Woman holding a flower out
I know I’m incredibly lucky in so many ways: I have a strong, supportive, wise and loving husband; the smartest, fun and most encouraging folks you could ever wish for, and a big group of fiercely bright and brilliant female friends (and one male bestie too of course-Will, you rock).

My mates range from those I’ve known since childhood and uni, to many I’ve met thanks to blogging: all sisters from other misters, Will being my brother from another mother of course, and together we help one another feel our very best, inspiring, entertaining (how I love girly nights out) and keeping each other motivated, loved and happy.

Real friendship is priceless isn’t it?!

We always compliment and support one another, and I always feel my most empowered and confident thanks to those very important people in my life.

They ground me and nothing makes me more content than hanging out with those that really ‘get me’ and me, them.

I have to say, I find it so utterly sad when women struggle to see the good in others, often due to their own insecurities or jealousy, leading to the incessant pursuit of tearing one another down.

I’m pretty good at cutting those kinds of negative, energy zappers out of my life and having kids and limited time I’ve found, really sorts the wheat from the chaff.

My Mum always says, ‘kill them kindness’ when it comes to the ‘not so nice’ folks out there. She’s right. Don’t let anyone stop you from shining, people.

..I do think seeing the good in others and actively complimenting them on their achievements, looks, way of life, makes you in turn feel better about yourself but like anything, it can take some practice.

I know it’s ‘normal’ for me to compliment and build others up, but I have friends who’ve told me, heartbreakingly, that they were rarely complimented on as a child or made to feel worthy, and it’s taken them a long time to relearn how to feel good about themselves or have the confidence to compliment others.

I’ve never been a bitchy person, with strong female, and male role models around me, I was taught and shown by example from a young age, the importance of respecting yourself and others, self belief, solidarity and being kind.

I was also told I could do and be anything I set my heart on, and I realise that’s incredibly liberating too.

We’re all human of course, we have the bad days with the good and envy is normal and natural, but it’s really about working towards feeling you’re enough, because you really are, being confident in your own skin and simply trying your best.

I’m a confident girl (most of the time, I still get nervous before posting pictures of myself online and always hate that first view of myself on camera) but I deal with it, and I’m happy with my lot, how I look, and what I’m doing with my life.

Yet it’s still so lovely when randoms offer kind words.

I won’t lie, it’s flattering to receive male attention, and as a Mum of two it can be quite the confidence boost, but it’s the compliments from other women that mean the most to me.

The other day, a group of ladies in a train bathroom, strangers, told me I was beautiful and had amazing hair. How nice is that?

I always give compliments to others too and often smile at strangers. Not everyone reciprocates but happiness really does breed happiness, so keep smiling I say.

With all this in mind, I’m launching a little movement with the hashtag #complimentstostrangers, a chance for all of us to compliment others and of course do small, random acts of kindness that we’ll then share on social media encouraging others to follow suit, making the world a little bit lovelier.

On Sunday, a lady in the queue in Sainsbury’s gave me a £8 off voucher and a handsome police officer told me I was hot the other night (I’ve still not told my husband).

I also met a stunning, sweet couple on a train to Manchester last week, who were in their mid 70’s but looked much younger and when I told them so, it seemed to make their day.

I gave them my business card before I left and they sent me an email afterwards to thank me for the compliments, despite only recently getting to grips with technology. How touching is that?

Sometimes these small words/acts can really make a huge difference to others, and ourselves too.

A little kindness goes a long way! Yay!

I really hope you’ll join me with #complimentstostrangers x

Photo by averie woodard on Unsplash

 

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45 Responses

  1. Pen

    I love this campaign! A couple of years ago when I was on a train on the way to work a guy who must have been in his early 20s threw a paper aeroplane made folded out of newspaper at me and then promptly ran off the train (at a station). I unfolded the paper aeroplane to see that he had written “you’re stunning, just thought you should know”. There was no phone number or email address so it wasn’t a pick up tactic and it obviously means I haven’t been able to say thank you. I have since framed this piece of newspaper though. It makes me smile whenever I am having a bad day. Compliments from strangers can go a very long way. Xx

    Reply
  2. Natasha

    What a lovely idea!! I often try to pay a compliment to a stranger. Some think I’m weird but many times other’s gush and say thank you. Love the idea behind this 🙂 I haven’t had a chance to meet you but your genuineness and kindness really comes across in your posts xx

    Reply
    • honestmum

      Oh that means a lot Natasha, thank you, I really hope we get to meet and you sound so genuinely lovely too, I often smile and compliment others and some are a little shocked but I say, keep complimenting and shining on x

      Reply
  3. Rachel In Real Life

    What a lovely idea. I have been stuck in for a couple of weeks due to surgery but I am going to get on this as soon as I am out and about again!
    Rachel In Real Life recently posted…Then It Started – SurgeryMy Profile

    Reply
    • honestmum

      I hope you’re OK Rachel and lovely to hear you’re going to support this, it really makes a difference in people’s lives 🙂

      Reply
  4. Mama and More aka Zaz

    I love this darling! I always compliment strangers, in fact I make it a point each day to make at least one person feel good – whether that’s a compliment or when I do my weekly supermarket shop I’ll often buy an extra bunch of flowers and leave them with a happy note under someone’s windscreen wipers! Weird maybe, but everyone loves mystery flowers, right?! It’s a wonderful proposal hon, and think of all that great positive karma! Xx
    Mama and More aka Zaz recently posted…All About You Link Party – Look for opportunities!My Profile

    Reply
  5. Sara | mumturnedmom

    This is such a lovely, positive thing to do. Here in the US people are far more likely to compliment than in the UK (I have found anyway) and it rubs off on you after a while 🙂
    Sara | mumturnedmom recently posted…The Prompt 70My Profile

    Reply
    • honestmum

      That’s so true of America, I love that and have a real affinity with Americans generally, really hope lots will get involved x

      Reply
  6. Jenny @ Jenny on a Plate

    This is a wonderful idea, compliments really do make people’s day, whether you’re giving or receiving one. In a world where people can so often be quick to gossip and do one another down, it’s really important to spread a little positivity! I’d love to join you with #complimentstostrangers x
    Jenny @ Jenny on a Plate recently posted…The A to Z of Baking: A is for Apple & Walnut CupcakesMy Profile

    Reply
  7. Michelle Reeves (bodfortea)

    What a fabulous idea! I’m with you on compliments and I’m big on sharing them around – let’s get this movement going! x #BrilliantBlogPosts
    Michelle Reeves (bodfortea) recently posted…Four go mad in Monaco #thejameswayMy Profile

    Reply
  8. Elizabeth (Wander Mum)

    I love this! It’s so true- a small act of kindness really can make a person’s day and you always feel so great afterwards too. I try and do it when I can and I am a pretty smiley person too. My daughter gets a LOT of compliments (people are fascinated with her huge mass of curly blonde hair) which is always so fab and touching but I think we’re less likely to do the same with other adults – and we are quite bad at receiving them. Let’s start changing it! Fab campaign x
    Elizabeth (Wander Mum) recently posted…Wander Mum Is Going To BritMums Live 2015My Profile

    Reply
    • honestmum

      It really does, my kids get so many compliments too and you are right, as adults we often find them hard to give and receive but I really hope this will help us all feel a bit more comfortable doing it x

      Reply
  9. Mrs Tubbs

    Basically, it’s nice to be nice. I like compliments, but aren’t very good at receiving them, but I love giving them. I shall definitely try and share more! Random compliments!

    Reply
  10. MrsM

    What a lovely idea. Sometimes I’m looking at a woman and she might be paranoid I’m staring. Privately I’m more than likely to be thinking how lovely her clothes/dress/shoes/hair is than thinking something nasty. As I’ve got older I’m braver to speak to strangers and tell them. I’m a firm believer in pay it forward and I’m going to start trying to compliment more people!
    A kind word can really make someone’s day.

    At Christmas when I was dressed up in a dress for my Christmas party, a man walking behind me told me I had a “nice ass”. I never told MrM and it still puts a smile on my face six months later!
    MrsM recently posted…Brand Loyalty. Is It Dead?My Profile

    Reply
    • honestmum

      Haha love that, so true compliments really are so touching and we all need to get a bit braver (me included) about sharing them, especially when it comes to strangers, thanks for your fab comment x

      Reply
  11. Suzanne

    I always feel that a little kindness goes such a long way and as you say, complimenting anyone – be it a stranger or a family member – it so empowering for both parties. Thank you for the reminder Vikki, I’m going to make sure that I look out for those opportunities not just with strangers but with those around me too 🙂
    Suzanne recently posted…The Benefit of HindsightMy Profile

    Reply
    • honestmum

      That’s so lovely, thanks Suzanne and you are right, compliments to those we know and love are just as important too x

      Reply
  12. Silly Mummy

    This is so lovely! I think you’re right: lack of confidence makes it hard for people to receive compliments & also not to feel shy about giving them. But, especially if you are already a confident person, spreading the confidence & the compliments helps more people to do the same.

    I’m naturally quite shy & introverted, but I am trying to do this more. I love those people who are confident, but not overbearing – the ones who try to bring the less confident people out of themselves gently. It’s a great skill.

    So I am going to use my compliment to compliment the complimentors! All of you confident people who try to share the confidence with those of us who have less by giving compliments & boosts – we do appreciate it, even if our reticent nature does not always show that enough! #brilliantblogposts
    Silly Mummy recently posted…‘Come On, Guys’: The Ten Funniest Things The Toddler Said Last WeekMy Profile

    Reply
    • honestmum

      Yay and I loved this comment, you are right not everyone is out going or feels like they can compliment others but a little goes a long way and I for one will seek out the shy peeps and compliment away, thank you x

      Reply
  13. You Baby Me Mummy

    This is wonderful Vicki, such a positive thing to do. Compliments are fabulous and can make your day, so we should do it more x
    You Baby Me Mummy recently posted…A Few of My Favourite Things Tag – Vlog StarsMy Profile

    Reply
  14. Baby Isabella

    We totally agree! If the shoe was on the other foot you’d like someone to be friendly and polite too. We’re hoping their are lots of friendly bloggers to meet at #BritmumsLive we might #complimentastranger there 🙂 xx#BrilliantBlogPosts
    Baby Isabella recently posted…Baby Isabella is going to Blissfields!My Profile

    Reply
  15. Dawn of the Dad

    its great to see people being polite, and having respect for ones fellow humans, even more so when someone goes out of their way to make somebody feel special. These days folk just seem to be hell bent on reaching the destination, instead of enjoying the journey.
    Good on ya sis, you have a beautiful heart!
    Dawn of the Dad recently posted…Crazy Baby NamesMy Profile

    Reply
    • Baby Isabella

      @ Dawn of the Dad You have a beautiful heart as well! All that lovely charity work for the Lullaby Trust 🙂 well done! Plus your beard looks epic 🙂
      Baby Isabella recently posted…Baby Isabella is going to Blissfields!My Profile

      Reply
  16. Mummy Tries

    Love this idea hon, what a great thing to do to encourage kindness. And what a fab succession of beautiful compliments you’ve been receiving lately – you clearly have the holiday glow shining through xx
    Mummy Tries recently posted…Get Race for Life Ready with KiqplanMy Profile

    Reply
  17. Ashley Beolens

    What a beautiful idea, so nice to think that people can still be nice to one another for no reason, I shall try my best to join in.
    Ashley Beolens recently posted…Proud of our NationMy Profile

    Reply
  18. Kiran

    I think making an effort to give compliments is so lovely Vicki – great post. I reckon we often don’t say things when we think them – but when it’s a compliment to someone, we should just do it. It doesn’t take much, and we could make someones day. Lovely idea x

    Reply
  19. Babes about Town

    Love this Vicki! I’m often receiving compliments from strangers – like you my fave are the nice comments from women – got told i was beautiful and had nice skin on the same day recently by two ladies, I put it down to the jumper I was wearing lol. I also get loads of compliments anytime i wear the gorgeous scarf you gave me for my birthday so thanks again doll. I’m very dishy with my compliments too, love telling people how they rock in various forms. Why not spread the love? We spend too much of our time wrapped up in our own heads, often thinking miserable thoughts and a kind word from someone can make a world of difference. By the way your blog is looking gorgeous petal – I know you’re not a stranger but hey, I’m keeping it moving 😉 x
    Babes about Town recently posted…Classical Babies Italian Opera Morning with Villa Pia!My Profile

    Reply
  20. Claire

    I absolutely love this!! Those types of compliments can completely make your day!! I’m usually pretty shy, but I’m going to make more of a point to spread kind words like this!

    Reply

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