucial when it comes to all relationships. Can you be certain your friend has got your back. It’s not about who’s real to your face, but who stays real behind your back (wise words found on Pinterest)! What a beaut!

2. Can they be honest with you and vice versa?

Real friends must feel they can be straight with one another. They should tell you when you’re wrong, and you them, and it shouldn’t be a deal breaker. Yes be considerate of others’ feelings but always be genuine too. A real friend will value your honesty.

3. Can you compromise with one another?

No one can get on, all of the time. Compromise is key. You have to make allowances, be open-minded and understand not everyone is the same so practise empathy where possible, trying to see things from other people’s perspectives.

People’s experiences shape them and these will never mirror yours exactly so bear this in mind when difficulties arise.

4. Are they there for the good times and the bad?

Everyone enjoys a party right, but make a note of who sticks around when the going gets tough, the ones who hold your hand and let you lean on them when you need them most. True friends are ones you can rely on, no doubt.

5. Do you have fun together?

I’ve tried to make friendships work with people who just made me feel down in the dumps. Relationships are founded and thrive on chemistry. Not everyone will click, it’s just not possible. Science says so. Probs.

If someone makes you feel bad about yourself or the scales are tipped towards more bad times than good, simply accept they’re just for you and move on.

6. Do you understand one another?

Like any relationship, you have to understand each other’s personalities and values to have a long-lasting friendship. It’s down to empathy and respect.

7. Can you overcome disagreements quickly?

It’s important to fight for a friendship which matters and not allow disagreements which are a natural part of close relationships, to linger.

Make sure you apologise when you mess up, and equally forgive others too.

Don’t forget we’re only human, simply trying our best.

8. Do they like your partner/kids?

Sounds obvious but for a friendship to go the distance, it’s ideal your mates like those close to you and vice versa. Life’s too short for added complications. If they don’t sit them down and work through issues.

9.  Does your friendship feel like a duty?

If so, stop now. You don’t have to be around anyone you don’t want to be.

Start valuing yourself and surrounding yourself with those who bring out the best in you.

10. Are you making memories together?

I bet like me, you have friends you might not see for years yet once you do, it’s as if no time has passed at all. With online life, there’s no excuse not to connect with others so if you or they, don’t bother, assume you’re just not that into one another!

Those you are bothered about though, require some effort on your part. Make time for your mates so they feel cared for and appreciated.

Email, snapchat, dm, face time-connecting with others has never been easier but nothing beats *actually creating memories in person. Nada. Go make a date with your mate!

Also take note, not every friend will be your bestie and that’s OK.

Horses for courses, hey?

I have lots of friends, some I only see occasionally, others I dance the night away when I get to escape (!) some are colleagues I’ve become close to and of course there’s lots I can’t live without!

All are real friendships I love and cherish- but friendship is about need too, the need for fun, support, stimulation and companionship. Just don’t expect every friend to meet ALL of your needs all of the time, nor you, theirs either.

Value each friend for the individual they are and simply try and be the best mate you can be, yourself.

So that’s my thoughts on friendship, I’d love to read yours too.

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87 Responses

  1. Flying solo

    An absolutely brilliant post. Once I reached my 40’s everything changed, things seem to make more sense and I offloaded friendships that didn’t work anymore, no falling out just went my own way, they either didn’t have my back, weren’t there when I needed them, we no longer had things in common or it was just time to call it a day. I look around me and only this morning got quite emotional when one of my boyfriends came over to just give me a cuddle because he thought I needed one, I felt truly blessed that I have got an amazing bunch of friends both male and female who support me, love me, want me to grow and follow my dreams, they lift me up and I do them. They really are the friends that I will have for the rest of my life! I need to do a post about this! Very inspirational post thank you for sharing your thoughts
    Emma xx

    Reply
  2. Mel

    Loved this post. So true, it takes two to build and maintain a friendship and sometimes, friendships simply don’t stand the test of time. You grow apart, your interests are different, you don’t particularly like their family… It’s sad but it’s life, isn’t it? I’m really lucky to have a few amazing friends I know I’ll have forever, no matter what, and seeing them, even if it’s just once a year, is always full of joy, laughter and sometimes tears.

    Reply
  3. Sarah - Arthurwears

    I have found it hard over the years to find female friends who would pass this litmus test for friendships – growing up and whilst at uni I had more male friends than female but like you, this did change when I met my husband and my life went in a new direction. I feel incredibly lucky to have a best friend in my husband, plus 2 amazing sisters and a brother … It can be hard to find others who measure up. I’ve been left disappointed by people in the past who I would have called close friends and I always find it hard when people act or treat others how I would never dream of doing so myself. I can count my true friends on one hand and I’m okay with that – life is too short and time is too precious to waste it on people who aren’t deserving of your time. Having said that, now I’m in a new chapter of my life being a mum, I would love to develop some new close friendships with likeminded people. I think motherhood can sometimes feel very lonely and not to mention exhausting – I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one wishing I had a few more friends sometimes!! #brillblogposts

    Reply
  4. Alex

    After a particularly hard ‘screw over’ by some frenemies recently my dad said to me ‘darling if you get to my age and you can count on one hand the amount of good friends you have, you’re doing well’. And it’s true-we only really need a handful of great friends but I like how you said that even the friends that are just there for certain uses (like letting your hair down or work colegues) they are still friends, just not best friends. A good reminder for me-I think I have an unrealistic goal of making every one my best friend and I need to stop that! Great post!
    Alex recently posted…Park Life – NottinghamMy Profile

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  5. Joanna @mumbalance

    I have moved countries a number of times and I find it difficult to keep in touch long distance. But I do know that there’s a few people in each country that will instantly click with me, as if I never left. It’s a great feeling!
    Becoming a mum also made me a couple new friends. Agreeing on how you raise your children tells you a lot about the believes the other person is holding.
    #brilliantblogposts

    Reply
  6. Plutonium Sox

    What a great post. I really like the bit about people having your back – we’ve had some really difficult times recently and the people I thought would be there have been nowhere to be seen. It makes you reassess what friendship is – it’s fine to have good-time friends, but you need the bad-time friends too, those are the ones that will be there when you really need them.
    Nat.x
    Plutonium Sox recently posted…I don’t agree with your opinionMy Profile

    Reply
  7. Sarah | Digital Motherhood

    Sounds like you have a great group of friends 🙂 I think as you get older your circle of friends naturally gets smaller as everyone has less time for socialising and keeping in touch. It’s definitely quality not quantity though! #BrillBlogPosts

    Reply
  8. Coral

    Ah, this is so refreshing….I’ve seen far too many girls competing with each other, rather than empowering each other. It’s one of the things I’ve loved about the blogging world…lots of girls (and guys) building each other up!x

    Reply
  9. Toni @ Gym Bunny Mummy

    I have that one beautiful friend who I have literally known all my life. Our Nan’s were friends, our mum’s, our auntie’s, then us. That’s some amazing friendship & I know we’ll grow old together as friends too x
    Toni @ Gym Bunny Mummy recently posted…3 BASICS TO BOOST YOUR INSTAGRAMMy Profile

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  10. One Messy Mama

    Oh I definitely have a keeper. Miss them terribly since our move! Can’t wait for that day when I get to give them a cuddle, have long chats and enjoy each other. Thank you for this reminder! #brillblogposts

    Reply
  11. Sunita

    What a beautiful post. All I know is that your lovely timeless friends are always there for you when life throws difficult things at us or when we’re going through a tough time (as we’ve found out recently as the past 6 months have been interesting, that’s for sure). I certainly wouldn’t have been able to get through tougher times without the love and support of my friends. My friends don’t realise how much they inspire me and if it wasn’t for them, I probably wouldn’t be writing a blog! I’m sure your lovely pals will really appreciate the shout-outs in your post Vicki. Looking forward to seeing you talk tomorrow x #brilliantblogposts

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      So true, glad you had the support of great friends, so important to have other to lean on and be there for others too x

      Reply
  12. Suranjita

    What a beautiful post and what an amazing bunch of friends you have! While I was making my to write, I went through each and every comment and I loved reading them all. What blessing to have true friends! Quoting from Winnie the Pooh: Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind.
    “Pooh!” he whispered.
    “Yes, Piglet?”
    “Nothing,” said Piglet, taking Pooh’s paw. “I just wanted to be sure of you.
    I am lucky to have a few friends who just want to make sure.
    Absolutely loved it❤️

    Reply
  13. Mirka @kahanka

    Oh darling, after another really rubbish day reading such an amazing post! So happy to have you in my life, and thank you for being here for me always! Love you and cannot wait to see you on Saturday xxxxx btw love the test!

    Reply
  14. five little doves

    This is such a lovely post, it makes perfect sense and it sounds as though you have such an amazing group of friends. I have always loved the saying, hard times reveals true friends. I have lost many friends over the years when I was going through the hardest of times, and yet those who stuck around and waited for me to come out the other side will be in my life forever. Lovely post, thanks for sharing. #brilliantblogposts

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Aw so true, sorry you too lost friends when you needed them most, it does sort the wheat from the chaff though x

      Reply
  15. Babes about Town

    Aww what a lovely post Vicki and a very wise one too, love the litmus test. Although I’d say the best and realest friendships don’t even need to pass any test, you just click and connect right away and that feeling grows with time. I remember laughing so much the first time we met and also how much we both loved our food (haha) and then being able to share so many of our hopes and dreams behind the scenes, it was clear we were going to be mates for the long haul. I also totally appreciate those friendships you can just pick up wherever you left them, and the various overlapping circles of friends I’ve gained through school days and blogging and motherhood. I’m especially amazed by how close I feel to my blogging sisters such as you. Love you lady xoxo
    Babes about Town recently posted…London Kids Weekend Scoop (June 23-26, 2016)My Profile

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Aw this comment made me emotional, so true, we connected from the off lady and will always be close, I feel so lucky to have you and so many amazing girls in my life, love you too my guru xxx

      Reply
  16. Kate

    This post came at just the right time and it resonated with me so much. I’m 36 and I could relate to how sometimes we fall for false friends and frenemies etc! I was bullied at school by my so called-friends, and so I was a bit of a slow starter at finding my real friendships, and I feel like it has left me with a radar for sometimes picking up the ‘wrong’ friends. A few years back I had a friendship with someone who had anger and lack of apology issues! It took me a while to let go of this friendship, but in her place have arrived so many wonderful friendships, with wise women full of emotional intelligence, This experience helped me grow so much and feel much safer in real friendships. That Litmus test is so important. Real friends are just the best 🙂

    Reply
    • Kate

      Oh forgot the hashtag! #BrilliantBlogPosts
      Kate recently posted…The Hidden Reason Why Toddler Tantrums Are Hard To Handle (And What We Can Do About It)My Profile

      Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Aw Kate sorry you were hurt, I’ve been there myself and you are spot on, it’s a real learning curve, walking away leaves space and energy for new friendships and gives you time for those already in your life that deserve your time. So glad you found great friends x

      Reply
  17. Lou & Abby

    Such an excellent post and so true on so many levels. Some friends you cannot see for an age, then you pick up where you left off as though you have never been apart. Some you put both feet in and give it your all then realise they drain you of energy and that can never be sustainable. My friends make me laugh and cry and listen to me do both and I never ever want to take them for granted. Friendship is something to be nurtured like a plant or a child and in doing so it gives so much back. Here’s to appreciating our friends and thanks so much for writing this brilliant piece!! Lou at http://www.peppermintcove.com

    Reply
  18. Lisa Barrett

    Lovely post Vicki and all I can say is, I’d be lost without my pals, that’s for sure. But as well as loving the relationships I’ve had from the age 4 (!) and the new friends too, I’ve recently been in the sad situation of a friend drifting away… a ‘break up’ of sorts. And that’s something that can be quite difficult to understand. Still, there must be a reason for it and I’m concentrating on my fab relationships and it’s so great to see my girls (22 and 16) have friendships that I just know will last the test of time. #brilliantblogposts

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Aw I’m sorry for what you’re going through, I’ve been there myself and it can be heart-wrenching but know that your time, energy and love can now be directed and valued elsewhere. The blueprint you offer your girls in your relationship with them will set them up for life 🙂

      Reply
  19. Franki ~ Wonderful Chaos

    Agree with all of this and especially the bit about male friends. I used to have tons of them and now I only have a few. Definitely down to dynamic changes and life changing paths yet that has brought some equally awesome ladies into my life so I can’t really complain.

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Fab, is sad not to have more male friends though, lucky to have made men friends thanks to the blogging community too 🙂

      Reply
  20. Morgan Prince

    Fantastic post Vicki! I have few friends in real life but the friends I’ve made online are great. Some I may never meet as they live in other countries but that doesn’t mean the friendships are any less precious. I’ll be at #BML16 on Saturday hoping to meet many of the people I chat to online and forge brand new friendships too. Can’t wait to see you there (and hear your talk!). xxx

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Oh how fab Morgan, so excited to meet you! So true that geography is no longer an issue now thanks to online life, I have close friends dotted around the world but feel connected thanks to twitter and FB xx

      Reply
  21. Shirley Wood

    I have remained friends with so many people through the years but there is one who has always been there. We have been friends for more than 43 years now through good times and bad. I did choose to cut a friend loose some years ago because the relationship wasn’t healthy for me. When I reflect back on that relationship, I realize she was never really a good friend. You have so many excellent points here.
    Shirley Wood recently posted…10 Patriotic Tablescapes and CenterpiecesMy Profile

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    • Honest Mum

      Glad you found the strength to cut off from the negative friendship, it’s so important. Wow 43 years is amazing, so much history xx

      Reply
  22. Lizzie Roles

    Absolutely agree with all of this! Friendship is give and take, honesty and forgiveness, mistakes and makeup’s, such a rich relationship that I believe can only be sustained by face to face contact if only on occasion. Totally agree that we can’t expect everything from one person. I go by the mantra *good vibes only* and I guess that’s my gut telling me what’s really going on, like you were saying with your gut. Friendships shift and change I guess, but that inner circle will always be precious and generally I think this comes with time and going through life’s rough and smooth together. You have some amazing people around you V, you’ve worked it all out a lot sooner than most, wise girl. Lizzie xo
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  23. themotherhubblog

    I was just talking to (ok tweeting to) someone about this the other day. It can be hard to accept but some friendships are just about a certain time and place. its sad, but doesnt necessarily diminish their importance to your life. All part of the rich tapestry. #brilliantblogposts

    Reply
  24. Eb Gargano

    Fab post Vicki – you are a lucky lady to have so many amazing friends. So agree with point number 4 – the test of true friendship is if a friend is there for you in the bad times as well as the good! Eb x
    Eb Gargano recently posted…Indian Spiced Cauliflower RiceMy Profile

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Thank you, I do feel very lucky and that’s so true, it’s easy to be there for the party but true friendship is about being there for the tough times too x

      Reply
  25. Mama and More aka Zaz

    Love love love this post! There is nothing like the support and generosity of true friends, whether your circle is wide or small, it is always tightly knit. My favourite point from this post came right at the beginning – that when some people leave your life, they leave a gap to be filled with more meaningful and wonderful relationships. It’s so easy to wallow in the loss of a relationship, especially a friendship, yet by seeing it as a necessary cleansing and an opportunity to learn about yourself and to allow yourself to be open to the new, it turns it into a positive experience. Beautiful. Honoured to be included darling, thankyou for your friendship sweet girl ???

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Aw thank you Zaz for your wisdom and friendship, so, so lucky to have you in my life. Hope to squeeze you soon xx

      Reply
  26. becca farrelly

    A lovely post and so true! I have always struggled with friendships and so now don’t have many which is sad. As I approach 30, I would have loved to have small close-knit circle of friends but through a combination of moving a few times, being in a different life ‘place’ to them and then finding out some weren’t as good I thought they were, I now find myself with only 1 close friend and a couple of other friends I have met along the way. Of course I have my partner who was actually my friend 15years ago but sometimes you just need a girly friend to go for cocktails with! 🙂

    #Brillblogposts

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Aw it’s quality not quantity and it sounds like you have some amazing friends in your life. It is sad when you discover you don’t click with friends like you once did, but that’s life -and yes to cocktails with a girly friend x

      Reply
  27. Leigh - Headspace Perspective

    What a lovely post! Definitely agree with your points. I think as I get older (nearly 39 wow!!!) I realise quality is way better than quantity. That said, I feel very fortunate indeed to have a wide range of brilliant friends (including you!). Big life events such as I’ve experienced during the past couple of years really teach you who your friends are, and lead you to make new ones too. With you on not spending time on people who are constantly draining your energy – we all have our bad times but life is too short for those who are constantly negative and moaning about ever-y-thing! Looking forward to seeing you on Saturday sweetie xxx
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  28. Ebabee

    Love this post and your advice. You are so right that when a friend constantly makes you feel bad about yourself, it’s time to cut the strings even if that seems hard. I believe that some of our friendships are meant to be life-long whereas there are others that come in to your life at a certain time and only for a short time. I remember friends of mine that were great friends of mine in the moment (perhaps we were going through similar) but now I don’t even have them on FB. And that’s ok. We all outgrow some of our friends as we outgrow so many things in our lives and it’s important to remember that – ha! I’m getting all philosophical – hope it makes sense at least! I feel exactly the same about you – I just feel a connection xxx

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      So true darling, such wise words, feel so lucky to have you in my life, feel like we’ve never not known one another xxx

      Reply
  29. Sarah-Jane

    Wow that’s a lot of friends you have … You’re very lucky. I’ve found as i have got older that many of my friendships have dwindled and the one that i treasured the most has now completely dissolved (Though i still have no idea why 🙁 )I hope that one day i can have a friendship that’s not all take and that stands the test of time. Till then i will continue to feel blessed that Agent D is my partner and my bestie and that i can always turn to my sister who i love unconditionally

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Aw my husband is my bestie too, you sound like an amazing woman, often people can take advantage when you are so good-natured, I’d love to meet you one day x

      Reply
  30. Mess and Merlot

    Wow you have a huge group of friends -lucky lady indeed! I bet they feel lucky to have you too. We moved house a lot when I was growing up so my oldest friendships are mainly uni friends but thinking about it even that was about 18yrs ago (eek!!) Like you say, milestones do effect how your friendships evolve (or end) . Although we are all mummies now and spread around the country, we try to meet up at least once a year and when we do it’s just like old times. Of course marriage/ motherhood also brings opportunity of new friendships, tomorrow I’m off to Amsterdam with a group of friends who I can best describe as WAGS (I hate the term but you know what I mean!) and then there are the ‘local playground mums’ through both my children who are a whole other bunch to share the day to day joys of fetes, football practice and fun runs, with the odd coffee and cake thrown in from time to time.
    Luckily (?) I’m rubbish at pretending to like people if they’re just not my cup of tea so that definitely helps on the ‘superficial friends’ front ? That probably comes across as a bit harsh, it’s not meant to be, I just like to be with people who I can completely be myself around.
    Lovely post and what a gorgeous couple you are!! (Fingers crossed for the Louboutins ?) x #brilliantblogpost
    Mess and Merlot recently posted…I’m (not) going to BML16!My Profile

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    • Honest Mum

      Aw thanks babes-bahaha to the Louboutins and I’m like you, I don’t have time for fake friendships-wow your holiday sounds super-fun, hope we get to meet one day xx

      Reply
  31. Michelle

    I love the advice you give in this pos Vicki. So many times in my life I’ve held on to friendships that have taken from my life rather than enhancing it.

    Friendships can be complex beasts, but I believe even the most complicated of friendships should add something to our lives.

    Michelle xx

    Reply
  32. Heena C Khan

    It’s so true what you have written here Vicky. Over the years I have found myself in situations like this with friendships. I struggle to make new friends (I found it hardest when I moved to a new area and became a mum). Tbh it feels like some of the mums are just my friend cos our kids are friends. Which then just leaves me to solely rely on my two besties where I grew up. Who haven’t left my side and vice versa for anything.
    Heena C Khan recently posted…Dr PawPaw 7-in-1 hair treatment stylerMy Profile

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Thanks Heena, it can be hard to connect with others-even if you all have babies, that’s not enough common ground. You are lucky to have your longterm besties x

      Reply
  33. The Mum Project

    Ah I love this post because it’s reminded me of my friendship groups! I have quite a variety of them now, University group, high school group, mum group, Media agency group, hockey tour group, sometimes it’s hard to keep up with them all. But I always know I have my friends I’ve known since I was five years old. You’re right though, you never know where you are going to meet you’re next friend which is the best part about life! #brillblogposts

    Reply
  34. Rosie @greenrosielife

    Off to meet my Bestie later. We met at the vet’s almost 9 years ago and something just sparked from that first meeting. We were destined to become lifelong friends.
    Rosie @greenrosielife recently posted…Animal Tales 73My Profile

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  35. Geraldine

    I love this post.it’s so nice to celebrate your friends and jshow how imprtant they are to your life. Friendships are very important. I credit my mum and my sister as my best friends #brilliantblogposts
    Geraldine recently posted…Husbands Say the Funniest ThingsMy Profile

    Reply
  36. John Adams

    Friendship is an interesting one. I value friendship highly and have some great BFF. Likewise though, many have dwindled and not stood the test of time. That, as you say, is simply life. The project I was working on for Movember in Australia was fascinating. It was all based on the reality that men don’t have as many meaningful social connections as women and the impact this can have on their mental health. Alas, I have seen this with my own male friends. It’s not a path I wish to tread. Anyway, thanks for hosting #BrillaintBlogPosts, given me something to think about there.

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Oh John, how fascinating, I’d love to read more on that, can you link to the post please if it’s live. You are great at connecting and a wonderful friend to me, thank you!

      Reply
  37. Kim

    This is such a nice post and sounds like you have a great support systems of friends. It makes me reflect on my own life and circles of friends, those that have come and gone, those I only see once in a blue moon, and those I talk to/see all the time. Life wouldn’t be the same without any of them. Good post 🙂

    Reply
  38. Mim

    I love love love this post – friendship has been on my mind so much in the past few months and I’ve really been surprised for the good and bad at finding out who my true friends are. You’re so right though that you shouldn’t have to work too hard to be a friend, but you do have to put in something. You can’t expect to take and not give too. I’m 37 and it’s taken me this long, and a little bit of cancer, to work out what I absolutely demand from my friendships now – I feel that strongly about it! Love you and love this post. PS do you have any friends who are not gorgeous?? I love the snow pic too! x x

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Aw Mim, so tough when you discover the real friends and when you need them most. You are an amazing lady and I consider us friends, I feel like we know and get one another and all thanks to our online lives. Love you too hun. All my friends are absolutely gorgeous aren’t they! xx

      Reply
  39. jodie filogomo

    This reminds me of a poem I used to love about how some friendships are like the trees while others are like the flowers. But this world is a better place with both in our lives!!
    Great pics!!
    jodie
    http://www.jtouchofstyle.com

    Reply
  40. Catherine, Not Dressed As Lamb

    Wow such fantastic observations, Vicki! You’ve got them absolutely spot-on – I can think back on many a friendship that took me ages to put an end to because they made me feel bad about myself, or they didn’t have my back or other reasons. And those top 10 things really are a litmus test… When I think of my besties they pass with flying colours!!

    Love reading about yours – and it’s fab to know that Peter is your absolute best friend, as my husband is mine. What a warm and fuzzy post this was, thank you 🙂

    Catherine x
    Catherine, Not Dressed As Lamb recently posted…My Favourite Fun and Fabulous Links – June 2016My Profile

    Reply
  41. Andrea Nine

    Your precious pals have to be wonderful because they have the BEST sweet friend in an amazing woman like you!!

    Reply
  42. Alison (MadHouseMum)

    It’s so true that some friendships come and go. It’s as if we need certain friends at a particular time in our lives, but then it’s important to know that it’s ok to move on from one another. My mum taught me this when I was a teenager and it was a really good piece of advice. Some friends you can lose touch with for years and then when you meet up it’s as if you have never been apart. I love your litmus test. Have fun this weekend 🙂 Alison #Brilliantblogposts

    Reply

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