I want this post to be as positive as possible, really I do….But I write this with a frustratingly sore, burnt leg after I spilt a cup of boiling hot tea down myself- oh and over my poor laptop too, which has only just recovered from being swamped by water earlier this month enduring a trip to Google Android hospital- so the pain in my leg might just reveal itself in my words.
You see, I’ve witnessed some strange behaviour on, and offline recently, a sense of people being or becoming less tolerant and more unkind- sometimes to myself, and also to others.
Cattiness, indifference, passive aggressive behaviour that baffles me somewhat.
However, let me also state I’ve also seen great support, strength, kick ass friendship and such generosity in spirit from my readers, social media followers and family and friends, I feel touched and grateful for the love of my work so thank you.
I just wanted to share some thoughts on the darker side I suppose…
I’m lucky to surround myself with friends who truly get me, I work with gifted, strong, and caring women (and men) who are simply thriving in their fields, visionaries, go-getters, sisters (and brothers) who honestly never fail to support, inspire or amaze me.
And for the most part, I feel untouchable thanks to the strength of all of the above and an incredible husband and close family, but I’m human too, I’m creative, sensitive, too sensitive at times, hopefully always fair and caring- so I find school yard behaviour utterly bizarre and totally unnecessary.
I left the bitchy days of an all girls school behind me many years ago…
Look, thankfully negative incidences are far and few between but when they occur be it to me personally or others, they shock me to the core, as it’s usually adults with their own children who frankly should know better.
I’ve recently heard from mates in London feeling isolated and even bullied by mothers at the school gates, professional friends not being accepted in new work places as their skills threaten others, multi award winning filmmaking and actor friends being shunned by so called friends for their success- and I’ve seen nastiness online too.
What is going on?
To me life is simple, someone hurts you, (depending on the situation) discuss, try and resolve and give more chances (I know I’ve messed up many a time myself) and people are dealing with their own battles every day- but if someone consistently upsets you or your gut tells you something is off, walk away.
Of course, behave like an adult, retain your dignity at all times and hold your head up high.
Treat others how you want to be treated yourself.
You, and your worth does not depend on others’ opinions of you. No one’s. Be strong.
A pearl of wisdom my Mum says is that I’m special. We must remember that about ourselves.
…Realise and accept not everyone will be your best friend and that, that’s OK. Horses for courses as my Mum also says (gosh she’s one wise lady). You don’t, and cannot be close to all.
Try not to create or fuel drama, focus on the good, those who matter, your family, friends, your work, and use your time wisely. Be productive. Time is so precious, don’t waste it on pettiness nor on those who might be unprofessional, dismissive or unkind.
Relationships, friendships and even business partnerships work on chemistry-sometimes the science just won’t support the union.
Likewise, please be tolerant, people have bad days (I know I do-‘hi PMT’), you don’t have to agree with what others say or believe in their views (providing they are within the lawful). However healthy debate should be just that-healthy.
Now go do some good, spread kindness like confetti people, make someone’s day, give compliments freely (and to yourself), be compassionate, thoughtful, don’t judge, empathise, and donate your time and money to those in need. You can honestly make a difference.
Most of all be nice, it’s really not that hard.
I’m off to find a frozen bag of peas for my leg.
Photo by Kirsty Mattsson Photography.