I’ve noticed recently whilst chatting to several close mummy friends of mine that we’re often drawn into the topic of having more kids.
That and endless adulation over Harvey Specter from Suits. Drool! Maybe he’s the one making our ovaries go into overdrive.
Most of my mates, like myself, tend to have two or even three kids respectively and I suppose, all being in our mid to late thirties makes the question of having more, inevitable.
(Biological) time is ticking a little faster in your thirties (we’re led to believe) although thanks to the advancement of science and generally living longer, more women are conceiving much later than they once were.
The worry is still present though, that presumption that pregnancy will happen easily in your twenties diminishes with age. And nobody likes limitations, however they feel right now because moods can change as can whether you want more kids or not.
I remember chatting to a lady in the doctor’s waiting room once upon a time who’d mentioned she’d had a difficult and dangerous second pregnancy and delivery, so was told a third wouldn’t be advisable. She said she hadn’t even considered a third but hated having the option taken away from her. I get that.
I must state though that I don’t think everyone naturally feels broody nor wants children, this post is a personal opinion piece and relates to my own thoughts and that of my inner circle, simply on how I chat to my friends. I figured others might well relate however and feel the same so I wanted to blog about it.
You see looking a gorgeous babies and toddlers reminds me of my own kids and there’s something a bit addictive about having babies and the more you have, the more the broodiness seems to build too. After one and then, two children or more, however shattered and stressed you feel, the wondrous, unconditional love and baby head smelling loveliness simply tips you over and just like that you can feel overwhelming broody.
I’ve been there. Most months too. Having said that another baby is certainly not on the cards for me right now.
Maybe it will happen one day, maybe not.
I definitely imagined a house full of kids as a young child-less lady (ah it’s so easy when you don’t actually have kids to imagine that) and I have always been maternal, and whilst I’m also open to adoption, I just don’t know what the future holds and how life might pan out. That’s the beauty of life hey, I just don’t want to be presumptions or plan. I live in the now and there’s a lot of ‘now’ happening erm, right now #weirdestsentenceI’veeverwritten ;)!
My husband isn’t broody either and we do feel our family is complete with our two gorgeous boys, and maybe, just maybe, broodiness is a state to live with, an ever-present feeling nestled in the background like a dim light that might never go full beam or the sound of lift music otherwise known as musak that just keeps humming as you journey upwards… Not until you get to the top floor aka menopause anyway, no doubt.
A friend earlier today concurred with me about this state, ‘Yep, I’m constantly broody’. Same here. Heck, I even felt broody watching Storks and those babies aren’t even real. Becoming broody over animated babies seems ridiculous but go see the movie and tell me you didn’t want one on your return.
…And there’s a scientific reason why I and you, might feel this way too.
My friend, brilliant blogger and author Dr Juliet McGrattan sheds some light,
‘It’s in the middle of your cycle that you’re at your most fertile. Day 1 is the first day of your period and if you have a 28-day cycle, then it’s around day 14 that you ovulate, which means your ovaries release an egg ready to be fertilised by passing sperm. At this time in the month the levels of the female hormone oestrogen are high and this prepares your body for a possible pregnancy. Your cervical mucous changes; it becomes thinner, isn’t so hostile to sperm and the lining of your womb thickens up too. Feelings of broodiness can be high when you’re mid-cycle; an evolutionary mechanism to ensure the survival of the human race! Looking at your own new-born can stimulate areas of your brain in a similar pattern to those that occur when you fall in love. Create those brain pathways onceand it’s easy to understand why subsequently looking at other people’s babies makes us broody andwe can’t just ‘switch off’ that desire to have a baby’.
So there you have it, it’s not easy to switch off the feeling of wanting to procreate. Yes it’s not necessarily present or obvious to all nor all of the time but for many of us it’s brewing within and it’s purpose is to keep the world turning.
Fascinating stuff hey?!
I’d love to hear your thoughts…
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