How To Feel Passionate But NOT Obsessed With Your Work For A Happier Life
I write prolifically (a skill I honed as a busy screenwriter over the many years in the TV and film industry)- and as friends often tell me, I tend to appear to be EVERYWHERE online simultaneously (what can I say, I’m good at scheduling folks)…
And the thing is, I LOVE what I do, and I mean- can’t live without this career of mine- LOVE what I do. I posses an endless passion for all things creative: writing, photography, vlogging, filmmaking and more- and I truly thrive off the buzz of waking up in the morning and doing all of the above, pretty much every day.
I adore connecting with readers and viewers, how instant working in the digital space is as well as forging new relationships and PUSHING myself in my pursuit of my goals.
I do MASSIVELY LOVE time out too. I heart swellingly love NOT working.
I don’t live to work.
I’m not sure people know or care much about how much down-time I actually have but I’ve noticed I’m often on the receiving end of well meaning comments about quite how busy I am.
Straight-up, honest mum style, I LOVE being busy, our lives as a family are definitely full and happy for the most part-but I’m not sure I’m as BUSY as people might think I am.
We live in a social world so all collectively only see and read what we want to present to the world.
It kind of defeats the purpose of time out if I constantly tweet that I’m just chilling out now watching Netflix or switching off for dinner every night. It can’t be all about the hyper activities.
You only SEE the busy-ness!
I’m also a full time blogger so social media is not just a part of my social life, it’s my job!
And believe me, I work hard and love working hard- but I love turning the OFF button and while nurturing a business particularly in the early years is blood sweat and tears, I’ve found the last year has seen me find a balanced ebb and flow that works for me. A healthy, happy space where I don’t often feel overwhelmed and I feel in control.
This has happened because-
I’m strict about when I STOP working and switching off everything ELECTRICAL-and while my job fulfils me, it’s not an obsession.
I don’t worry about league tables or stats. I keep an eye on views because I’m running a business but I don’t become preoccupied with them. I care about my work, if my posts, paid for or otherwise resonate, touch, inform and entertain.
In fact, now is a good time to re-share the post I wrote on how I define success. I work to feel stimulated and to provide for my kids so they can have the BEST life my husband and I can offer them.
I’ve now built my business to an extent where I can take more time out as I have a small team here, a publicist, a designer, an assistant. I can slow down when I want to but wherever your business is at, you should take the time to reflect, rest and live not LIVE TO WORK.
I remember chatting to screenwriters about the importance of living life so I had something to write about. A writer just writing is not offering their all.
…There is so much I want to do in life, with an endless list of career and life goals, places I want to travel to, projects I want to create- but I’m 100% right where I want to be right now- so anything else would be a bonus.
I do want to add though that like everything in life, nothing can or is, always smooth-sailing. This site will be 6 years old in November and there have been a great many overwhelming highs and equally, many tremendous lows.
I’m not always confident in myself despite the STRONG veneer but I know who I am: a positive, warm, open and of course HONEST person who for the most part, believes in what I have to offer in both my creative pursuits/ business and in life.
I think the end goal for us all is to feel happy in our skin as much as feasibly possible.
I sadly regularly receive emails from other women asking me for tips on how to up their confidence and feel good about themselves as parents and creatives- and while I’m touched people are asking for my advice I also want to be REAL and state that I too struggle with those very same issues.
I don’t always feel my best, my strongest or most capable and it’s OK to have those doubts and fears, to question ourselves or swerve in confidence. It’s part of being HUMAN first and the Achilles heel to being a sensitive creative too.
The good news? With practice (and a supportive network of family, friends and colleagues) it can be overcome. The voice of self-doubt can be quietened.
I’m tenacious that much is true. I think I was born that way. Being ambitious though must not be confused with being ruthless. I only compete with myself and will always help and support others.
I also STRONGLY believe that failure is not and CANNOT be an option and that steely determination can take you far.
I’m an eternal optimist.
I hand on heart rarely ever envy anyone (OK I’d love Kim K’s butt and am working on those squats) but I look at others’ achieving and it SPURS me on, be it making insta-worthy avocado toast or shooting something for telly.
The brain is malleable, the more you practice self-belief and positivity, the more it becomes your default mode, affecting your outlook and ultimately your actions enabling you to MAKE THINGS HAPPEN.
It’s about saying yes to things that scare you and having a go. It’s also all about the attitude of ‘gotta problem, yo I’ll solve it’.
Take me wanting to have greater flexibility in my schedule.
I want to work more fluidly so have taken action.
I’m self-employed yet have been operating as if I have no choice but to work standard hours.
So, I took my youngest son out of nursery 2 days a week so we can spend more time together and I’m working more on an evening.
I know I’m lucky to have that choice but now is the best time to take small steps and cultivate a flexible digital career if you want to follow suit.
I only have a year left before Xander goes to school and while I need and want to work and will continue to, having greater flexibility in my week is why I started blogging in the first place-to have control over my time- and be able work on my terms.
I write in advance, have long-standing projects to deliver and on time (I’ve never missed a deadline) and I schedule, schedule, schedule- so as my friends rightly noted, I appear to be everywhere all of the time (Kim must be s******* herself) ;)!
Seriously though, working online is liberating and empowering so LET IT LIBERATE AND EMPOWER YOU.
I choose whom and what I want to work with and on.
And soon, my site will be undergoing some rather exciting changes.
The site Honest Mum is evolving.
Like it’s namesake. Me.
So watch this space.
I’m attending the Cannes Film Festival tomorrow for a few days and can’t wait, it’s my annual time for a girlie holiday, my me-time. You can follow my trip on all my social channels, naturally!
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Mumboss: The Honest Mum's Guide to Surviving and Thriving at Work and at Home (UK 2nd Edition)