waffle in a heart shape

I know it’s Valentine’s Day but romantic love isn’t what I’m focusing on here (although I madly deeply love my husband *go check my Vestaire Collective wishlist Peter (inserts blowing kisses emojis).

Today, is all about the unconditional, heart-aching love I feel for my sons, Oliver and Alexander. Look away now if you’re not up for the ALL mushy feels because this one is testament to the unbreakable bond of a mother’s love. This mother.

Look, straight up, kids will completely break you and (thus) make you, in my opinion.

Babies and that first year as a first-time parent, in particular take you to all kinds of low depths. That burn of the baptism of fire that is becoming a parent is harsh. It is then and because of that pain and turbulence that you discover your strength. How tough you actually are. ‘I’ve survived on a year of 2 hours sleep a night so, I can do freaking anything’.

I’m obsessed with my kids, I am completely in love with them. I couldn’t have wished for sweeter, more beautiful (every mama thinks her kids are beautiful right?), loving kids.

They’ve challenged my perceptions of motherhood, too. I thought I’d lose who I was when I had babies and for a while I did, but as I rediscovered my confidence and my voice thanks to this blog and simply getting into the swing of parenthood, I realised I was exactly the same person as before, just with more fire in my belly with two children to provide for.

Importantly, I realised have freaking fun having kids is. Those boys are my best friends and I don’t care if admitting that breaks some weird parental code. Yes, raising humans is hard work and you need boundaries as parents, something we have, but we laugh a s*** load together be it my made up stories of Ninja Mama, the fearless caped crusading mama who always saves the day to blare out Ed Sheeran in the car and getting through my fave 90’s kids’ together. Matilda is their favourite and basically reminds me of pre-school. I thought it was a documentary of my time there when I first watched it!

My youngest is 4 and cracks me up daily, just last night he told me that his favourite restaurant is ‘Mark Donald’s ‘(McDonald’s) and he’ll still eat there when he’s a big man ‘but just the meal, no toy’. My eldest is 7 and is more mature than I am to be fair, he’s the most caring child I’ve ever met, let alone created.
Maternal love is mental really, looking into your babies’ eyes, you’re so blissfully happy and in love yet simultaneously freaked out and scared you’ll ever lose it/them.
Love of all kinds, is the meaning of life. When you’re loved and give love, you’re liberated, you discover the strength to be who you are, safe in the knowledge and bubble that you are understood and valued.
Love gives you superpowers (and not just maternal love of course).
I was reflecting on the some of the things I’ve done since my babies were born in the name of maternal love and wanted to share them.
1. Birth. OK I know you can’t get out of that one but whatever happens in that crazy birth journey of giving life, we mamas, face it head on. There always comes this distinctive, unforgettable moment where you find your fearlessness in the madness, that ‘Let’s be having this, then’ vibe where the need to meet your baby triumphs over fear. That is love.
2. Facing death. I actually once threw myself in front of a car when my eldest son, Oliver, ran in front of one years ago. I’ve never mentioned it before because my family said not to. I’m not sure why, but it was all a bit raw when it happened and then I just never bothered blogging about it. So the car wasn’t going fast, although I didn’t know that at the time, maybe 5/10 miles per hour as we were in a supermarket car park when my usually sensible 4 year old legged it to the other side to join Daddy, not seeing the car in front of him. I ran ahead of him in front of the car which did an emergency stop and we were all OK, thankfully. I then proceeded to buy ALL the wine in Sainsburys.
3. Share my food. Kids don’t give you any other option, right? Whilst I was always generous with food, pre-kids, I hated people putting ‘dirty’ forks into my dinner. You know that whole ‘don’t put the licked spoon back in’ biz. When the kids were toddlers they would stick their hands into pretty much everything I ever made, so I quickly got over my original neurosis.
4. Gave myself a bout of sciatica when Oliver and I learnt the dance moves to Bieber’s Sorry. I was bl**** sorry I couldn’t walk for two weeks an’ all.
5. Became a morning person. Bye bye lie-ins as kids don’t know the b***** meaning of them. I never thought I’d enjoy a morning run after the actual school run, but kids taught me that along with losing my sanity, I could actually have a personality transplant too.Who knew?
I’d love to read the things you’ve done in the name of love, maternal or otherwise.
Happy Valentine’s Day!

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35 Responses

  1. Helena

    Oh my goodness. Children can stress you out, scare you but above all else light up life with their love. #brillblogposts

    Reply
  2. Michelle

    The love we have for out child is so amazing. It’s amazing how your instincts just kick in when your child is in harms way, that must have been so scary for you all #brillblogposts
    Michelle recently posted…Parenting a strong willed boyMy Profile

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  3. five little doves

    Ahh this is lovely, although thank god you were okay after the car incident! There are so many things that I have done for love but the biggest one is to get better. Having battled with anorexia and depression throughout my teens right through to my early thirties, I knew when faced with four children who were completely reliant on me, that I needed to get better. And I did. #Brilliantblogposts
    five little doves recently posted…My children are just as annoying as yours!My Profile

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  4. Mrs Mummy Harris

    Ive given up lay ins – im a sucker for a weekend morning in bed whether in be actually asleep or watching tele in bed. but with Ben this doesnt happen! My biggest sacrifice to date!! #brilliantblogposts

    Reply
  5. Rebecca

    This is just lovely… I’m totally ok with ALL the mushy feels!!! #brilliantblogposts
    Rebecca recently posted…Is society really built for working Moms?My Profile

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  6. Tooting Mama

    High five for mummy love! Fabulous Valentine’s post. I’m with you on the lie ins (they are only just starting to come back 8.30 at the weekends woo hoo! #brillblogposts

    Reply
  7. Emma Peach

    Becoming a mum really is a baptism of fire! I discovered I have more patience and stamina than I realised – not to mention a strong stomach. Cleaning up after a projectile vomit on a flight to Australia wasn’t my best memory of that holiday!

    Emma xxx
    http://www.style-splash.com
    Emma Peach recently posted…Shades of Green and Brown + Style With a Smile Link UpMy Profile

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  8. Eb Gargano / easypeasyfoodie.com

    What a lovely post! I can identify with almost all of this. But the sharing food thing? Never!!! 😀 Xx
    Eb Gargano / easypeasyfoodie.com recently posted…Spicy Moroccan Chickpea Soup (Vegan) & Froothie Optimum G2.3 ReviewMy Profile

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  9. Lucy At Home

    Aaah so refreshing to read a valentines post that celebrates mummy love! Also, I think I’m going to start referring to the Golden Arches as “Mark Donald’s” – it sounds sooo upmarket and classy! Hahaha.

    I love the crazy, silly games I get to play with my girls, and the jumpy, throw-yourself-everywhere dancing we do! #BrillBlogPosts
    Lucy At Home recently posted…How My Gut Instinct Made Me A Better MumMy Profile

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  10. Caroline

    Aah love this Vicki! It’s so true, nothing quite like the love you feel for your kids. I’ve definitely learnt to be a morning person since having a child. #brillblogposts
    Caroline recently posted…Birthday Cake Blondies RecipeMy Profile

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  11. Gary

    The morning thing is so true. Took a while to get used to but I love having more hours in the day! Great post, can completely relate. Parenting really is a rollercoaster ride like no other #brillblogposts

    Reply
  12. Jeremy Barnes

    mornings are a big one. I used to be a night owl, as I usually don’t have to be at work before noon. Now the number of things I have done by 10 am is astounding sometimes. #brillinatblogposts
    Jeremy Barnes recently posted…Hopes for a Happy Valentine’s DayMy Profile

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  13. Sara

    This made me quite emotional… and then you made me laugh with Justin Bieber. Sorry. Not funny. Not funny at all. How scary must the experience in the car have been!!! Luckily you were all ok! Happy Valentine’s Day! #brilliantblogposts
    Sara recently posted…How mindfulness can help heal a physical injuryMy Profile

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    • Honest Mum

      Oh honey it is hilarious, teaches me to try and be all cool hey! The car incident was scary, a mother’s love knows no bounds xx

      Reply
  14. Kelly

    Ahh I love this. My little one is only 6 months, so we haven’t had any running out in front of cars craziness yet, but I can imagine jumping in the way. How scary. #brillblogposts

    Reply
  15. a positive parent

    “kids will completely break you” so true. But such an amazing experience. I guess the biggest thing we do as mothers is change who we are and become selfless for their needs are our priorities.
    a positive parent recently posted…Childhood Obesity: What Can Parents Do?My Profile

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  16. Susan Mann

    Kids are amazing and funny. It’s crazy the things you do as a parent isnt it x
    Susan Mann recently posted…An Early Sunrise, Soft Things, Sad Days & a Lunch Date – Our Weekly Photos Week 7My Profile

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  17. Peachy and her Mommy

    I can relate to your no longer existant issues with food. I used to be very uptight about my food and keeping other people’s dirty paws off it. Having an infant stuff a a suspiciously wet fist into your mouth puts things into perspective. The moment you find yourself hoping that’s drool you’re tasting is the moment those little food transgressions become non-issues. #brillblogposts

    Reply
  18. Kiri

    Kids do make you do the craziest things! I’ve always been quite shy but now I find myself singing loudly in the supermarket because it keeps my daughter entertained, or dancing like a fool in the street with no music just because they fancied a dance. Kids have no worries when it comes to embarrassing themselves, it definitely has rubbed off on me. #brillblogposts

    Reply
  19. Mums' army

    I have 2 boys too and I totally relate to everything you are saying. The baby stages were some of the hardest challenges I have ever faced and although I had been around children my whole life I was still completely unprepared. Sometimes I stare at my boys when their sitting on the sofa just watching telly and I feel like my heart could actually burst. Sometimes they make me want to scream but then they give me the sweetest hug and everything is right with the world. Your car incident sounds very scary and the thought of anything like that worries me stupid. I feel like the luckiest person in the world to have my gorgeous boys they make days fun, I can ninja kick like a power ranger, i know the octonauts theme tune word for word, i can spot a bogey at 50 paces and i can do a wicked cookie monster impression #brillblogposts

    Reply

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