This post was originally going to be dedicated to several famous women and their words of wisdom (I’m a bit obsessed with collecting these kernels-see my Pinterest Board Wise Words for evidence)- but then I had second thoughts-why not ask the women in my life whom are my friends, colleagues and collaborators, to share their pearls of wisdom instead?!
Their words are just as important, if not more so, than those famous women I don’t even know beyond the confines of publicists and the media.
Below are women who are real to me, whose words touch and resonate, truly.
But look Bey, if you’re reading this, we can still totes be mates!
So, sit down, take five and simply absorb and relish the wisdom here from so many great women I admire.
Kick-ass ladies, jugglers, survivors, sisters, wise owls and true mates-I know you’re going to LOVE this post!
First up I’m going to kick of proceedings with words from my new business partner, the awesome TV Pyschologist Emma Kenny on her key to a happy life.
Her words literally gave me goosebumps!
HOW TO BE HAPPY
‘The key to a happy life is to be unashamedly yourself, without apology, without regret and to ensure you live that life surrounded by the people who truly love and respect you. Great relationships are the key to happiness and all relationships start with the self’.
YES, YES and YES. I love this so much! Thank you Emma!
Emma and I are collaborating on several projects next year with a problem page #ProblemShared going live in January so if you have any problems you need support with, contact me (confidentially too).
Check out Emma’s super site Switch: your new approach to health, self, diet and fitness.
Another partner of mine, is the incredible entrepreneur and publicist Jessice Huie MBE-I just adore her words. What an inspiration.
HOW TO BE SUCCESSFUL
‘In order to be successful you have to make yourself vulnerable. If you aren’t feeling uncomfortable or stretched then you are playing in the safe zone…
Whenever I have felt I don’t belong, I’m not good enough, or incapable, if I’ve jumped then, magic has happened. I don’t think that success lies beyond our safe zone, I know it to be true’.
Jessica Huie MBE
Next up some thoughts from me with lessons my Mama and Papa have taught me-
I know this sounds so utterly obvious but often we are scared to show others our true selves for fear they might not understand, like us and worst of all, reject us out right, but it’s so important to simply be yourself. To be honest, true and genuine. Come to terms with not being able to please everyone and honour who you are. Once you do, it’s so incredibly liberating!
TRUST YOUR GUT
This has never failed me yet, even when I’ve tried to ignore it and overcome those niggly feelings, they’ve always proved themselves right. That visceral feeling something or someone feels ‘off’, be it ‘bad’ boyfriends of the past or friendships doomed to fail, follow your gut.
It’s also important to learn to distinguish between actual fear and insecurity. Often we allow lack of confidence or feeling anxious to stop us from accomplishing our goals-so know when you might be hampering yourself, or the alarm bells are ringing for a reason.
LIVE LIFE TO THE FULL
This I get from my Dad, Papa G (an honorary woman here) who, more than anyone, certainly lives life to the full-a man bursting with charisma and joy, Papa G is the life and soul of the party.
He won’t let anyone or thing limit him or his life experiences and potential (watching him film something for telly this year and his sheer ambition is inspiring).
Thanks to him, I take chances and risks and try to make our days, most of the time, as exciting as possible. To living a meaningful, but also a fun life.
Now it’s over to some awesome ladies to share their wisdom too.
In the comments, please leave your own wise words.
Let’s share, support and lift one another up!
MAKE PEACE WITH YOUR PAST
‘Make peace with your past no matter how dark it is, otherwise it will haunt you forever!’
Renée, Mummy Tries
SEEK OUT THE POSITIVES
‘I cannot tell you how potentially soul-destroying it is to be surrounded by a constant undercurrent of negativity. Part of me wants to react to it with further negativity – having a bad mood in reaction to all of the negative thoughts.
BUT, I absolutely refuse to subscribe to this negative way of thinking.
I hadn’t realised until recently, but I tend to take a proactive way of thinking instead of a reactive one. And I believe with some readjustment, everyone has the potential to be proactive instead of reactive.
For me, it’s about continually thinking outside of the box, ‘the box’ being the negative place that others are stuck in.
Striving to not be bogged down by what seems like a bad situation, but instead finding the positives of that situation and using them constructively.’
TURN AWAY FROM NEGATIVITY
‘I guess my key life advice is about avoiding negativity.
It’s about learning to bend and give with what life throws at you, not forcing life to fit your preconceived notions.
It’s about acceptance and grace.
Don’t look for petty confrontation because you will surely find it all around, but turn and walk away, conserve you energies and view these annoyances as distant vibrations.
Learn to nurture yourself’
THIS TOO SHALL PASS
If there’s anything I’ve learned over the past few months with the sad passing of my Father and an operation to remove a tumour in my neck, it’s that these words my wise and wonderful Mother taught me are so, so true…
They remind me not only that life goes on and so much is fleeting in retrospect but also to savour each and every moment’
OTHER PEOPLE’S STORIES
Don’t make them your own.
Release your attachment to other people’s views about you. It doesn’t have to be in a negative way, there is no wrong or right, we all have to accept that there is difference. What is right for me, may not be right for you and vice versa.
If someone doesn’t like you, then be detached enough from it to understand that it’s not always about you, so often it’s about them.
It doesn’t mean that you abdicate responsibility for your behaviour, words or actions, but once you have examined yourself and are at peace, then you can accept that perhaps their reactions are based on what they are feeling, what they are going through, the prism through which they see life.
It’s not always about us – that’s where ego comes in – but with being detached from the outcome of interactions with other people we can be true to ourselves and allow others space to decipher their own stories.
Zaz, Mama and More
YOU KNOW YOUR KIDS BETTER THAN ANYONE
‘NEVER compare yourself to anyone else. That shiny hair, smart clothes and sleeping baby might look impressive but behind closed doors we all have our meltdowns, wear our pjs and get sick in our hair!
Ask for help if you need – there are no medals for struggling.
Eat cake, drink coffee and enjoy vodka.
Always trust your instincts as a mother. You know your children better than anyone and if your gut is nagging you, there is usually a reason why’
COMPARISON IS THE THIEF OF JOY
‘I used to suffer terribly from comparing myself and measuring my own success against others. I would often berate myself when when comparing to others and it is complete confidence killer.
I have had to retrain myself (and it was hard) to not compare. We are all different! And that is what makes us who we are in all our wonderfulness’.
Rachel the HatYosa
‘Not everyone will like you, and that’s okay. Confidence is a state of mind. Perfection is overrated. The little things ARE the big things. Love is all you need’.
ON CREATING ART
Below is what Amee says to her son when he gets frustrated when drawing or playing an instrument, or to friends when they’re feeling too self-critical or despondent, or even herself when she’s being too self-critical:
‘There’s a saying, ‘you have to make bad art before you can make good art.’ I think this carries across to all fields, not just art and design. Nobody is born an expert – when we see success we see the finished product of years and years of mistakes, dead ends, and terrible work that never sees the light of day.
The people that we admire are just like us – they weren’t born ready, they just keep ploughing on until the bad art becomes good, or good enough. Have faith – skill is mostly just perseverance’.
‘Always try your best, work hard and dream big. Love with all your heart, be grateful for at least one thing every day. Love and be loved and if you can make someone’s day better, do it! Oh and avoid lame ducks’.
ON WANTING TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE
‘Ultimately, my advice to anyone who will listen all comes down to control – and taking back control in areas of your life where you’ve lost it – that might be to do with the way you eat, your lack of exercise, being unhappy at work, being complacent with the state of the relationship you have with your partner, or a difficult friendship that is bringing you down: whatever the issue, I truly believe that regaining control and ownership and looking at ways to alleviate/solve the problem is the only way to move forward.
Waiting around for a magic wand/lottery win/husband to have a personality change isn’t likely to happen, and relying on everyone else around you to make things better, will only leave you disappointed.
Relying on yourself, your own strength, your ingenuity and ability to cope and problem solve – that’s a whole other ball game!
I realised that it is me alone that holds the responsibility to ensure my own happiness, of course plenty of people can add to my happiness and contentment in life, but ultimately I’m in charge, and if there’s something I don’t like and I’m not happy with, then I need to change it – no more burying my head in the sand and waiting for others to solve my problems.
Some phrases that I find useful when it comes to health/weight in particular are:
‘I don’t find the time to exercise, I MAKE the time to exercise’.
‘Losing weight is hard. Being fat is hard. Pick your hard’.
ON YOUR GOALS
‘Thanks to training and running three marathons I have learnt that if you put hard work into something, stick to your plans, you will achieve what you want to achieve. I apply this not only to my fitness plans, but also my life philosophy.
Since my dad passed away……
-Make sure you make the most of every day, enjoy little things and treasure them’.
‘Never stop learning. Ask questions of everyone you meet, and don’t feel embarrassed if you don’t know something, as this can be quickly and easily rectified. True ignorance is assuming you know it all, not admitting that you don’t.’
‘You are enough the way you are, don’t try to be like anyone else because you are special, unique, individual.
Try not to worry too much what others think – they are not as bothered as you think they are anyway! Kindness wins every time, but don’t waste your time on those who take advantage of that.
Find those who love and value you for who you are and don’t let them go. Celebrate and support others – it will make you feel good, too. Get outside and feel the sunshine on your skin – there are few better feelings in the world’.
Leigh, Headspace Perspective
Wow! So many pearls of wisdom, this is definitely my most favourite post of all time.
Thanks to all who contributed.
I will be running more of these so there will be plenty of opportunity for others to share their thoughts too if you want to join in next time!
Woohoo! I’m feeling refreshed, strong and ready to face the world.