Alexander

Babies joyfully help you to discover skills you as a parent, never you knew you had. Or wanted. They’re good like that.

1. You can literally survive/function/watch the Kardashians on repeat on a few hours sleep. You might feel like total and utter shizzle with a cherry on top (remember hangovers, times your worst in history, ever by 100 then again) yet you can somehow get through each day, with the hope that tomorrow night, you’ll sleep. You won’t.

2. You can go to the ladies room (yes I’m going all Victorian on you) holding a baby. Knickers may inevitably get in a twist but with practice it becomes erm second nature. Gone are leisurely toilet times reading Elle and catching up on work emails.

2. Jumping on trampolines (like you do as soon as you’ve had a baby), boucy castles or simply just jumping may lead to bullet point no 2 occuring prematurely (*cough I’ve heard). Agh multitasking (and babies keeping Tena in business).

3. Weaning a baby means changing clothes more times than Beyoncé on tour (what was that nipple bodysuit about anyway-purleease) and you find if you don’t put a wash on every hour, you too will be parading round in your underwear most days (at home of course-unlike Bey, nips covered where possible). *Realises why the postman always has a smile on his face.

4. You can drive short distances with a crying baby or a beautiful symphony of toddler and baby cries (my personal fave) until one of them eventually sleeps or you finally get home, ready to open the gin.

5. You effortlessly handle sibling rivalry by promising older children toys, ice lollies or threatening to ‘pretend call’ their strict nursery teacher if they don’t stop trying to bash the baby over the head. Le sigh.

Now your baby survival course is complete, you can progress to the life enhancing toddler stage. Er Good luck with that one…(post coming soon).

What have your babies taught you?

Photograph ©Vicki Psarias-Broadbent.

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17 Responses

  1. Franglaise Mummy

    Love this! I’m not sure it gets any easier as they get older, I’m discovering the joys of answering questions about life, the universe and everything whilst nappy changing the baby. Yay! And there’s nothing like your 5 year old telling you that you need more of that black stuff on your eyes Mummy!

    Reply
    • honestmum

      @Franglaise Mummy hehe your eldest sounds fab! I need a lot of black stuff round my eyes to make me look awake!

      Reply
  2. Giraffe

    hahaha that’s too funny but true, you never realize everything you’re capable of until you don’t have another option but to put up with all that. But I do have to say everything is worth the pain for our children.

    Reply
  3. Xandi | The Mummy Scripts

    Too funny! I have to say that all ring true with me, especially the threatening call to the teacher – thinking that one might be getting over used now though as the power has worn off xx

    Reply
    • honestmum

      @Metropolitan Mum hehe they do in that photo but Oliver was 2 and 7 months when Alexander was born…do hope the sibling rivalry gets better xx

      Reply
  4. ebabee

    Love it! Bet you your postman won’t be swapping his route in a hurry 🙂 And those boys… gorgeous x

    Reply
  5. Notmyyearoff

    Hehe ohhhh this brings back so many memories!! I can even go to the loo balancing a toddler on my lap now. How’s that for skill? ;p

    Reply
  6. Michelle @ Bod for tea

    … that you make not like it but the world won’t end if you do the school run with a) no make-up b) dirty hair or c) clothes that have been worn to the point they will almost stand up on their own *blush*

    … to take pleasure in the simple things – like 5 minutes to yourself to read a blog post or two 😀

    Fab post Mrs x

    Reply

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