Oliver gasping-Honest Mum

Yep, you might well gasp!

So last week, my 2 year old son overheard a builder use the F word.

I know, disgusting right. What’s society coming to?

Erm, that builder might just have been me. I think it happened right after I indirectly vacuumed my own ponytail and then tripped over the cat. I know, it was a bad ‘effing’ day.

Now the kid, currently relishing in the English language and his daily expansion of it, has decided that F*** is his new favourite word. RIP ‘beautiful”.  So wonderful is his new word (despite him being aware it is so very wrong), it must be uttered at only the most important of times, in front of the very best of company.

Cue me waiting in line at the supermarket (behind a former colleague and her pristine child) as I tried to cough over my first born’s tourette like drivel, lying that yes it sounded rude but actually it was Greek for cake- or the time I was filling the car with petrol as the child witnessed me spilling the contents out of the pump and down myself, remarking exactly what I was thinking- or most recently, in the park, in front of I don’t know, maybe half a dozen mothers, as we missed out to a particular zealous one for the free swing. Oh the shame.

At least he knows when to apply the b***** word. A doctor recently commented how advanced his language skills are for his age. If only he knew quite how advanced.

So I’ve taken serious action (no, not the naughty step-not this time amigoes): the bin. No, not the child in the bin. I have my limits. The odd toy. Every time he says it, he now has to throw one of his toy cars into the bin (only to be retrieved later by me) hands squelching amongst the debris of last night’s dinner and the odd ponytail/cat’s tail. I suppose that’s a just enough punishment for me. I mean for the builder.

Luckily it seems to be working.

I’ve had prouder days…

Photograph © Peter Broadbent.

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21 Responses

  1. SAHMlovingit

    Greek for cake! Hahaha love it. It’s so easily done but sounds like the toy thing is working. Let’s hope his potty mouth is soon a thing of the past. Such a funny post xx

  2. Kate

    OMG Youngling has cottoned on to bad language too. I think partly because I am always muttering away to myself (especially Bloody and B***er). I know terrible right? I must try harder too. I love the idea of everytime he says it using a different word and the bin idea. Though I am sometimes tempted to put Youngling in the bin himself. lol xx

  3. theperfectbadmummy

    LOL! The tinker! It makes me feel slightly better about Theo calling Larry a “turd” after he spilt daddy’s can of beer once.

  4. Little Lilypad Co

    This is so honest, funny, cringeworthy and totally familiar. I also threaten with the bin (I did once say to my mother in law that the child would be in the bin … just for giggles).

  5. The Breastest News

    Lol, yes I’m a crisp addict!!! I’m currently in the middle of updating my “About” page so will be changing all that stuff 🙂 It needs a good freshening up. Will get my thinking cap on tonight.

  6. HonestMum

    @Susan thanks, good to know I’m not the only parent out there facing the consequences of swearing! Taught me never to swear again. Or at least to try not to.

  7. Susan Mann

    oops I’m sure this happens to us all. I’m sure I swore once in the car and my oldest picked it up. They soon forget thankfully x

  8. The Breastest News

    You really made me laugh when I read this, thanks for brightening up my day 🙂

    My son isn’t yet talking (although he should be) so this gives me a chance to reflect on my language and rein it in a little before he starts copying his mothers colourful words!

    • honestmum

      @Breastest News thanks, glad it made you laugh. Yes a lesson for us all. P.S cool blog but the whole crisps are my chocolate thing, wow. I live for dark chaocolate. And the kid.

  9. Eliza_Do_Lots

    Eep! My son dropped the F bomb in front of my mother in law – he had a tantrum playing with his toy garage and shouted “effing bus!” – she phoned to tell me off for letting him hear it (but was also a little pleased he was clever enough to use it in context!)

  10. Brian

    Thanks for the early heads up. My language can be a bit colorful at times, even now i’ve let slip a few times only to reassure myself that at 6 months he won’t understand…or is incapable of even repeating what i said. However… it’s out of order.

    On a more serious matter..my neighbours talk to their 3 young children like you would not believe… e.g…”shut the xxxx up you little xxxxxxx” Our walls are pretty thin. To hear this makes my blood boil and to see this couple in the street you would think butter wouldn’t melt. I’ve no reason to think there is anything more untoward going on but that is more than enough in my opinion.
    I really don’t undersand some people….but it’s a reflection of society right now…you don’t give respect, you don’t get respect.

    Sorry for bringing your light hearted blog post down Vicki….i’ll try harder in future. 😉

    • honestmum

      @Brain oh no that’s not very nice for you all. Do keep a listen out. Awful for parents to swear at their children. Hope your little man is fine and dandy.

  11. julesey10

    Oh dear! We’ve all been there. Caleb overheard hubby on the phone at around the same age and we had it for weeks. I told a huge lie and said daddy was saying duck and everytime he said it I said quack quack. Lol eventually he forgot never to be heard again and daddy was promptly given a smacked bottom!!!! Xx


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