baby feet

Crazy Baby Names by Dawn Of The Dad

baby feet

Photo by: Gabi Menashe

It’s #whosethedaddy time again and this month I’m welcoming Daddy blogger, Louis Jackson of Dawn of the Dad.

Louis describes himself as an apocalyptic zombie, now he’s a dad.

A SAHD, or ‘Daddy Daycare’ as his wife calls him, while she works, he then picks up the night shift running a pub, or looking after ‘grown up children’!

Reader, writer, photographer, musician, martial artist, avid mountain walker, and movie buff, here he shares his take on crazy baby names…I personally can’t wait to hear what Kimye call kid no 2!

Over to Louis…

Faith, Hope and…Kevin

Yes, apparently they’re siblings. Guess the parents will be trying for another little girl sometime soon.

The ‘art’ of giving our little bundles of joy, strange and bizarre names, is apparently on the rise, with 52% of parents admitting they like unusual names.

This all started when I decided to put the words ‘parenting’ and ‘news’ into a search engine.

To my surprise, instead of seeing articles about the rising cost of putting our young ones through school, or the rise of young affluent parents choosing not to vaccinate their toddlers, the top story of the day was a tweet by Kim Kardashian on how amazing, and how much hard work it is to be a parent to their daughter North West. Must be one of those ‘slow news days’ I’ve heard about.

Once I’d finally removed my face from the palm of my hand, and I’d recollected other celebrity child names, such as ‘Moon Unit’, ‘Sage Moonblood’, and ‘Blanket’ (really). I decided, despite my better judgement, to go there for this guest post.

Apparently, there are plenty of young, hip and trendy parents out there, keen to make sure their offspring know we’re here on earth for a mere blink of an eye, and need to enjoy every last millisecond. Thankfully, naming the apple of your eye, ‘Yolo’ or even ‘Apple’ (Gwynnie I’m looking at you) has been on the decline over the last few years. Sigh.

TV and film have always been a big influence on the naming of our offspring.

How about ‘Neo’, ‘Darko’, or even ‘Melrose’. Even cartoons make for great places to find awesome names. ‘Simba’ anyone? I’m a great fan of Futurama, and maybe ‘Fry’ or ‘Leela’ would make it into a list of possibles. Or maybe not. 

For chocolate lovers everywhere, how about naming that bouncy little boy ‘Hershey’. This sweet little moniker’s been on the rise the last couple of years, but just misses out on the top 100.

Or maybe you want to go a little more up market. How about ‘Ferrero Rocher’? I’ve done the search for you and I can’t find anyone called Ferrero, so it would be ‘Unique’, and there’s another with one family going as far as naming their daughter ‘Eunique’.

The parents of ‘Juju’ either love jelly shoes like crazy, or they’re into witchcraft. They could of course, just be huge fans of the Chelsea cocktail bar. One can never be sure. I am however, certain that little Hennessey’s parents love a tipple, as do Stella’s offspring. (Hmm Stella…)

Where was I?

Oh yeah!

As strange as these names are, it’s the famous that really push the bar on this. I’m sure that Kim and Kanye were rolling on the floor, holding their stomachs when they thought of the name North, but on the scale of crazy, it doesn’t really register. The following, I feel, start to show some seismic movement.

Nicolas Cage née Coppola, changed his name because he loved comic character Luke Cage, so it was obvious his son would be called Luke, right? Nope.  He named him Kal-El, Superman’s krypton name. 

Jason Lee, (My Name Is Earl), is a funny/wacky guy, so you’d expect a strange name from this guy, and it would be no biggy. But Pilot Inspektor? I for one am lost for words (almost). Are we looking for free flights? If so, why not spell it properly?

When I discovered Forest Whitaker had named his son Ocean, I was a little bemused. Orchard maybe, or even Sapling, but Ocean?

‘Rock star’ The Edge would make this list on his own name alone, but he’s so awesome his daughter would need a name just as spectacular. If he’d stayed at ‘Angel’ that would have been fine, but no, he chose Blue Angel. I’m guessing Lola Lola wasn’t enough. Maybe the joy of seeing this young life entering the world made him feel “Ich bin von Kopf bis Fuß auf Liebe eingestellt” (What…? I can’t help it) 

I’ve already mentioned one of Frank Zappa’s children in this post and I’m sure if you give your grey matter a little shake, you’ll recall ‘Dweezel’. However, only die hard fans will know about ‘Diva Thin Muffin’.

Actor Rob Morrow, (Numb3rs/Northern Exposure) decided it would be side split-ingly funny to name his daughter ‘Tu’. Sure, it would have tickled a little when first mentioned, but two seconds later, it’s like ‘I suppose you just had to be there.’

You can bet your bottom dollar, that only a select few know the full truth that Tu isn’t really her first name, but actually one of her many middle names. Her full name is ‘The Sun’ll Come Out Tu Morrow’.

After looking into this nonsense, I feel I may have stumbled onto the fact that stupidity is really an airborne virus, and being in close proximity to an infected individual, increases the chances of catching this crazy baby naming disease. Let’s take a look at the facts:

The Edge names his daughter Blue Angel, and his long time friend, Bono, has a daughter named Memphis Eve Sunny Day. If that’s not enough, Michael Jackson names his child Blanket, and brother Jermain Jackson, names his son ‘Jermajesty’.

I’m sorry but what’s wrong with good old fashioned names?

Right, enough hilarity, it’s time I got back to my son Jumanji Billabong III.

What say you? Do you love the crazy baby names or prefer the more noble choice, I’d love to hear from you.

To keep up to date with Dawn of the Dad’s latest blog posts and musings, follow him on Instagram & Twitter

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