So those reading my blog last week will know, it was a pretty rubbish time for myself and Alexander. A lot of tears were shed (by us both).
The nursery induction was hard going, which was inevitable but it was worse than I expected, Alexander was beside himself and despite another session with me staying with him, he just wasn’t settling, my toddler wasn’t ready.
Firstly, thank you all that read and commented on Starting Nursery-the Heart Wrench, your comments made my day of hell so much easier to deal with. Your words touched me when my heart was breaking. When I felt I’d abandoned my baby. When he felt I’d abandoned him.
I wonder if being the youngest and being young for a 2 year old makes a difference. His vocabulary is wide but his emotional maturity seems less than my eldest at his age.
And what’s more, since the induction, he’s become more clingy, cried for me when he was with my Mum, previously unheard of and has just not been himself.
So I’ve made the decision to leave things for 2 months and reassess. To not return to nursery until he’s a little older. Maybe in 2 months, maybe more. We’re playing it by ear.
My Mum’s foot is getting better, I have a lovely lady who comes to the house a few times a week for half days to watch him so I can work and although the juggle that is freelance life can sometimes make me want to pull my hair out, on the whole I have the best of both worlds-a job I LOVE which stimulates me (thank you blog) and lots of time with my family for drop off, pick up, dinner and bedtime!
Yes I burn the midnight oil far too much but I’m content, my kids are happy and if my youngest son needs more time, that’s fine with me.
I realise I’m lucky I have a choice, that I can work all night if I need to meet deadlines and although my job is full time, it’s flexible and can work around my kids.
…Thankfully the nursery are incredible: supportive, understanding and of course happy to wait until we want to return. They trust that I know my child best and want to do what makes us both feel comfortable.
And I do feel happy. I know I’ve made the right decision. Nursery can wait. I’m not sure either of us were ready really.
These days are the times of our lives and having my youngest with me for longer is something to cherish. That much I know.
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HUGE well done (and an even HUGER sigh of relief I’m sure) – absolutely right to follow your heart and do what your mama heart says is right for you both, all, and take it step by step – I agree absolutely with first comment that you’ll know when it’s right, and each baby is different, we’re all different grown up after all (!!!), something I always have to remind myself. MUCH love and well done and hope you have a much more peaceful, happy, make the most of these days time – even if it means a bit of crunching and rejigging! I can relate to that!! XXXX
Thanks darling, I know I’ve made the right choice and feel relieved and happy, lucky you are right as a freelancer I can rejig things, thanks for your lovely comment! xx
Darling Vicki, each child is different and the very best parents recognise that and take their lead. You will both know when the time is right. Much love H x
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Thanks so much Hayley for your wise, supportive words. Know this is the right thing x
Oh I really don’t blame you at all. I did the same with my son earlier this year. I started him at nursery and he was devastated so I made the decision to keep him at home with me. A few people were a little bit critical but I knew it was the right thing to do. He started at pre-school a few weeks ago and LOVES it. He’s so happy because it was simply the right time for him. Trust your instincts, my dear. You know best xx
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Oh Rachel thank you so much for this, it really backs up what I know is right for Alexander, thank you and I’m so glad your son is happy at pre-school x
Absolutely, go with your gut and your own timing. Very glad to read this post and to hear you’ve come to a decision that makes sense for you. There really is no rush and these are the days, my friend, they really are. It goes so fast so enjoy every moment with your littlest one xoxo
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Thanks darling and for your wise words on my other post and here, really know I’ve done the right thing xx
Good for you Vicki. It’s often harder to go back on our decisions and realise that perhaps now is not the right time, and it sounds like you’ve thought carefully about what is right for you all. Bless him, and he is lucky too that you are able to make this choice xxx
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Thanks darling, we are really lucky to have so much support from my folks and that my job is flexible! Thanks for all your support x
You have to do what you think is the best option for both of you, and if you think it’s the best to wait, then it is. Nothing is worse than you both being upset, and maybe in 2 months he will be ready 😉
Thanks darling, feel so much better now!
Mum knows best, good call. Plenty of time for nursery. You will know when the time is right x
Thanks, I will xx
“Mum knows best”, as the saying goes. xx
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So true hun x
Well done for standing up to what you feel is best for you both and not feeling under pressure to conform to others. You will know when the time is right in the mean time enjoy your time together.
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Thanks Fiona, I feel really good about it x
You know him best & it does sound like you’ve absolutely made the right decision. He has plenty of time to start nursery & as his mummy you will know when he is ready xx
Thanks so much Keri for your support x
Oh lovely, that really does sound like the right decision. It’s so tough this parenting malarkey but I’m so glad you’ve found a solution to something that was causing you so much distress xx
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Thanks honey, feel so much better x
Oh Vicki, it sounds like you have both had a tough time. 2 months is a long time in the life of a toddler, so I’m sure things will be easier then. Sounds like you’ve made the right decision.
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Thanks darling, you are so right, it is a long time for a little one, thanks for your support x
You’ve completely made the right decision, if he’s not ready then it’s no biggy. Enjoy his babyhood, he is only little once.
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Thanks lovely, feel glad in the decision I’ve made.
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Sounds like it’s the right decision for you guys, and lucky that your work allows the flexibility and that the nursery will. Some I’ve heard of can be a right pain if you want to take even a shorter break because they’re so oversubscribed.
Hopefully it’ll give you both chance to enjoy time together again, and for him to be able to prepare for what it can be like – the opportunity to enjoy time away from you rather than the upset he felt. Such a tough decision. I think I was lucky in that N’s been there from 11 months, and has felt at home at both his day nursery and then starting at nursery school as well. But all children are so different and that’s where as parents you feel pressure and right/wrong for these things that are so important.
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You are so right, so glad your little one settled well and I do think it’s easier the younger they are. I think this way, hopefully when he starts again, he won’t remember all the anguish as much and be better prepared to deal with me leaving, I am so lucky my blogging job and the nursery can support this too, thanks for your kind words x
This sounds like the right decision for you my lovely. Am glad you have such a lovely nursery and well done for having the confidence in your own gut decisions for what is right for you both. Hugs xxx
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Aw thanks so much sweetie, really feel like I’ve made the right decision for us. Thanks for your kind words, your support and everyone else’s has meant the bloody world to me x
Nursery will still be there in a couple of months and if they are flexible then totally take advantage of that. It won’t be long before he is ready I’m sure!
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Thanks Annwen, they are amazing and I’m really grateful to them, they always put the child first and I know in time, he’ll be ready, thanks for your kind words x
You’re so right that you know your kids best. My son turned 2 this month, and I know he wouldn’t be ready yet, though his sister may well have been at the same age – they’re like chalk and cheese! Great that the nursery are understanding and supportive of your decision and that you are both happy with it, too x
Thanks so much darling, you are so right, every child is different and I feel so relieved with this decision x
Aww! It does sound like you are doing the right thing. Good luck x
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Thanks Kim and for all your support, means a lot x
Good for you beaut! You do whatever is best for you and your family. That’s all that matters. I will wait for my boy to go the year before he should start pre-school. So next September. I am glad you are happy with your decision and I bet you are sleeping a lot better! x
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Thanks darling, I really am, can breathe again! Aw sounds like the best time for you lovely xx
I’m so glad you’ve made a decision that you feel happy with. There is no rush for him to go to nursery and like you said your lucky enough to be able to have him home with you a little longer and make the most of these days with them that fly by so fast. He’ll get there eventually. Xx
Thanks darling, yep think it’s best for us both right now, thanks for your support x
NOBODY knows your kids like you do and it’s so great that your nursery understand and respect this as many wouldn’t. How lovely to have your cutie home with you a little longer. x
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Thanks darling you are so right, they are an amazing nursery and I know it’s the right thing for right now x
Sounds like you’re doing the right thing hon. Two months is a long time for a toddler and a lot can change. You’re very lucky to be in a position to delay, and I’m sure Alexander knows just how lucky he is to have his mummy around. There is nothing worse than leaving a distressed child with someone else, utterly heartbreaking. I’m so pleased you’ve come to a good solution lovely xx
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Thanks so much sweetie, last week was utterly heartbreaking and I knew deep down he just wasn’t ready and nor was I. Thanks for your lovely words and your support, it’s meant so much to x
I think it’s brilliant that you decided to take a step back and try him again when hes ready. I would do the same in your situ though my little girls not yet two. Hope he settles again for you soon! x
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Thanks Vicki, really pleased with this decision and feels like I’ve taken control of a distressing time in our lives. I’m sure there will be more tears down the line which I expect but hopefully he’ll be more ready then, thanks for your words x
Good for you! It’s such a difficult time but you know Alexander. He wasn’t himself on Wednesday at all and I thought then I bet this is a reaction to being in nursery the day before. Just because he’s not ready now doesn’t mean he won’t be in a few months time. I think it’s a really sensible approach… like mine to getting Reuben to eat new things. Just keep trying and one day it might fit! His vocab is so good, one day he’ll probably just tell you he’s ready.
Keep talking to him about it, make it sound fun and exciting, about all the cool things he’ll get to do, but reassure him that there’s no pressure and he can go if/when he wants to 🙂
Loads of love xxx
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Such wise advice darling, thanks so much. He wasn’t himself at all when we met, so quiet and unwell, had a virus and then I found out he also has a penicillin allergy. More than anything, he just isn’t ready so I’m pleased we are taking our time, thanks for all your support x