Love this old pic of Oliver and I playing.
You really don’t have to be a martyr to be a good Mum. Despite what the media and anyone without a clue, might tell you.
Yes motherhood can be tough (as well as flipping fun) and of course sacrifices are made (willingly too) but you don’t have to stop being YOU to be a good mum.
Take this baloney below (only an American word will do if I’m not swearing) that was doing the rounds on social media a while back (I’ve responded in bold).
Some of the points in the full version are funny and relateable like using baby wipes to clean your car and spending 3 days washing the same load because you forgot to take it out the first time, sure, but the ones below are in my opinion utter martyr-encouraging drivel-a subtle way to deny us of being a sane, normal, yet still loving, parent.
Yes it might be a bit of fun but the messages becomes ingrained, that to be a loving mum means losing your mind and dignity. That mothers, all mothers are a homogeneous lot, denying us of the many different ways of being a parent or at being at different stages of parenting.
Posts like the one below don’t help with the very real issues of sexism and work discrimination either.
Here it is:
Signs you’re a mum:
Instead of running from projectile vomit, you run towards it.
Are you kidding me? No one in their right mind runs towards projectile vomit. Wait though, being a good mother means you now actively pursue projectile vomit, right? You run towards it. I was vomited on last night. No it didn’t bother me, all I cared about was that my son was OK but seeking sick out-never.
This is just another way (subtly through humour) that mothers are made to feel bad if they don’t want to be puked on. Remember, there’s a sick bowl and toilet for a reason.
You do more in seven minutes than most people do all day.
Really? Yes motherhood is busy whether you’re a SAHM or working mother but frankly I don’t accomplish more in seven minutes than anyone else. Can we all just think rationally about our lives so we don’t end up bitter and undervalued please or worse, conceited and superior. Thanks.
Happy hour has become the 60 minutes between your kids going to bed and you going to bed.
What? I love spending time with my kids, playing, reading, cooking, bath time, yes a break is good and guess what I’m a Mum and I still get to go out too (SHOCK HORROR), I drink cocktails and shake my booty (who knew?) so real happy hour is still experienced. You don’t have to sacrifice the things you love when you have kids.
You might not shake it as often as you like but you don’t have to undergo a personality transplant when kids arrive and the quicker we realise this the better. Bye bye parenting pressure.
*Must add Happy Hour can mean fun with my actual kids (yes really)-if you read the FB post, you’d think parenting was all doom and gloom though.
You have mini-therapy sessions all day long with anyone who will listen.
No, I speak to friends and family who care but I try not to bore people’s socks off about my kids plus parenting is joyful a lot of the time and the majority of us just get on with things without complaining every two minutes like some needy, insecure, demented person the media likes to portray mothers as!
Going to the supermarket by yourself is a holiday.
No a holiday is me in the South of France or anywhere hot (Yorkshire Coast just as good thanks) and carefree with my family, having an actual holiday. However pretty Waitrose is, it doesn’t come close to relaxation. Thanks.
By the end of the day, brushing your teeth feels like a huge accomplishment.
Ok, yes sure that’s what I live for. Not sure who they are targeting with this nonsense, but it’s definitely not me. An accomplishment is having happy, healthy kids, doing a job I love which stimulates, making me feel like I’m meeting my own as well as my family’s needs and goals.
If brushing teeth was a huge accomplishment once you’re a parent, would anyone actually procreate?
Would love to hear your thoughts…