7 Ways To Be The Change You Want To See

As Children’s Mental Health Week, 5-11 February, spotlights the need for urgent change and effective solutions for our youth mental health crisis, Kim McCabe-Founder-Director of Rites for Girls CIC – a non-profit supporting and preparing girls to journey safely through their teens – shares inspiration for how we can all play our part in changing the world.

Here, she shares her advice on how we can all create change. Over to Kim.

What distresses you about the way the world is at the moment? Could some small part of your life be devoted to changing this?

Years ago, when I was pregnant for the first time, I found myself weeping at every news broadcast, raging against this world I was bringing a new life into, and feeling depressed by it all. So, I stopped engaging. It was too painful, and I felt powerless. Then I gave birth to a girl and my head snapped up, ‘I must change the world for this child – growing up cannot be for her how it was for me.’

So, I sought out meaningful work and Rites for Girls was born, with the mission to change the world – one girl at a time.

We can all change the world.

 

So, here are seven ways to be the change you want to see:

1. Play your part – take care of your corner of the world. We can all make a difference to someone or something. Think of something small and simple that you could do this week. Why not show your child how to mend a broken toy, invite the stressed out mum over for tea, or plant window-boxes with plants that bees love. And smile at someone today. Everyone is uplifted by a smile.

2. Want things to be different? Do something different. If we all carry on as we are, nothing will change. What can you do differently that would make a difference? Open the window right now and breathe deeply for a full minute while pondering what you could do differently…And then do it! It might be saying ‘No!’ to someone or something, walking or taking public transport instead of driving, setting up a neighbourhood ‘library’ or dropping off that charity bag you’ve been meaning to, all month.

3. Don’t underestimate the power of a small change. Think ripples from a small pebble dropped into a great lake, or the domino effect. Every small improvement is a stepping stone into a better future. When my daughter was born, I didn’t want her to hate her body as I had learned to dislike mine. So, I made myself look in the mirror with ‘kind eyes’ instead of focusing in on what I didn’t like. Talking about this with other mums, worried about their own daughters’ negative body image, they asked if I’d do something to help. I was full of strong opinions, but not full of confidence to work with girls. They pushed me, and Rites for Girls was born. Now there are girls’ groups across the country, working preventatively to boost girls’ mental, emotional and physical well-being.

4. What comes naturally to you? Do it more. Play to your strengths, bring to this life the best of what you can offer. Change doesn’t have to be hard, it can be joy-filled too. Think what happiness you could bring by singing in an old people’s home, or offering to plant seedlings in your child’s school garden, or spending time with others to petition the local authority to get the speed limit reduced in town.

5. Cushion yourself from paralysing overwhelm – watch the news in moderation. Make time to dream instead. Everything good started with somebody’s dream. Dreaming is as serious a pastime as keeping up with current affairs. There’s a distinction between learning about the world and doom scrolling at every opportunity with no sense of what you can do to change any of it? And yet, the world is full of amazing people doing incredible things, and all that would have started with someone thinking ‘what if…?’ So, look out the window into the distance and let yourself fantasise about how you’d like things to be. Let yourself imagine it. That’s an uplifting way to spend your time and a good place to start.

6. Connect with others – be a part of something bigger. Not only will you be able to do more than you can alone, but it will give you a sense of belonging. Who’s already doing something that’s making the changes you want to see? Look for your local action groups. If government policy on the environment bothers you, find your local Green Party. If you’re worried about poverty, volunteer at your local food bank. If you’re concerned about the damage social media can do to kids, join a national campaign or read books on how to harness positive digital habits and learn how to regulate their use.

7. Play small, feel powerless. Step up, feel empowered. It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us the most. Your opinions, your voice, and what you care about matters. Your holding back doesn’t serve anyone and feels awful. Daring to show up feels good.

And finally, if you do nothing else, do this! As adults we can take care of the future by giving our attention to the next generation. Take notice of the younger ones around you, spare them a moment of your time. Most adults can remember someone who did something or said something to them as a child that made a real difference. Be that adult in at least one young person’s life today. Follow what you love, what you have a talent for, what fires you up. You have something unique to offer, and when you back yourself, you can make a real difference. Whether it’s dropping off food to elderly neighbours, organising a rubbish-pick in your park, or finding somewhere safe and dry for teens to hang out, you can change the world you’ve living in.

Kim McCabe is the Founder-Director of Rites for Girls, an educational CIC working to alleviate the suffering and distress of pre-teen and teenage girls. The CIC trains and supports women to facilitate its life-changing programmes for girls and women in their communities.
For women interested in helping transform the mental wellbeing of pre-teen and teenage girls, Rites for Girls’ next Facilitator Training, starting June 2024, provides a unique opportunity to bring meaning and purpose into your life by learning to support girls to journey safely through adolescence.

More information: https://www.ritesforgirls.com/facilitator-training/

Photograph by Jade Tinkler.