So this morning we took the cute obligatory photos of Alexander, just 2, in his nursery uniform, the same nursery that his older brother Oliver attended, and pre-school (I’ve removed the markings on the uniform) and loved dearly- and we all smiled sweetly as my nerves were building up…another day, another huge milestone for us all (my eldest son, Oliver started school only last week)!
…Yesterday saw me stay with Alexander in nursery for an hour as he played and became more accustomed to his new environment and although he enjoyed it, I wasn’t sure what would happen today…
You see, he’s spent the first two years of his life with me every single day, yes, my Mum helps a lot, having him at my house or her’s but since she broke her foot, a family friend Beverly has been offering me childcare for three half days, playing with him while I sat in the kitchen tapping away, all the time able to see him, break for lunch, and basically be with him as much as possible.
I’m a full time professional blogger (and write weekly for Grazia) but as long as I meet my deadlines, I can work mornings and evenings burning the midnight oil if I need to, and although some days can be tough going, with my family’s help, we make it work!
Nursery will of course help Alexander socialise more (play dates aside) and is the neccessary first steps towards independence for him. It will also help my work structure no end.
I know 2 can seem old for a child to start nursery but it’s the age this particular one (which is amazing) takes children and I feel lucky to have a career that has enabled me to spend so much time with him so far….
But back to today, I dropped him off, stayed a while then was advised it was best I left. Cue wailing which I could hear in the car park as I ran out, tears streaming down my face too.
Ten minutes later, arriving home, heavy-hearted, I called the school to check up on him. He was still crying and cross but they recommended I leave it another hour. Urgh. The- longest- hour of my life.
Thank goodness for the support on twitter and a call from one of my blogging besties Zaz of Mama and More because I felt broken, literally heartbroken, like I’d abandoned my baby.
The vision of his sprawling arms and confused face was haunting me, over and over again. I’m crying writing this and he’s fast asleep in his pram next to me as I type! It was AWFUL! Heart-wrenching!
Then the school called again to say it was best I pick him up now so he doesn’t become too upset.
I rushed there with open arms, desperate to hug and kiss my baby. To just smell him.
He kept saying, “Me go home, Mummy, me go home” before falling fast asleep the minute I drove off.
…Tomorrow we’ll be back again and I’m staying with him for a couple of hours then he’s coming back home with me and we’ll be doing that again on Thursday-a slow settling in period to help him feel more secure and we both feel happier.
I know it often works to leave them and go (and some parents simply don’t have the option) but I think a slower period will suit Alexander…
What a tough old day but I know it will get easier, and better and there’ll be fewer tears (from both of us)-hopefully.
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