I’m so incredibly proud and besotted with my boys Oliver, 5 and Alexander, 2, so this post is first and foremost for them: my darling sons, so they can one day reflect on this post and the blog and know how loved they are and how much they enrich mine and my husband’s lives.

Thank you, you little cuties!


I sometimes see unfounded and quite often thoughtless preconceived notions or comments bandied around about what it means to have boys or to be a mother of boys… ideas that brothers fight non-stop, are always physical, have low attention-spans, are rather messy ( I see it about girls too-that they’re less affectionate, moody etc..) and I would like to take a stand and remind others that every boy, as with every girl, is individual and unique and while there might well be some characteristics that ring true of each sex, this does not apply to all and nor should it determine or limit character or opportunity for either sex, even from a young age.

smiling kids

I know quiet boys and boisterous girls (I was the latter), no child is the same and I’m rather bored of blase comments that boys struggle to concentrate for example, or are tougher to discipline… or a common misconception that they can’t wear stylish clothes (my kids’ wardrobes are stunningly vibrant bursting with prints and cool cuts that quite frankly rock)!


They must be free, and supported to wear what they choose (or we as parents choose for them), play with what that they want to, and simply be themselves without external pressures.

Yes that might be somewhat idealistic as other children and the media and society can play its part influencing choices and perpetuating stereotypes, but I want my sons to be free of those constraints and right now at 5 and nearly 3, they are.

My boys don’t conform to stereotypes, they have long hair which they both love and don’t want to cut, they love bold clothes, are both fiercely bright and fun, funny and thoughtful and love to pick wildflowers and brush my hair (and tell me I’m a princess), as much as they enjoy running outside, kicking balls around and climbing trees. The latter three I love to do myself, and I’ve even been known to climb a tree a heels before!

I do wear trainers too you know (enough of the stereotypes)!

Furthermore, they adore watching Tinkerbell films as much as Transformers and love to live life to the full. As they should.

And here they are.

My beautiful boys.

My serious little Oliver-

portrait of a boy

And sweet, fearless Xander-


I wanted to share some of my most favourite photos of the boys taken over the weekend in the Yorkshire Dales.

While Peter and my folks cooked dinner back at our cottage, together, my sons and I embarked on a late afternoon adventure…With their little hands in mine, we strolled through fields upon fields of wildflowers, the late sun warming our cheeks as picked buttercups from the fragrant meadows and bleated at nearby sheep…

boys in fields boys boy Alexander

It was bliss!

But back to way before they were even born-

I never had a preference when it came to the gender of my children and was naively surprised when others did to be honest. I just wanted a baby to call my own.

I think if anything I’d hoped for my first child to be boy, a mini Peter, my husband, to protect a future sister perhaps (and Peter was just so cute as a baby, a real mini Brad Pitt).

Then, after a traumatic birth with my first son Oliver, in my heart I’d hoped another boy would help me to relive that time but in a more positive way. Silly, maybe but experiencing a tranquil birth with Alexander was somewhat healing, and he looked just like his brother as a baby too.

It was rather magical and made up for the pain, physically and emotionally first time round.

I would of course, undoubtedly been happy with girls too and I can understand and appreciate that many would like to experience both sexes, but life as we know, simply doesn’t work like that.

I personally wouldn’t want to choose the gender of my child, and never, ever feel I’m missing out by not having a daughter, and I hope mothers of girls don’t feel they’re missing out, without a son.

I have friends’ children who are girls in my life and lots of girl cousins I’m close to.

I always wanted children, to be a mother and it’s a joy and privilege to have two wonderful sons in my life.

And it’s safe to say they’re real Mummy’s boys too, affectionate and loving to their number one girl!


And ‘boy’ are they different to one another-

Oliver was born mature, always caring and considerate, a deep-thinker, studious and creative too, and a total perfectionist just like me.

Xander is out-going, a real character, and will and does befriend every child he meets.

A born performer, he entertains us with his invented jokes and even impressions, despite not yet being 3.

Both boys are artistic too, and spend hours drawing and crafting, inventing and exploring.

kids drawing

They certainly keep me on my toes, particularly Oliver’s unquenchable thirst to try and understand and grasp the world around him. It’s hard to explain the meaning of life and how we all got here to a 5 year old but I try my best!

Argh my boys, I cherish those two, they’re quite simply my whole entire world. I look at their dreamy almond eyes, wide smiles and thick locks, and literally can’t believe they’re mine.

boy on a bench

cute son

Those of us with babes/kids in arms are so incredibly lucky and I hope with all my heart these two continue to be the caring, charismatic boys they are right now, that they hopefully make a positive impact on the world as they grow up, but most of all, they’re always healthy and happy, and believe, along with their father, that we’ve done them proud.

Outfits c/o me&i, mamas&papas and Vertbaudet.

To read a father’s view on the frustrating assumptions both girls and boys face, do read Man Stays Home posts Good Little Girls and Naughty Little Boys.

Like what you've read? Then why not follow Vicki on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Pinterest and Instagram

Never Miss A Post!

Subscribe to HonestMum for my weekly email newsletter where I share my new blog posts, blogging tips, event invitations, competitions and news about my new book:

41 Responses

  1. Charlotte Oates

    What a lovely post. My boys are a very similar age to yours and I completely echo your feeling of pride in them every day (unless of course they’ve decided to create havoc in M&S like they did today!). I suspect I’d be equally as proud of girls, but I wouldn’t change my boys for anything.
    Charlotte Oates recently posted…Summer Fruits FlapjacksMy Profile

  2. Nikki Frank-Hamilton

    I have a boy and a girl, and I must say that they acted pretty similar until they were school aged. Loving, silly, cuddly, energetic. They both played with cars and trucks, dolls and dress up. They were loved and they loved us, that’s all that mattered. Sounds like you were given the best children for you, and they were given the best parents for them!!!
    Nikki Frank-Hamilton recently posted…10 Things I wish I would have known when I began blogging…My Profile

  3. Rachel @ The Ordinary Lovely

    I love this, Vicki. My boys are two and four and are so, so different that it’s hard to believe you could ever stereotype anyone because of their sex. The eldest is extremely loud and enthusiastic but unbelievably well behaved and the littlest is so quiet and relaxed but not if you cross him. I give them the freedom to develop their own little personalities and likes and dislikes, without any of society’s constraints – I don’t care what colours they want to wear, what toys they choose to play with, how they have their hair. They’re just little boys and I love the fiercely, for no reason other than I do, regardless of what they ever choose to do x
    Rachel @ The Ordinary Lovely recently posted…LavenderMy Profile

    • honestmum

      Such beautiful and true words Rachel, I feel exactly the same as you, we are so, so lucky to have these incredibly little children in our life aren’t we x

  4. dot rogers

    Beautiful photos and a beautiful family! The yorkshire dales never looked so good! I too am a proud owner of (1 so far!) boy! I’m also pretty besotted! Glad to know it’s not just me! http://www.dotrogers.biz x

  5. susankmann

    Such a lovely post and you are so proud. It is amazing being a mother and I cannot remember what is it like not to be one. The best thing in the world x
    susankmann recently posted…Time – The Gallery 238My Profile

  6. Lottie Lomas

    Lovely post and great photographic portraits. I have 2 boys too and they are as different as chalk and cheese. I agree that you can never stereotype!

  7. Sam Hunts Childminding

    I am in the wonderful position to enjoy children, love the quirks and individual personalities, love the times of cheekiness, the times of cuddles, the times of tears, the times of standing up for themselves (aka a tantrum or two), the times of rolling down hills, splashing in streams xxxx lovely post

  8. Lucy @ bottlefor2

    Lovely boys. They always look like they are so happy in themselves and that is so important. It must be amazing to have so many great pictures of them. When they get older how on earth will you prioritise which ones to have up on the wall 🙂
    Lucy @ bottlefor2 recently posted…Surviving the journey with a small oneMy Profile

  9. Fionnuala

    Such a lovely post Vicki. As fellow mother of loving, often gentle boys, I wholeheartedly agree 🙂
    Fionnuala from http://www.threesonslater.blogspot.com
    Fionnuala recently posted…Invisible ParentingMy Profile

  10. K @ Eat.Love.Live

    Awww, your blog post made me emotional. You can see how much love you have for them and they seem so sweet. The photos you shared of them are stunning. K x
    K @ Eat.Love.Live recently posted…Mama’s Holiday StyleMy Profile

  11. Mummy Tries

    Gorgeous post my darling, absolutely loved reading this and the photos were stunning as always.

    I’m the same, totally bored of all the gender stereotyping that goes on. Just let them be kids for goodness sake.

    Your boys sound utterly adorable, very unique and completely different to one another. You and Peter are doing a sterling job 🙂

    Keep on being proud mama, you’ve every right to be xxxx
    Mummy Tries recently posted…Competition: Win a £25 John Lewis Gift VoucherMy Profile

  12. Steph @MisplacedBrit

    Years will go by and there won’t be a single minute that your boys don’t know how fully and completely loved, cherished and cared for they are…
    That’s who you guys are x
    Steph @MisplacedBrit recently posted…Silent Sunday, week 28 – 2015My Profile

  13. Haidee@Maybe Baby Brothers

    Your boys are simply gorgeous, I loved this post! I too have two boys (aged 2.5 and 4) and I love them to pieces. Two very different kids – one is boisterous and talkative and very much a boy while one is sweet and sensitive and lost in his own little world. Blessed.
    Haidee@Maybe Baby Brothers recently posted…The 12 Year Anniversary – A Time For ChangeMy Profile

    • honestmum

      That’s so lovely, and it’s so important boys aren’t homogenised into one group (or girls) and every one is so unique and different x

  14. Wave to Mummy

    What a sweet sweet post 🙂 I feel the same way about my girl, she just brightens up my life and makes it so much better in every way, just the way she is. I always wanted to have a girl, but of course had I had a boy, I am sure I would have been just as happy 🙂
    Wave to Mummy recently posted…10 simple tips to make car travel with kids saferMy Profile

  15. Emma

    Such a lovely post. It took us 2 years to conceive J so I just felt blessed to have a baby. Now #2 is nearly here (I’m 40+2 -come on baby A!) I would be lying if I said I wouldn’t like to experience having a girl but I just can’t wait to complete our family. My boy is sensitive, funny and delightful and I can’t wait to give him a brother or sister and see them grow together x
    Emma recently posted…Mini chocolate croissants (dairy free, egg free, nut free)My Profile

    • honestmum

      Oh wow, not long now (surely), having two children is just amazing and seeing their friendship and bond grow, I was worried with a second if I might not have enough love, but it seriously multiplies, rather than divides, excited to read your news x

  16. North East Family Fun

    Ah lovely post and some beautiful photographs. As I was growing up I always imagined I would have two children – one girl, one boy but then as soon as Harry was born I realised it didn’t matter at all what gender they were as I had so much love. When I was pregnant with baby number 2 I fully expected to be a mum of three boys and was happy with that – as it turned out I have boy-girl-boy and I am truly blessed. I completely agree, it doesn’t matter at all what gender they are. My Heidi is sometimes more of a ‘typical boy’ than her brothers. I love how my children have completely different personalities – they sure are a miracle to be cherished xx
    North East Family Fun recently posted…What’s on during the Under the Dome Festival – Whitley Bay 18th July-2nd AugustMy Profile

    • honestmum

      You are so right, I love that I have boys but would have equally loved girls and I feel so proud of my little ones, love your comment x

  17. Hester Short

    What a fabulous, loving, post. Thank you for reminding me, after a particularly frazzling day, to take time out to appreciate ‘my lot’.

    BTW, I love Xander’s t-shirt – do you mind me asking where It’s from? My boys are racing car crazy!

    • honestmum

      Aw glad to have helped, some days are tough with kids aren’t they. Of course, the tee is by Swedish brand me&i who are just fabulous!

      • Hester

        Thank so much, will look them up! Also, today is a much better day…

  18. Caroline Asquith

    Aww what an utterly beautiful post, totally with you on all points! If one more person asks, ” Will you keep trying until you have a girl?” I may have to be restrained….

    I’m sure all mamas are just happy to have them here safe and well, regardless of the sex.
    Also, boys clothes ROCK

    • honestmum

      So boring, boys are a complete joy and I love their clothes, your 3 are just stunning, we are so, so lucky x

  19. Ebabee

    What a beautiful post. Your boys are utterly beautiful inside and out. When I was pregnant EVERYBODY told me I was having a boy – apparently my very neat bump indicated that it was a boy. Oh how wrong they were! I was surprised but delighted to have a girl – would have been happy with a boy too but now I couldn’t imagine not having this sweet, stubborn, funny, playful, crazy and kind little girl in my life. Couldn’t agree more – boys and girls should not be put in to boxes and expected to behave in a certain way as each and every child is truly unique. Fabulous post, fabulous pics. xxx
    Ebabee recently posted…DIY fruity Summer diaryMy Profile

    • honestmum

      Thanks darling, I had really neat bumps too, I remember that feeling of being pregnant and thinking kids were basically dolls then they arrive and change your life and bring so much joy and love, it’s unimaginable to think of life without them or life pre-kids. Anya is so smart and beautiful, I can’t wait to meet her xx


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

CommentLuv badge