Photo by Martin Shreder on Unsplash

So earlier today, after some thought, I decided to make my social media a little less social and a lot more meaningful. Take FB for example. I had nearly a 1000 friends on my personal page and couldn’t even place at least 200 of them. I couldn’t recognise who they were, let alone could call them a ‘friend’.

I also had tons of people I never connect with on that handle or know despite following on other platforms- and with a public blog page and of course FB’s option to allow anyone to follow your public statuses, I decided to carve out a space just for me. A place I can simply share anything I fancy with people online as I would in real life.

So I know what you’re thinking, why not just unfollow lots of peeps?

Because that doesn’t stop others from seeing my own pictures and statuses.

…So simply set up another page?

Yep, tried that last year but the way FB promotes itself meant a lot of people (again, mostly those I barely knew) would request to add me again- so making a clean break seemed best.

A spring clean in the summer if you like.

And here’s the thing. I don’t think anyone cares a dot anyway. The people I wasn’t connecting with weren’t connecting with me either so it’s all good.

It also wasn’t anything personal to anyone, it’s my fault I accepted friend requests when I wasn’t sure who those people were etc or stayed friends with those I don’t really know, or now, no longer know.

Because that’s life, you move on and it’s normal to outgrow people and they, you.

Friendships don’t have to last forever.  And just because you like people you’ve met a few times in real life, doesn’t mean they have to be your mate online.

…While I’m a public facing blogger and vlogger and love what I do, I think we all, whatever our jobs, deserve a personal space online.

On insta, twitter, FB, wherever.

So why am I writing this?

Because a lot of other bloggers read this site and going from the (public) status I wrote on my personal page about #cullgate and not wanting to offend anyone, other bloggers had said they felt inspired to do the same.

And it’s not just blogger who feel obliged to accept and retain ‘friendships’ online.

We need to liberate ourselves.

It’s not our duty to be mates with the world, folks.

It’s not unkind to recognise you can’t possibly have an interest/ bond with that many people.

I don’t even have a hundred let alone a thousand friends IRL. Who does?

And, for me it’s come at a time I want a little more control of my online life.

I use Linkedin for work related contacts and twitter, and simply want to keep my personal FB page to well, feel a little more personal.

Yes, I will still share public statuses and blog posts on my personal page- and as FB has a follow button, those who are interested in following me can, but I also want to feel comfortable to share more private moments too.

Just because you blog and vlog doesn’t mean you have to share everything.

I’m selective over what I share on this site- and that’s exactly what makes blogging and vlogging so empowering. Yes you can’t control people’s reactions, but you CAN control your output.

 

So why not operate in the same way on FB or any other social media platforms.

Your profile, your rules, I say.

You just need the confidence.

You don’t have to people-please.

Do what makes you happy.

I’d love to read your thoughts.

 

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Making Your Social Media, Less Social. Why It's OK to Make Your Personal FB Page, Personal - Honest Mum

 

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20 Responses

  1. Cathy

    I think you have raised an interesting point Vicki and you are not the first person I have come across who has done this. You may well inspire others to do the same.

    Reply
  2. Estelle

    Hi Vicki 🙂 Thanks for this thoughts! Sometimes I feel a bit overwhelmed by all the social media management. And I completely agree on your post, because it’s so important to keep a part of privacy 🙂
    Estelle recently posted…What’s good to read in August?My Profile

    Reply
  3. wendy

    Completely agree. I have a locked down personal Facebook page, and never accept friend requests from anyone I don’t know in real life.
    wendy recently posted…Modern day v “olden days”parentingMy Profile

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      That’s good, I have friends online I haven’t met but feel close to but for the most part, it’s people I feel connected to now!

      Reply
  4. Emma T

    I totally agree. My facebook profile is personal. I don’t accept friend requests from random bloggers when I’ve not met them, don’t know their name and don’t know their blog. I have to class them as a friend and know them in real life to have them as a FB friend. It amazes me how some bloggers sent friend requests, but have obviously never met me or spoken to me online let alone in real life.

    I do have lots of friends on there – mostly from my dancing days when I knew lots of people and was the reason I was on FB in the first place, to keep up with everything going on. I could probably get round to removing some, but just do it as and when I see them pop up.

    I think with all the other more public profiles, FB is the only one that’s sacred (especially if you have a blog page for others to follow – although I use that one more often than my profile nowadays). I’m all for slinging FB friends off when you don’t know them/chat with them.
    Emma T recently posted…Living Arrows 2016 week 30 – happy camperMy Profile

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Thanks Emma, it’s so easy to simply collect friends isn’t it. I just feel with a public page, it was time to make FB more personal. I literally couldn’t put a name to a face on there with so many which was just ridiculous. There were also lots I like to follow elsewhere but rarely connected with on FB x

      Reply
  5. Coco Cana

    Even though I have a mom’s blog, I do not usually share personal info about my kids and photos of their faces. It’s always been a personal thing for me to want to protect and preserve their privacy. I would not have wanted my mom to share every little detail about me growing up along with photos to prove it. So I think it’s great that you are making a private space for yourself online to share more personal moments with people you care about and who care about you. I gave up Facebook years ago but came back for a short while because a friend of mine had a baby with a rare heart cond. and that is where she was keeping everyone updated. But before that I deleted everyone off of there except for about 5 ppl. Seriously. 5. ? It’s very liberating. But you are on enough public platforms where ppl can follow you so don’t give it a second thought about deleting ppl and carving out some privacy. We need more of that these days. And our children need us mom bloggers to tone it down a bit too. They are humans too who deserve some online privacy. (PS:sorry if there are typos. On my phone and it’s being a toddler rn!?)
    Coco Cana recently posted…2016 A Year Of Gratitude: Appreciating The Quiet MomentsMy Profile

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Thanks for this Coco, it’s such a personal thing isn’t it. I don’t mind sharing my kids’ faces or lives on here and on social media (I totally respect and understand why that’s not for everyone though)- and there is so much I don’t share too but I really need to carve out one space where it feels more private. I love that you can post publicly there too and people can follow if they want but that I have the option to control the private things I want to share. Thanks for your comment x

      Reply
  6. natasha

    I love this post Vicki! I go through phases where I brutally remove everyone who isnt a friend. Then I think ‘Hang on, maybe i should just let anyone be a friend.’ I accept a load of people which is fine, until my feed becomes unrecognisable….. URGH!!! Currently I’m in the accepting phase ! gimme another month and I’ll be removing people again 🙂

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Haha been there, it’s so tough isn’t it. I just feel like I need a space that feels more like home, you know x

      Reply
  7. Lins @ Boo & Maddie

    I totally agree with this! When that ice bucket challenge thing happened I curtailed my Facebook ‘friends’ from about 650 down to just around 100 and it felt so empowering. I realised that for FB I just wanted to keep it to good friends and family and feel much better for it x

    Reply
  8. Kat | Beau Twins

    Good for you beautiful. It feels so good doesn’t it? Like getting a piece of your life back. Big love gorgeous. Xxx
    Kat | Beau Twins recently posted…The Importance of a Dining Table for FamiliesMy Profile

    Reply
  9. Alexandra | I'm Every Mum

    Yay you for just going for it. It must feel so liberating just to know you’ve got to a place where you’re allowing yourself to not care what others think and take back a bit of power for your life. Hope that others who are wanting to do the same will feel inspired to go for it after reading this.

    Reply

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