So those reading my blog last week will know, it was a pretty rubbish time for myself and Alexander. A lot of tears were shed (by us both).
The nursery induction was hard going, which was inevitable but it was worse than I expected, Alexander was beside himself and despite another session with me staying with him, he just wasn’t settling, my toddler wasn’t ready.
Firstly, thank you all that read and commented on Starting Nursery-the Heart Wrench, your comments made my day of hell so much easier to deal with. Your words touched me when my heart was breaking. When I felt I’d abandoned my baby. When he felt I’d abandoned him.
I wonder if being the youngest and being young for a 2 year old makes a difference. His vocabulary is wide but his emotional maturity seems less than my eldest at his age.
And what’s more, since the induction, he’s become more clingy, cried for me when he was with my Mum, previously unheard of and has just not been himself.
So I’ve made the decision to leave things for 2 months and reassess. To not return to nursery until he’s a little older. Maybe in 2 months, maybe more. We’re playing it by ear.
My Mum’s foot is getting better, I have a lovely lady who comes to the house a few times a week for half days to watch him so I can work and although the juggle that is freelance life can sometimes make me want to pull my hair out, on the whole I have the best of both worlds-a job I LOVE which stimulates me (thank you blog) and lots of time with my family for drop off, pick up, dinner and bedtime!
Yes I burn the midnight oil far too much but I’m content, my kids are happy and if my youngest son needs more time, that’s fine with me.
I realise I’m lucky I have a choice, that I can work all night if I need to meet deadlines and although my job is full time, it’s flexible and can work around my kids.
…Thankfully the nursery are incredible: supportive, understanding and of course happy to wait until we want to return. They trust that I know my child best and want to do what makes us both feel comfortable.
And I do feel happy. I know I’ve made the right decision. Nursery can wait. I’m not sure either of us were ready really.
These days are the times of our lives and having my youngest with me for longer is something to cherish. That much I know.
Toy photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash
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