pearls of wisdom

This post was originally going to be dedicated to several famous women and their words of wisdom (I’m a bit obsessed with collecting these kernels-see my Pinterest Board Wise Words for evidence)- but then I had second thoughts-why not ask the women in my life whom are my friends, colleagues and collaborators, to share their pearls of wisdom instead?!

Their words are just as important, if not more so, than those famous women I don’t even know beyond the confines of publicists and the media.

Below are women who are real to me, whose words touch and resonate, truly.

But look Bey, if you’re reading this, we can still totes be mates!

So, sit down, take five and simply absorb and relish the wisdom here from so many great women I admire.

Kick-ass ladies, jugglers, survivors, sisters, wise owls and true mates-I know you’re going to LOVE this post!

First up I’m going to kick of proceedings with words from my new business partner, the awesome TV Pyschologist Emma Kenny on her key to a happy life.

Her words literally gave me goosebumps!

 

HOW TO BE HAPPY

‘The key to a happy life is to be unashamedly yourself, without apology, without regret and to ensure you live that life surrounded by the people who truly love and respect you. Great relationships are the key to happiness and all relationships start with the self’.

YES, YES and YES.  I love this so much! Thank you Emma!

Emma and I are collaborating on several projects next year with a problem page #ProblemShared going live in January so if you have any problems you need support with, contact me (confidentially too).

Check out Emma’s super site Switch: your new approach to health, self, diet and fitness.

Another partner of mine, is the incredible entrepreneur and publicist Jessice Huie MBE-I just adore her words. What an inspiration.

 

HOW TO BE SUCCESSFUL 

‘In order to be successful you have to make yourself vulnerable. If you aren’t feeling uncomfortable or stretched then you are playing in the safe zone…

Whenever I have felt I don’t belong, I’m not good enough, or incapable, if I’ve jumped then, magic has happened. I don’t think that success lies beyond our safe zone, I know it to be true’.

Jessica Huie MBE

Jessica Huie Public Relations

Next up some thoughts from me with lessons my Mama and Papa have taught me-

 

BE YOURSELF

I know this sounds so utterly obvious but often we are scared to show others our true selves for fear they might not understand, like us and worst of all, reject us out right, but it’s so important to simply be yourself. To be honest, true and genuine. Come to terms with not being able to please everyone and honour who you are. Once you do, it’s so incredibly liberating!

 

TRUST YOUR GUT

This has never failed me yet, even when I’ve tried to ignore it and overcome those niggly feelings, they’ve always proved themselves right. That visceral feeling something or someone feels ‘off’, be it ‘bad’ boyfriends of the past or friendships doomed to fail, follow your gut.

It’s also important to learn to distinguish between actual fear and insecurity. Often we allow lack of confidence or feeling anxious to stop us from accomplishing our goals-so know when you might be hampering yourself, or the alarm bells are ringing for a reason.

 

LIVE LIFE TO THE FULL
This I get from my Dad, Papa G (an honorary woman here) who, more than anyone, certainly lives life to the full-a man bursting with charisma and joy, Papa G is the life and soul of the party.

He won’t let anyone or thing limit him or his life experiences and potential (watching him film something for telly this year and his sheer ambition is inspiring).

Thanks to him, I take chances and risks and try to make our days, most of the time, as exciting as possible. To living a meaningful, but also a fun life.

 

Now it’s over to some awesome ladies to share their wisdom too.

In the comments, please leave your own wise words.

Let’s share, support and lift one another up!

 

MAKE PEACE WITH YOUR PAST

‘Make peace with your past no matter how dark it is, otherwise it will haunt you forever!’

Renée, Mummy Tries

SEEK OUT THE POSITIVES

 

‘I cannot tell you how potentially soul-destroying it is to be surrounded by a constant undercurrent of negativity.  Part of me wants to react to it with further negativity – having a bad mood in reaction to all of the negative thoughts.

BUT, I absolutely refuse to subscribe to this negative way of thinking.

I hadn’t realised until recently, but I tend to take a proactive way of thinking instead of a reactive one.  And I believe with some readjustment, everyone has the potential to be proactive instead of reactive.

For me, it’s about continually thinking outside of the box, ‘the box’ being the negative place that others are stuck in.

Striving to not be bogged down by what seems like a bad situation, but instead finding the positives of that situation and using them constructively.’

Fiona,

The Only Free Range Chick

 

TURN AWAY FROM NEGATIVITY

‘I guess my key life advice is about avoiding negativity.

It’s about learning to bend and give with what life throws at you, not forcing life to fit your preconceived notions.

It’s about acceptance and grace.

Don’t look for petty confrontation because you will surely find it all around, but turn and walk away, conserve you energies and view these annoyances as distant vibrations.

Learn to nurture yourself’

Hayley

Down Side Up

 

THIS TOO SHALL PASS

If there’s anything I’ve learned over the past few months with the sad passing of my Father and an operation to remove a tumour in my neck, it’s that these words my wise and wonderful Mother taught me are so, so true…

They remind me not only that life goes on and so much is fleeting in retrospect but also to savour each and every moment’

Michelle

The Joy Chaser

The Essex Barn

 

OTHER PEOPLE’S STORIES
Don’t make them your own.

Release your attachment to other people’s views about you. It doesn’t have to be in a negative way, there is no wrong or right, we all have to accept that there is difference. What is right for me, may not be right for you and vice versa.

If someone doesn’t like you, then be detached enough from it to understand that it’s not always about you, so often it’s about them.

It doesn’t mean that you abdicate responsibility for your behaviour, words or actions, but once you have examined yourself and are at peace, then you can accept that perhaps their reactions are based on what they are feeling, what they are going through, the prism through which they see life.

It’s not always about us – that’s where ego comes in – but with being detached from the outcome of interactions with other people we can be true to ourselves and allow others space to decipher their own stories.

Zaz, Mama and More

 

YOU KNOW YOUR KIDS BETTER THAN ANYONE

‘NEVER compare yourself to anyone else. That shiny hair, smart clothes and sleeping baby might look impressive but behind closed doors we all have our meltdowns, wear our pjs and get sick in our hair!
Ask for help if you need – there are no medals for struggling.

Eat cake, drink coffee and enjoy vodka.

Always trust your instincts as a mother. You know your children better than anyone and if your gut is nagging you, there is usually a reason why’

 

Natalie, Just Because I Love, Spice Warrior & Natalie Trice.

 

COMPARISON IS THE THIEF OF JOY

‘I used to suffer terribly from comparing myself and measuring my own success against others. I would often berate myself when when comparing to others and it is complete confidence killer.
I have had to retrain myself (and it was hard) to not compare. We are all different! And that is what makes us who we are in all our wonderfulness’.

Rachel
Rachel the HatYosa

 

LIFE LESSONS
‘Not everyone will like you, and that’s okay. Confidence is a state of mind. Perfection is overrated. The little things ARE the big things. Love is all you need’.
Lizzie
Lizzie Somerset

 

ON CREATING ART

Below is what Amee says to her son when he gets frustrated when drawing or playing an instrument, or to friends when they’re feeling too self-critical or despondent, or even herself when she’s being too self-critical:

‘There’s a saying, ‘you have to make bad art before you can make good art.’ I think this carries across to all fields, not just art and design. Nobody is born an expert – when we see success we see the finished product of years and years of mistakes, dead ends, and terrible work that never sees the light of day.

The people that we admire are just like us – they weren’t born ready, they just keep ploughing on until the bad art becomes good, or good enough. Have faith – skill is mostly just perseverance’.

Amee

Amee D’Souza

 

DREAMING BIG

‘Always try your best, work hard and dream big. Love with all your heart, be grateful for at least one thing every day. Love and be loved and if you can make someone’s day better, do it! Oh and avoid lame ducks’.

Kat
Beau Twins

 

ON WANTING TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE

‘Ultimately, my advice to anyone who will listen all comes down to control – and taking back control in areas of your life where you’ve lost it – that might be to do with the way you eat, your lack of exercise, being unhappy at work, being complacent with the state of the relationship you have with your partner, or a difficult friendship that is bringing you down: whatever the issue, I truly believe that regaining control and ownership and looking at ways to alleviate/solve the problem is the only way to move forward.

Waiting around for a magic wand/lottery win/husband to have a personality change isn’t likely to happen, and relying on everyone else around you to make things better, will only leave you disappointed.

Relying on yourself, your own strength, your ingenuity and ability to cope and problem solve – that’s a whole other ball game!

I realised that it is me alone that holds the responsibility to ensure my own happiness, of course plenty of people can add to my happiness and contentment in life, but ultimately I’m in charge, and if there’s something I don’t like and I’m not happy with, then I need to change it – no more burying my head in the sand and waiting for others to solve my problems.

Some phrases that I find useful when it comes to health/weight in particular are:
‘I don’t find the time to exercise, I MAKE the time to exercise’.

‘Losing weight is hard. Being fat is hard. Pick your hard’.

Lucy, Mrs Bishop’s Bakes and Banter 

 

ON YOUR GOALS

‘Thanks to training and running three marathons I have learnt that if you put hard work into something, stick to your plans, you will achieve what you want to achieve. I apply this not only to my fitness plans, but also my life philosophy.

Since my dad passed away……

-Make sure you make the most of every day, enjoy little things and treasure them’.

Mirka

Fitness4mamas.com and allbabyadvice-blog.com

ALWAYS LEARNING

‘Never stop learning. Ask questions of everyone you meet, and don’t feel embarrassed if you don’t know something, as this can be quickly and easily rectified. True ignorance is assuming you know it all, not admitting that you don’t.’

Jacqui Paterson, Mummy’s Little Monkey

 

BEING ENOUGH
‘You are enough the way you are, don’t try to be like anyone else because you are special, unique, individual.
Try not to worry too much what others think – they are not as bothered as you think they are anyway! Kindness wins every time, but don’t waste your time on those who take advantage of that.
Find those who love and value you for who you are and don’t let them go. Celebrate and support others – it will make you feel good, too. Get outside and feel the sunshine on your skin – there are few better feelings in the world’.

Leigh, Headspace Perspective

Wow! So many pearls of wisdom, this is definitely my most favourite post of all time.

Thanks to all who contributed.

I will be running more of these so there will be plenty of opportunity for others to share their thoughts too if you want to join in next time!

Woohoo! I’m feeling refreshed, strong and ready to face the world.

Are you?!

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66 Responses

  1. One Messy Mama

    This is beautiful! What a special way to celebrate people we care for by asking them their words of wisdom! Loved “Comparison is the thief to Joy”! Many true words!

    Reply
  2. Tammymum

    I really like this, some excellent advice there and things we should remind ourselves of daily. Thank you for reminding me! #brillblogposts
    Tammymum recently posted…8 things I wish I knew before going to LabourMy Profile

    Reply
  3. becca farrelly

    A lovely post, its so important to remember these in everyday life. I always ‘trust my gut’ as it is very rarely wrong! I love quotes and agree with many other comments about real quotes by real people is far more inspiring! 🙂

    #brillblogposts
    becca farrelly recently posted…Mia’s 1st Santa VisitMy Profile

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Thanks lovely, it’s my favourite post to date and I totally agree, I will never not trust my gut again, it has never let me down x

      Reply
  4. Laura

    What a wonderful resource! 🙂 I love collecting inspiration and quotes too. My favourites since become are this too shall pass and give up being perfect, good enough is just fine.

    Something that has really helped with my mental health issues is remembering that no feeling or problem lasts forever. If you are having a terrible time, remembering that this WILL change in an hour, a week, a year etc really helps. Also – live in the present, it’s the only place that really exists. Thanks for sharing x #brillblogposts
    Laura recently posted…Five Tips For Managing Anxiety & Depression During The Holiday PeriodMy Profile

    Reply
  5. Mum in Brum

    Thanks for this – some really great advice. I so agree that once you learn to be yourself and stop trying to please everyone you can really start to be comfortable with who you are and great things come of that. Also think that stepping out of your comfort zone and dreaming big is a must – if you don’t do it, nobody else is going to do it for you. #brilliantblogposts x
    Mum in Brum recently posted…#UsAfterYou – featuring Mum Muddling ThroughMy Profile

    Reply
  6. Joanna @mumbalance

    Thanks for this post! Including quotes from real people is so much more inspiring than from someone famous and untouchable. Especially the blogger quotes, as these are ladies in the same position in life I am.
    #brillinatblogposts
    Joanna @mumbalance recently posted…Home-made natural cold remedy – suitable for young children and in pregnancyMy Profile

    Reply
  7. Catherine @ Not Dressed As Lamb

    Vicki this is SUCH an amazing post… One to come back to again and again, especially if you’re feeling a bit blue or deflated! So many wise words here: I often think some of the best posts are ones where lots of readers/bloggers have contributed a little something. Thank you so much for writing this :))

    Catherine xoxo
    Catherine @ Not Dressed As Lamb recently posted…How to Nail the 70s Trend Without Wearing Flared JeansMy Profile

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  8. Debbie

    Hi Vicki, all very wise words indeed. Wisdom certainly comes with age and I think one of the best pearls of wisdom was to be yourself, no matter what. Learning to know our self and to like our self isn’t always easy, but I do believe it gets easier as we age.

    I think happiness is easier to achieve when we are older too, as by then we know what is important in life.

    The piece of wisdom I will take from this post is that success comes after we step out of our comfort zone.

    XX
    Debbie recently posted…How To Cook Christmas Dinner In AdvanceMy Profile

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Thanks so much Debbie, I agree, I wish I knew what I did now in my 20’s. Love the quote on pushing yourself out of your comfort zone from Jessica Huie MBE, so scary but necessary for success x

      Reply
  9. Michelle Reeves (The Joy Chaser)

    Love Emma’s words so much – they speak right to the heart of being strong and confident and living a kick-ass life, following your gut and pushing forward towards your dreams! Feeling so uplifted and positive after reading through this fabulous post which I’m pinning immediately. Thanks so much for inviting me to be part of it darling and so looking forward to an amazing 2016 xx
    Michelle Reeves (The Joy Chaser) recently posted…Share the Joy link up #32My Profile

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Oh thanks so much, reading Emma’s words and all of yours gave me goosebumps, what an incredible group of women. Honoured to have you darling, thanks for being a great friend and inspiration x

      Reply
  10. Mama and More aka Zaz

    Oh my, there are some days like today when things render you speechless. So much to learn from, to mull over, to turn around and look at from different angles, to absorb. This is an incredible post Vicki, one to come back to time and time again. Bookmarked. And honoured, so honoured to be included alongside so many wonderful wise, generous, giving women. My goodness, how we don’t run the world is anyone’s guess! (Or maybe we do and we’re just not telling!) xxxxx
    Mama and More aka Zaz recently posted…All About You Link Party – be good to youMy Profile

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    • Honest Mum

      Loved this comment darling, you are a fountain of wisdom and sense and I love you so much Zaz, thank you for being you and inspiring us all, what a wonderfully uplifting post, my favourite ever xxx (We totes run the world just not everyone knows it yet) x

      Reply
  11. Phoenicia

    Amazing quotes. I like all of them but the one which stood out a mile to me was coming out of your comfort zone and enjoying being stretched.
    Phoenicia recently posted…How much patience do you really have?My Profile

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Thanks Phoenicia, loved Jessica’s words, and all, really resonated with me yesterday of all days when I decided to take the plunge into the unknown on a project x

      Reply
  12. Silly Mummy

    Great advice and inspiration from all the ladies (& your dad!) Really like the success one – that’s very true. #brilliantblogposts
    Silly Mummy recently posted…What Is It Like Living in a Women’s Refuge?My Profile

    Reply
  13. Fiona @ Free Range Chick

    Vicki, I’m seriously honoured to be here amongst these incredibly wise women. I am inspired by each of their wise words, and am totally having a Wayne’s World ‘we’re not worthy!’ moment (complete with on hands and knees and raggedy long hair!).

    I have to say, I’m forever in awe of anything Zaz has to say, as well as my best girl Reneé, who I fell for, friend-at-first-sight at Britmums 2015.

    Thanks so much for including me in this epic post. Bey, ‘WE’RE NOT WORTHY!’ xxx
    Fiona @ Free Range Chick recently posted…Being a Proactive ThinkerMy Profile

    Reply
  14. Julie Downes

    So, so, so many words of wisdom. A truly inspiring post, thanks for sharing! #brilliantblogposts
    Julie Downes recently posted…In need of a new routine?My Profile

    Reply
  15. Leigh - Headspace Perspective

    What a wonderful post Vicki! Such a lovely idea. As Hayley says it’s interesting we all echo each other – though that shouldn’t be surprising. I shall be copying out some of them. And Beyonce should totally read this! Together we are stronger xxx
    Leigh – Headspace Perspective recently posted…Be a Not-So Selfish Mother in a Mother TeeMy Profile

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Haha Beyonce totally should read this, might have to tweet her! Women together are definitely stronger darling. Thank you for sharing your wisdom here, meant a lot to me x

      Reply
  16. Tinuke

    So many brilliant, wise words here! Such a fantastic post, it had me nodding my agreement with some very loud “mmm hmms” thrown in too!
    Tinuke recently posted…EE brings out the Robin, a tablet for kidsMy Profile

    Reply
  17. Morgan Prince

    A brilliant post hun, and such inspiration from wonderful women. Thank you so much for sharing Vicki! xx
    Morgan Prince recently posted…The Key to Communication with a TweenMy Profile

    Reply
  18. Hayley - Downs Side Up

    What an incredible post and how amazing that so many of the pearls of wisdom overlapped and echoed each other. I truly believe we have to nurture ourselves, realise our worth, push our comfort zones and align ourselves with those that understand and love us. Collaboration is key, and letting go of what is not important. Honoured to be included. Thank you amazing Vicki.
    Hayley – Downs Side Up recently posted…Countdown to Christmas: Fabulously Festive Advent IdeasMy Profile

    Reply
  19. Mummy Tries

    Beautifully uplifting post hon, and I feel honoured to feature. I need these pearls of wisdom at the moment 🙂 xxx
    Mummy Tries recently posted…One Thing After AnotherMy Profile

    Reply
  20. Mrs Tubbs

    Great advice and a much needed kick in the arse. Thank you 🙂 Pinned for when I need a reminder. My comment, always put the good advice somewhere you can find it when you need it. 🙂

    Reply
  21. International Elf Service

    Fab post and it’s SO good reading that ‘ordinary women’ are in fact the ones who are actually very extra-ordinary! Perhaps if people read more posts like this, they’ll start to believe in themselves more. Gutted to miss Uju’s pearls of wisdom but the promise of January sounds good ;). Emily x
    International Elf Service recently posted…How To Make A Cosy Christmas House!My Profile

    Reply
  22. Random Musings

    What an amazing post, so uplifting. I feel really inspired after reading this, and I love that so many people mentioned being yourself. This is so important and something so many people struggle with. It is better to be disliked by someone for being you than be loved by them for being someone else. Thanks for hosting #brilliantblogposts 🙂
    Debbie
    Random Musings recently posted…Avon Haul 5My Profile

    Reply
  23. Mirka Moore @Fitness4Mamas

    Also forgot to say how amazing you are putting all this inspiration in one place. LOVE YOU xxx
    Mirka Moore @Fitness4Mamas recently posted…Download FREE Christmas Slimpod (worth £30) from Thinking Slimmer #FitnessTuesdayMy Profile

    Reply
  24. John Adams

    Compelling reading Vicky. I shall assume Papa is an honorary woman on this occasion??? Particularly taken by Renee and Lizzie Somerset’s words. Both certainly ring true to me. As ever, thanks for hosting this great linky.
    John Adams recently posted…Christmas fashion giveaway from Joe Browns!My Profile

    Reply
  25. Mirka Moore @Fitness4Mamas @Kahanka

    Thanks lovely for asking me and including me in this utterly amazing and inspirational post. Love all the quotes and pearls of wisdom av
    Mirka Moore @Fitness4Mamas @Kahanka recently posted…I am a Finalist #BLAwards2015 – Vote for Fitness 4 MamasMy Profile

    Reply
  26. Babes about Town

    Wow, what a bunch of ballsy, sussed out and totally FABULOUS women. I’m impressed and inspired! And I can’t believe I tapped out my ‘genius’ on my phone to send you last night and promptly crashed. Hubby found me passed out on sofa with drool hanging from lip, sent me to bed… some #guru eh? Never mind, next time you request my wisdom, I’ll be armed and ready hehe.

    This is wonderful, I’m so glad you reached out to real women because I find the most inspiration from the people I know, including my own kids (sometimes even that old mister of mine). And you Vicki have been a massive source of encouragement, sisterhood and motivation. Your joyful spirit and risk-taking creativity keeps me pushing for my dreams and laughing all the way. Great, great post x
    Babes about Town recently posted…Underground Film Club: Inside Out (+ Win an LG TV)!My Profile

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Oh Uju, sat here with tears in my eyes reading your words. As Alexander would say, ‘I love you SOOOOOOO much’. You inspire me and are a #guru to me so in Jan, you are first up in the next post or I’m giving you one of your own OK. Much love and love your were drooling, that is me most nights xxx

      Reply
  27. Alexandra @imeverymum

    This is a beautiful post. So much wisdom. A lot of these have helped me over my life. Nice to have them reaffirmed and to feel motivated this morning. Thank you for sharing xxx
    Alexandra @imeverymum recently posted…Breakfast Treat & Toddlers Buying Gifts | Advent #2My Profile

    Reply
  28. lizzie ( firstooth )

    This really made me smile, very inspiring and if we can all live our lives using those quotes I think we’d all feel more comfortable in our skin and happy. Have to share this with my friends!! Thanks for hosting #brilliantblogposts
    lizzie ( firstooth ) recently posted…Pizza QuesidillaMy Profile

    Reply
  29. Natalie Trice

    Just sat and read this twice with a coffee.
    First thank you for asking me to take part, totally flattered.
    Second thank you for being such an inspiration and flying the flag for all of us.
    Third, what a bunch of amazing women.
    Happy Thursday one and all.
    x

    Reply
  30. Mum Reinvented

    Fantastic post and I certainly needed to remind myself of quite a few of those pearls of wisdom x
    Mum Reinvented recently posted…Your Guide to Attending a ChristeningMy Profile

    Reply
  31. Mim

    I adore this post – I live my life on optimism and positivity as much as I can and this post is filled to the brim with both. I couldn’t agree more with being your true self, not trying to be someone else and never apologising for being the person you are – I’m proud to be a strong minded, strong willed, strong woman – and aspire to be even more so after reading this 🙂 PS totally loving the problem page idea – can’t bloody wait, so retro and awesome x #brilliantblogposts
    Mim recently posted…Today is a GOOD day!My Profile

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Thanks so much, we sound so similar, I hope we get to meet one day and so glad you like the sound of the Problem Page, I grew up with those and thought it was time we brought it back xx

      Reply
  32. Pen

    Hi,

    Some great life lessons here. My life has been really challenging this year…but out of our biggest challenges come out greatest achievements. That’s my motto.
    Pen recently posted…Etre bien dans la peauMy Profile

    Reply
  33. Kat | Beau Twins

    What an inspiring post gorgeous lady. This has most certainly started my Thursday off in a positive way indeed. Bookmarking for the future. You are a very wise lady abd surrounded by such incredible women. Law of attraction at work in powerful way. Thank you so much for including me beautiful. So blessed to be a part of this positive and inspirational post. Big love always. 2016 is going to be amazing on so many levels. Xxxxx
    Kat | Beau Twins recently posted…The Christmas Holiday Activity Checklist – Collaboration PostMy Profile

    Reply

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