Vicki-Honest MumOverly oversharing?

It’s just my opinion but I’ve experienced a lot of ‘over-sharing’ of late on various social networking sites.

No, I don’t want to know when you last had sex, did a poo or ate at Nandos.

Enough with the adding location/checking in shizzle please. Great for stalkers/loons and ex-boyfriends to find you but you didn’t think of that did you? I get it, we’re all guilty of wanting to appear cool/ being seen in all the right places/ with all the right people/having a ‘brilliant’ life/ clever/beautiful kids…(fill the gaps)… it’s just started to bore the bejeezles out of me.

Your literally thousands of (*clears throat) ‘close’ friends online too, know more about you than your own family. Is that a good thing?

I also worry that people don’t consider how easy it is for current/future employers/ees to find out pretty much everything about you. Pictures of you giving birth might seem a bit a personal pre-interview.

Apply those private settings or just don’t add them on Twitter- and by all means, if it’s cathartic for you, share what you feel is appropriate but ‘appropriate’ is the operative word. If you wouldn’t discuss it in public, please for goodness sake don’t discuss it on a global platform. PR companies now exist specialising in ‘reputation management’ who help brand you online.

If you wouldn’t discuss it in public, please for goodness sake don’t discuss it on a global platform. PR companies now exist specialising in ‘reputation management’ who help brand you online.

Google is the first port of call for future employers so rants on public forums, bad reviews you’ve posted and drunken pictures can be found and effortlessly.

Yes blogging is a great way to share/discuss/debate matters personal and public but I for one always filter what I write, it’s impossible not to and friends and family read my posts so how could I not?!

I’d also like my kids to read my ramblings one day so I try to keep that at the back of my mind when I write. (Sorry I’ve sworn a lot in this one kiddies).

So take a moment and think. Do you want the world to read what you write? If so, great, just maybe consider if it might come back and bite you in the ass down the line and no, we don’t need to see you giving birth on FB.

Keep those for the family album.

Some things are sacred. Aren’t they?

Where do you stand on this?

Updated post.

 

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Over-sharing Anyone? - Honest Mum

 

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23 Responses

  1. Liz Weston aka @cambridgemummy

    Now this is an interesting one. If it’s about someone else, then yes, there should be self censorshhip because it could impact on them.

    But if it’s about you, and your boobs, or childbirth story and you want to share it, you should be able to. People can choose to not keep reading, or to not read your blog again.
    My blog is just my random thoughts. It’s not a comedy blog, or a crafting blog, it’s just me thinking about stuff and putting it out there, so if someone doesn’t like it, it’s ok, I wont’ be offended if they don’t come back…

    I don’t see what the problem is with photos of your wedding on FB. Every photo of mine is set to Friends only, so should I ever be going back to working for someone else, rather than myself, I wouldn’t be worried about it.

    Like you said, each to their own, to establish their own boundaries of what works for them, and if it’s not for you, you can go somewhere else. Simples 🙂

    Reply
    • honestmum

      @Liz thanks for your comments. I agree, if you have the correct privacy settings on your FB page etc that’s fine but there are a lot of people (and it’s easy to do) who I feel are sharing perhaps a little too much and controlling who sees what from hundreds of friends is not as easy as it sounds. Of course it is all relative and utterly personal but I do believe some things are sacred and should be kept that way for you and your family. You hit it on the nail when you said you have to establish boundaries.

      Reply
  2. Michelle Twin Mum

    Hmm, you have got me thinking now. I fear I overshare but mostly I do it with the intention of helping someone else who might be in the same situation and I am pretty open in real life too and will share embarassing stuff to help someone else, so I guess it is just me.

    Mich x

    Reply
    • honestmum

      You sound like a wonderful woman Michelle. I think it’s more the people who feel the need to share the most personal of things that sometimes cross the line of being appropriate but that line is different for everyone. I follow the rule of if you’d say it in public, then put it online. Thanks for your comment x

      Reply
  3. (Mostly) Yummy Mummy

    Oh lordy I think I am one of those over-sharing folk. I even put pictures of my breakfast on Instagram for goodness sake. Although a bit like @Alexander Residence I do have my own ‘rules’ and there are some things that I wouldn’t dream of sharing 😉

    Reply
  4. mum of all trades

    My 9 year old was reading my blog over my shoulder one day and said quite sternly, ‘I hope you don’t put anything about me in that mummy, my friends could read it’.
    He was totally right. I would hate to think soemone in school would drag up a cutesy picture or story about him and use it to tease him.

    Reply
  5. Sharcasm

    Very relevant post and I couldn’t agree more, from a consumers’ perspective as well as PR professional’s perspective. From a personal perspective, I’ve curbed my tweeting and now tweet more effectively, i.e. about my work and perhaps my opinion on things happening in the world of orn television, but far less about my private life. And even though Facebook is password protected and usually a platform to interact on a personal level, it is still astounding to me how many people put compromising or unflattering pictures of themselves on FB.

    I like how you stated that if you wouldn’t discuss something in public why put it on Twitter or FB, that right there is the whole point.

    From a PR perspective, reputation is key, advertising is no longer the driving force behind someone’s decision to buy something. And where are reputations formed, right online, by the consumer who has carte blanche to say whatever they want about a brand and become prime influencers.

    The problem is people are constantly trying to define and re-define who they are on these social networks and they don’t realise what the consequences could be.

    Reply
    • honestmum

      Thank you for sharing your professional and personal experience about online reputations Sharcasm. Really interesting points and I definately see a change in the way people are approaching how they come across online. One pro as you mentioned is there is greater people power. I complained about the upsetting treatment I received at a well known high street shop on Twitter after leaving the branch in tears and the matter was resolved and rectified within days. I cannot imagine that happening without the power of Twitter at least at such speed. The downside is people forget the internet is decentralised so a mad rant at 2am on a forum will usually (unless hugely offensive) remain there, making an indellible mark on your persona forever. Scary.

      Reply
  6. Alexander Residence

    Great post!
    There is a part of me that kind of likes looking at Twitter and seeing the tiniest bits of people’s lives mixed with global news. Sometimes it’s reassuring to know people are just doing ordinary stuff. Although some people take ordinary stuff to the extreme. But I def like you have parameters on things. There’s no way I will talk about, in no particular order sex, potty training, bodily functions. My appropriateness compass is would I share this story in public with people I had just met? Most the time I reckon I stay on track, but we all waver occasionally!

    Reply
    • honestmum

      Thanks @Alexander Residence I like your ‘no no’ list and think this needs to be distributed to new tweeters as a set of rules. I agree about the occasional waver. We human after all so it’s allowed.

      Reply
  7. helloitsgemma

    agree, agree, agree. I find twitter more problematic for this – come on I don’t need to know your every move, every moment of the day and for the sake of your own life and family – step away from tweeting. But I guess on FB I have blocked those that over share.
    Would say I also filter but have set my FB setting so that I don’t appear in any google search, same for twitter.

    Reply
    • honestmum

      @Helloitsgemma good point about the google filter, that was one of the first things I did. I wanted people to find me for my film work not my personal profile.

      Reply
  8. EmmaK

    I am a classic blog oversharer although as more people read my blog ie people I know here I really can’t write anything juicy about them in case they read it. So my hands are tied at this stage and I am self censoring.

    Reply
    • honestmum

      I hear you Emma. There are a few times I’d like to have commented about aquantainces but it shocks me how many people actually read my posts. I’ve got a big family so that keeps Google Analytics going!

      Reply
  9. iammrsc

    I could not agree more! I’m too busy getting on with it to tweet about it or updating my status with every mind numbing detail of my day. Its completely ” TMI”
    i’m not a prolific tweeter i have adopted rather a sit back and observe style when it comes to social networking, this is actually the first comment i have ever
    left! I’m sure I’m sure i’m percieved boring by my online friends. Oh well!

    Reply
    • honestmum

      Well I’m honoured you’ve come here to comment. Ironically you’ve lost your social network/blogg commenting virginity on a post about social networking. Brilliant.

      Reply
  10. honestmum

    @BangsandaBun knew you would approve. The crap online makes me squirm! @Kate haha, I agree. Bejeezles is so underused in the English language!

    Reply
  11. Bangs and a Bun

    Couldn’t agree more with this post. I find it utterly jaw dropping what people will publish online. I’ve seen a new mothers happily update their entire social networks on the state of their nipples (exhibit A of ‘shit you should keep to yourself’) and once saw a girl talking about a bout of thrush she was experiencing – I mean, what the &%

    Reply

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