Why don’t we collectively talk more about our experiences of PMT/PMS? There’s no shame in it, it’s mother nature after all. The only shame is that we have to suffer with it at all and that there’s not enough info and support available to us.
Sharing my experience this month, today over on Instagram has reminded me of how many of us struggle with this hormonal disruption and the extent it can distort and damage our feelings of self-worth, and overall mood.
I actually felt it had drastically improved over the last year to be honest then BOOM, this month has felt quite shocking. I’ve cried on and off all day today. I feel weak, vulnerable and the lowest I’ve felt in a long time.
I feel anxious, weary and of no use to anyone.
I’m sharing this so that if you relate, you know you’re not alone.
I’m sharing this so I remember that I am not alone.
Most of all, I’m sharing this so I can make peace with how I’m feeling at this moment. I’m accepting my low mood and trusting it will, like all adversity ebb and flow, and dissipate.
I’m being kinder to myself by sharing this.
I’m making a promise to stop beating myself up over something I cannot control. Not really. Not consistently or long term at least.
Yes, I take vitamins and try and prioritise self-care when I can. I exercise regularly and eat a plant-based diet. But life is busy and hard at times, and a juggle, and anyway, some months, despite all the good intentions and actions, still see those hormones wreck havoc with my body and mind, and not just pre-period either. It can affect me during, and even after too, so for several days each month.
I’m sorry I don’t have the answers here for you, not all of them anyway, I’m simply admitting I don’t feel strong right now. I’m speaking up. Online and offline.
I’ve chatted with my husband, friends and mum and cried my heart out. I’ve eaten cake and slow-releasing carbs and I’ve sprayed Rescue Remedy on my tongue and I’ve drank chamomile tea to take the edge of my anxiety.
Writing this also helped to distract and sooth me. It’s true that bottling up your pain is the worst thing you can do. That sharing, crying and reaching out for help is what heals. An endorphin releasing 20 second hug will help your heavy heart.
Speak up, love hard and get your art out into the world, and don’t forget how special you are.
Tomorrow is another day, hey, and thank goodness for that.
Photo c/o Thought Catalogue.