I’m so incredibly proud and besotted with my boys Oliver, 5 and Alexander, 2, so this post is first and foremost for them: my darling sons, so they can one day reflect on this post and the blog and know how loved they are and how much they enrich mine and my husband’s lives.
Thank you, you little cuties!
I sometimes see unfounded and quite often thoughtless preconceived notions or comments bandied around about what it means to have boys or to be a mother of boys… ideas that brothers fight non-stop, are always physical, have low attention-spans, are rather messy ( I see it about girls too-that they’re less affectionate, moody etc..) and I would like to take a stand and remind others that every boy, as with every girl, is individual and unique and while there might well be some characteristics that ring true of each sex, this does not apply to all and nor should it determine or limit character or opportunity for either sex, even from a young age.
I know quiet boys and boisterous girls (I was the latter), no child is the same and I’m rather bored of blase comments that boys struggle to concentrate for example, or are tougher to discipline… or a common misconception that they can’t wear stylish clothes (my kids’ wardrobes are stunningly vibrant bursting with prints and cool cuts that quite frankly rock)!
They must be free, and supported to wear what they choose (or we as parents choose for them), play with what that they want to, and simply be themselves without external pressures.
Yes that might be somewhat idealistic as other children and the media and society can play its part influencing choices and perpetuating stereotypes, but I want my sons to be free of those constraints and right now at 5 and nearly 3, they are.
My boys don’t conform to stereotypes, they have long hair which they both love and don’t want to cut, they love bold clothes, are both fiercely bright and fun, funny and thoughtful and love to pick wildflowers and brush my hair (and tell me I’m a princess), as much as they enjoy running outside, kicking balls around and climbing trees. The latter three I love to do myself, and I’ve even been known to climb a tree a heels before!
I do wear trainers too you know (enough of the stereotypes)!
Furthermore, they adore watching Tinkerbell films as much as Transformers and love to live life to the full. As they should.
And here they are.
My beautiful boys.
My serious little Oliver-
And sweet, fearless Xander-
I wanted to share some of my most favourite photos of the boys taken over the weekend in the Yorkshire Dales.
While Peter and my folks cooked dinner back at our cottage, together, my sons and I embarked on a late afternoon adventure…With their little hands in mine, we strolled through fields upon fields of wildflowers, the late sun warming our cheeks as picked buttercups from the fragrant meadows and bleated at nearby sheep…
It was bliss!
But back to way before they were even born-
I never had a preference when it came to the gender of my children and was naively surprised when others did to be honest. I just wanted a baby to call my own.
I think if anything I’d hoped for my first child to be boy, a mini Peter, my husband, to protect a future sister perhaps (and Peter was just so cute as a baby, a real mini Brad Pitt).
Then, after a traumatic birth with my first son Oliver, in my heart I’d hoped another boy would help me to relive that time but in a more positive way. Silly, maybe but experiencing a tranquil birth with Alexander was somewhat healing, and he looked just like his brother as a baby too.
It was rather magical and made up for the pain, physically and emotionally first time round.
I would of course, undoubtedly been happy with girls too and I can understand and appreciate that many would like to experience both sexes, but life as we know, simply doesn’t work like that.
I personally wouldn’t want to choose the gender of my child, and never, ever feel I’m missing out by not having a daughter, and I hope mothers of girls don’t feel they’re missing out, without a son.
I have friends’ children who are girls in my life and lots of girl cousins I’m close to.
I always wanted children, to be a mother and it’s a joy and privilege to have two wonderful sons in my life.
And it’s safe to say they’re real Mummy’s boys too, affectionate and loving to their number one girl!
And ‘boy’ are they different to one another-
Oliver was born mature, always caring and considerate, a deep-thinker, studious and creative too, and a total perfectionist just like me.
Xander is out-going, a real character, and will and does befriend every child he meets.
A born performer, he entertains us with his invented jokes and even impressions, despite not yet being 3.
Both boys are artistic too, and spend hours drawing and crafting, inventing and exploring.
They certainly keep me on my toes, particularly Oliver’s unquenchable thirst to try and understand and grasp the world around him. It’s hard to explain the meaning of life and how we all got here to a 5 year old but I try my best!
Argh my boys, I cherish those two, they’re quite simply my whole entire world. I look at their dreamy almond eyes, wide smiles and thick locks, and literally can’t believe they’re mine.
Those of us with babes/kids in arms are so incredibly lucky and I hope with all my heart these two continue to be the caring, charismatic boys they are right now, that they hopefully make a positive impact on the world as they grow up, but most of all, they’re always healthy and happy, and believe, along with their father, that we’ve done them proud.
Outfits c/o me&i, mamas&papas and Vertbaudet.
To read a father’s view on the frustrating assumptions both girls and boys face, do read Man Stays Home posts Good Little Girls and Naughty Little Boys.
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