So today I popped over to one of my all-time favourite blogs, The Joy Chaser, written by my good pal Michelle, who never fails to inspire and spread joy through her words and this post of her’s HERE stopped me in my tracks and reminded me of the importance of fighting our fears.
Michelle, 25 years after an accident on a horse, decided recently she would ride again. Scared but determined, she did it and what’s more she enjoyed it.
It reminded me of being on a family holiday to Spain last year where I drove on the opposite side of the road for the very first time. The odds were much less but the fear was quite something.
Literally shaking, that first journey on the road was pretty nerve wracking ( I cried once I arrived back to our villa after dual carriageways and too many roundabouts to count, 20 minutes away)-but by the end of the holiday I’d fallen into the Spanish way of life, I felt relaxed and control behind the wheel and my fears seemed a distant memory.
Facing your fear is liberating, it makes you feel independent, capable-and importantly, it’s where growth happens.
I love this quote by my great friend and business partner Jessica Huie MBE of JHPR:
‘In order to be successful, you have to make yourself vulnerable. If you aren’t feeling uncomfortable or stretched then you are playing in the safe zone…
Whenever I have felt I don’t belong, I’m not good enough, or incapable, if I’ve jumped then, magic has happened. I don’t think that success lies beyond our safe zone, I know it to be true’.
This counts for success in all areas of life.
I know I want to feel pushed, stimulated, nourished and ALIVE.
I have compiled 5 ways to face your fears and do it anyway.
We can’t eradicate fear but we can help prevent from controlling and stopping us.
1.Understand that fear is natural. We’re all scared of something/lots of things/ following our dreams/not following them (insert a million other variables) but it’s part of being human. Accept this but don’t let fear control you. Write a list of your fears and get rational on yourself. Ask yourself if these worries will matter 1 year from now? Even a week? Are you worrying that ‘everyone will think this about me’ when you really mean, will that one negative person you need to distance yourself from, think this or that.
Often we worry so much what others think when in reality most are far more worried about their own lives to care, and those directing negative energy towards you, are simply not worth your time or concern.
Successful, content people trust their gut and surround themselves with those good for them. Not ‘yes’ people, but those who have good intentions and can be honest with you. Today I spoke to one of my oldest, closest friends about something that had happened the other day. I knew I was in the wrong in the way I reacted to something and I knew I could count on her to be honest with me and help me find a way to solve the issue.
2. To focus on the truthful relationships that make you feel good, please cut the negativity out. In order to be positive, you must put positive energy out into the world (stop complaining and watch how easier life gets and lighter you feel) and get ruthless on cutting ties with those not good for you: draining relationships, passive aggressive folks, faux friends- and situations which make you feel stressed.
By doing so, you will focus on the positive people who lift you up, and help you feel fearless and strong.
3. Write a list of goals.
There is nothing which gives me greater clarity than a clear list (I like to write it pen on paper) in black and white, of what I hope to achieve: big, small, crazy to some, get that list of dreams out there and into the universe (I like to tell the universe my wishes, usually when I’m driving, solo so I look less of a nutter). Once you’ve got those goals off your chest, start with a plan of action and baby steps towards making your dreams a reality. Believe you can and will achieve. You deserve it baby!
‘I’ll see it when I believe it’.
4. Become a little bit braver. Write another list of what scares you and be honest with yourself. There might well be crossover from your dream list-dreaming big is s**** scary but work towards ticking off the fear-list too.
For me it would be everything from a simple fairground ride (I’m scared of a slow-moving carousel-really) to developing new businesses I’ve dreamed of for a long time.
Be determined to do what you love even if that means juggling a job you’re not in love with to pay the bills, while you work towards your dream career in downtime, until it becomes a reality. Be kind (to yourself too) and keep pushing on. Striving.
5. Reach out. You don’t have to do this solo.
Ask for support. Reach out to those you trust and admire. Know success so often comes from collaboration. Create a team. Help others. When great minds merge and creatives collaborate, amazing things happen.
Lift one another up. Know there is room for all, and together you can build new bridges, break new ground and importantly, have the most fun when working (and playing) with others!
Anything is possible and it all starts with accepting the fear is REAL but doing it anyway.
Everyone is scared, the difference between those who achieve and thrive from those who don’t, is the former go out there, with a deep breath, an air of confidence (even if they are feigning it) and getting the job done- until it feels like the most natural thing in the world and the fear is conquered.
What you waiting for?! Get out there!
Thanks to Pinterest re most of the ‘wise words’ images above!