phone and coffeePhoto credit.

I’ve weirdly gotten used to trolls on my blog and social media, and believe me, writing that sentence saddens me because for the most part, I receive the most touching messages and comments from readers and social media followers. Most come from women who often share that following my work has helped them grow in confidence, start businesses and ultimately feel stronger than before be it issues on body-image or raising their babies whilst working. Those messages keep me going. It’s what drives me. The thought that my work serves a purpose and helps others is my mission here.

To help create a wave of mumbosses.

As my profile has grown, so inevitably has the volume of trolling I receive. I understand that as a public-facing blogger and vlogger, it is sadly inescapable yet doesn’t make it right or easy to deal with. I also receive a high volume of vile porn: imagery, requests to collab with porn stars (that will be a no) and graphic messages. Whilst I can report and block, it feels endless and is distressing.

As a creative, I’m naturally sensitive anyway, and keyboard warriors sharing their editorial opinions on everything from my body shape to how my kids look can be upsetting, especially if I’m having a tough time in real life with close relatives being very unwell or family stress.

So much of it is futile too, I can’t get my head around those who don’t think before they speak/tweet.

As my mum taught me as a child, ‘If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all’. My own children follow this with ease at 7 and 4.

Sadly, grown adults seem to have missed that memo or forgotten it. They appear to think their subjective opinion matters. Whether someone likes or dislikes my body/work/lifestyle/values makes no REAL difference to the facts of the situation, who I am, or how I personally view myself. Words might hurt momentarily but luckily I’m a strong ‘lass’ and continue to live my life my way, surrounded by those I love and respect.

The trolls don’t win. They don’t kill my passion, drive or productivity and nor should they yours either.

The greatest lesson I’ve learnt as a blogger is to NOT BELIEVE THE HYPE OR THE CRITICISM. Of course, it’s vital I take note of positive criticism in order to grow and evolve but I don’t seek or need validation from those who don’t know me. From people I don’t trust.

I’m lucky to have close friends, a husband, manager and folks who are always honest and true with me. They are my quality and moral compasses when I need guidance most and I value them endlessly.

My view on the trolls and porn spam. Block, report, ignore. By rising above the shizz, I set an example. Something my kids depend on.

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8 Responses

  1. Katie

    Thank you for sharing this, it’s such an important message. I too was raised by the rule “if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all”. Online trolls are able to hide behind their screens so I’m glad you do not let their words affect you. Xo

    Reply
  2. Angela Milnes

    Oh I have had some nasty trolls, one even told me to go hang myself but I am ignoring that rubbish and focusing on my passions and love of writing and and blogging and they will not win!

    Reply
  3. Sarah

    Ugh people, I think some adults forget they are adult and should respect others! troll is just giving them a label thought they should be told directly that they are bad people and you feel sorry for them… then maybe they’ll wake up and start listening to that little voice that tells them not to post something x
    Sarah recently posted…Guest Post – Parenting Fails – My Girls and MeMy Profile

    Reply
  4. Laura Delaney

    I think trolling is horrible and usually 9/10 they’re people who feel so insecure with their own lives, they feel they have to bring others down with them. PORN!? Now that really is disgusting. But nevertheless, you’re a great writer and you can clearly see you are able to rise above the haters which is admirable. Keep up the good work. Xxx

    Reply
  5. Victoria - Lylia Rose

    That’s the best advice – ignore, report and block! I’ve only come across it a few times this year and it’s hard to get it out your head, but you just have to find a way to. The thing I always try to think is why do I care what these sorts of people think anyway? I wouldn’t want to be their friend in real life if that’s what they’re like, so why do I let it bother me? I watched an interesting documentary about online trolls once and most of them were men sat behind their computers doing it for the kicks. So I always think that perhaps Sarah who has left me a horrible message is in fact Trevor who really has no interest in what I’ve said at all and would have found something nasty to say about whatever I’d written, because for some strange reason that makes him happy. He’s a weirdo and no-one I want to waste my time thinking about.
    Victoria – Lylia Rose recently posted…The ONLY two things you’ll need when flying with childrenMy Profile

    Reply
  6. The DADventurer (Dave)

    Eugh, that sounds rough. It seems like certain people forget that the person they are targeting is human still. Like just because you may recognise someone from online or the TV etc, why does that mean you can say nasty things and have a dig etc. Rise above it dude 🙂

    Reply

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