I’ve written about friendship divorce before and it engaged some interesting debate so I’m returning with a ‘Friendship Separation Summer Clean Up’ (yes despite the rain it’s summer folks). I think clearing out your friendship cupboard is crucial (at any time of the year), taking the time to rid negative people from your life or those that offer you nothing, allowing you to free up your time and energy for existing relationships and best of all, new found friends.
We’ve all been there, wasting our lives away and free social calendars (because it’s sooo free with kids isn’t it?) with people we have little in common with, those one sided friendships we abhor and shock horror: dudes we don’t even like anymore.
Yes ‘horses for courses’ and all that and not every friend will be your best bud and that’s cool, it’s good to have a variety of mates (and you don’t have to be with them 24/7 to count them as good friends), I’m just talking about the ‘dementors’-the ones you know you need to show the red card to and pronto before your brain explodes.
I think having Oliver made me realise I have no more time for those ‘neg heads’ anymore, you know those destructive friendships or frenemies (competitive, obsessive, jealous folks I should have dumped yonks ago). I’ve got lots of great friends and the real ones, who I can count on for whatever, whenever: the good times and the bad, truly deserve my ‘quality’ time and energy. Look we’re all human, shit happens, we should forgive (I’m not saying flee your friends after a few mistakes-we all make them) and you should work at your friendships like any relationship (compromise, understanding etc)-I just think you need to know when it’s time to say ‘ba-bye’ as this friend no longer makes you happy.
If you’re drained after seeing that person (every time), you find yourself feeling used (folks who only see you when they have a problem/are bored/always take and never give), have let you down too many times and it’s just not fun anymore nor does it ever seem to be-are the ones to wave off forever. ..It might actually be none of the above ‘offences’. Maybe you’ve simply grown apart. People change. You change. Sometimes it’s time to move on. Don’t be scared. Unfriend on Facebook, block on Twitter, delete their numbers. Let things go. End the negative, unfulfilling friendships now. Believe me, you’ll feel better for it.
” Letting go of negative people doesn’t mean you hate them. It just means you love yourself more”.
What say you?