Now that Alexander has turned 6 months old, I’ve started reflecting on my pregnancy with him..it seems so far away now and aside from missing my bump some days, what I really miss is my purpose of ‘Head Foetus Grower and Protector’.
Despite an early blip with an acute water infection with Alexander, I found the 9 months protecting my little bundle mostly joyful. In fact, despite the sickness with my firstborn Oliver and the diagnosis of OC towards the end, for the most part, pregnancy truly empowered me.
Yes, pregnancy can of course make you feel vulnerable as you worry about the safety of your unborn child but I generally basked in my pregnant role, loving my changing body, happy to be experiencing pregnancy again. I felt purposeful; it was my duty to keep well to ensure this little person arrived safely. I felt strong.
Pregnancy tends to make you instantly focus on the baby and yourself which meant trivial things dispersed, negative friends were divorced and only the important things in life were focused on (bar the usual tears over adverts but those hormones can be d-bags) .
Pregnancy also me made feel special, a little like Superwoman (with bigger hips and a better dress sense) as rightly or wrongly people are intrigued by your visible child bearing abilities. I often think animators have missed a trick with not having a pregnant or Mum Superhero (I mean we can multitask and our very real superpowers of creating life whiles running the world) need to be respected by cartoon makers don’t you think?
Recently my Mum commented that I loved being pregnant and having babies for the attention as much as actually having the children.
She honestly didn’t mean that cruelly and I suppose to some extent it’s true. Of course first and foremost the most amazing reason to procreate is because you are having a baby and believe me that oxymoronic moment when you meet that little stranger you feel you’ve known all your life, is intoxicating (and can be addictive) but I can’t deny that all the attention that comes with carrying and bearing a baby is pretty wonderful too.
Yes motherhood can be tough and not everyone feels good or strong pre or post birth. After Oliver’s traumatic birth, times were hard as I had to recover along with caring for a baby far from my folks.
The second time round, thankfully things worked out well; I got the trauma free birth I’d hoped for and having the support around me of my family made a huge difference. I felt good from the start. I don’t feel broody but I do feel incredibly lucky to have my beautiful family and count my pregnancies as the most rewarding times of my life.
Did pregnancy make you feel powerful?