The Roles We Play as Parents

So tonight as I cut my eldest, Oliver’s hair (he’s currently barber-phobic) I realised that as parents we seem to appropriate many, MANY roles or jobs from wannabee Nicky Clarke’s (more like Edward Scissorhands in my case, although Oliver’s locks are still long enough to pass for an American kid in a Gap advert-phew) to full time therapists to our kids and more…

You see pre-children, as an ‘un-parent’ I never imagined for a minute the multiple jobs parenthood would mean for me-did you?

Here’s a little list of who I am most days:

Juggler/Magician

Freelancer, own boss (of my business, this blog and family life pretty much) I’m constantly spinning plates and breaking lots as I go but I live for the days when everything somehow magically works and balance is achieved or as near to it as possible…

The Entertainer

Clown, singer, lead actress in my very own Off (very off) Broadway production (usually in the lounge, teddy and friends in the cheap seats at the back, under 4’s, my captive audience) as we sing (I lead of course), dance and usually scare the neighbours with renditions of Happy and Let it Go on repeat.

Hearing my 19 month old sing Let it Go has to be the sweetest, funniest thing I’ve ever heard. Even better than watching cute kittens on Youtube. I immediately want to sign him up for Britain’s Got Talent and let Simon Cowell make him a child star so he can actually go ‘On Broadway’. Then I remember he’s not yet 2 and put Cbeebies back on…

That singing though is no doubt the best reason to procreate ever. Make kids, laugh lots.

Side note: you also get to ride on roundabouts and take cool pictures…

The Athlete

Thanks to the kids I created, I now feel flipping awesome at football, tennis, yoga, swimming, rounders and snakes and ladders. They tell me daily how great I am at all of the above. “You’re amazing Mama”. I probably suck at at least 5 out of the 6 so please regard their praise (well trained) and the term ‘athlete’ loosely.

It must be said though, Alexander is SERIOUSLY, SCARILY amazing at football-so much so people actually stop us in the park and ask to take pictures of him kicking a ball. I always decline of course. Alexander is mine and mine alone to exploit on this here blog and on Youtube when I’m ready for his football clip to go viral…Because who knows, one day my son might play for England.Hashtag tigermum.

The Teacher

I do actually lecture at unis quite regularly in film and TV and I taught English GCSE once upon a time so teaching comes naturally to me but we all teach our kids don’t we, every single day from manners and bedtime stories to appreciating life (how to smell the flowers, paint and even jump in muddy puddles). OK Peppa Pig taught them that flipping one but we teach those kids non stop, often without even realising it!

They follow our lead, our every move and  teach us too, how to be more patient, giving, selfless and some days how all we need is a large glass of vino or three to recover from the awful day and incessant muddy puddle jumping and back to back episodes of flipping Peppa Pig.

And now for the serious bits as parenting isn’t all fun and games…

The Councillor

Always present to LOVE, support and listen, we’ll be there for our kids as they grow, discover what heartache means and help them on their way….

The Head Chef

Creating feasts for the fussiest of customers, even Marco Pierre White would be proud and sometimes when they refuse to eat, I strop like he does!

The Cleaner

Admittedly not my favourite job of all, and I’m lucky that I have a cleaner who also likes to iron (love her) yet I find a crazy amount of my time is still spent cleaning, washing, mopping and tidying Groundhog style each and every day. Urgh!

And now for the serious bit as having kids isn’t just days in the park (if only)…

Doctors and Nurses

I think we have to often take charge and become our own doctors don’t we…go with our gut, push to get our kids seen be it an emergency doctor or A and E when we believe things aren’t quite right…we know our kids and ourselves better than anyone else white coat or not and so far I’ve never got it wrong when rushing to A and E or not accepting first diagnoses with my kids. Always trust your instinct people…

So there you have it the roles we play as parents…and I’m sure there’s more to come… part time taxi-driver for one, for now pre school and birthday party runs are the nom so I can’t imagine how it’ll be when teenagedom strikes and Alexander’s pre-England training begins ;)…

So have I missed any out, which roles do you play too?

Photograph by Kirsty Mattsson Photography

Updated Post.