Vicki Psarias

I write prolifically (a skill I honed as a busy screenwriter over the many years in the TV and film industry)- and as friends often tell me, I tend to appear to be EVERYWHERE online simultaneously (what can I say, I’m good at scheduling folks)…

And the thing is, I LOVE what I do, and I mean- can’t live without this career of mine- LOVE what I do. I posses an endless passion for all things creative: writing, photography, vlogging, filmmaking and more- and I truly thrive off the buzz of waking up in the morning and doing all of the above, pretty much every day.

I adore connecting with readers and viewers, how instant working in the digital space is as well as forging new relationships and PUSHING myself in my pursuit of my goals.

I do MASSIVELY LOVE time out too. I heart swellingly love NOT working.

I don’t live to work.

I’m not sure people know or care much about how much down-time I actually have but I’ve noticed I’m often on the receiving end of well meaning comments about quite how busy I am.

Straight-up, honest mum style, I LOVE being busy, our lives as a family are definitely full and happy for the most part-but I’m not sure I’m as BUSY as people might think I am.

We live in a social world so all collectively only see and read what we want to present to the world.

It kind of defeats the purpose of time out if I constantly tweet that I’m just chilling out now watching Netflix or switching off for dinner every night. It can’t be all about the hyper activities.

You only SEE the busy-ness!

I’m also a full time blogger so social media is not just a part of my social life, it’s my job!

And believe me, I work hard and love working hard- but I love turning the OFF button and while nurturing a business particularly in the early years is blood sweat and tears, I’ve found the last year has seen me find a balanced ebb and flow that works for me. A healthy, happy space where I don’t often feel overwhelmed and I feel in control.

This has happened because-

I’m strict about when I STOP working and switching off everything ELECTRICAL-and while my job fulfils me, it’s not an obsession.

I don’t worry about league tables or stats. I keep an eye on views because I’m running a business but I don’t become preoccupied with them. I care about my work, if my posts, paid for or otherwise resonate, touch, inform and entertain.

In fact, now is a good time to re-share the post I wrote on how I define success. I work to feel stimulated and to provide for my kids so they can have the BEST life my husband and I can offer them.

I’ve now built my business to an extent where I can take more time out as I have a small team here, a publicist, a designer, an assistant. I can slow down when I want to but wherever your business is at, you should take the time to reflect, rest and live not LIVE TO WORK.

I remember chatting to screenwriters about the importance of living life so I had something to write about. A writer just writing is not offering their all.

…There is so much I want to do in life, with an endless list of career and life goals, places I want to travel to, projects I want to create- but I’m 100% right where I want to be right now- so anything else would be a bonus.

I do want to add though that like everything in life, nothing can or is, always smooth-sailing. This site will be 6 years old in November and there have been a great many overwhelming highs and equally, many tremendous lows.

I’m not always confident in myself despite the STRONG veneer but I know who I am:  a positive, warm, open and of course HONEST person who for the most part, believes in what I have to offer in both my creative pursuits/ business and in life.

I think the end goal for us all is to feel happy in our skin as much as feasibly possible.

I sadly regularly receive emails from other women asking me for tips on how to up their confidence and feel good about themselves as parents and creatives- and while I’m touched people are asking for my advice I also want to be REAL and state that I too struggle with those very same issues.

I don’t always feel my best, my strongest or most capable and it’s OK to have those doubts and fears, to question ourselves or swerve in confidence. It’s part of being HUMAN first and the Achilles heel to being a sensitive creative too.

The good news? With practice (and a supportive network of family, friends and colleagues) it can be overcome. The voice of self-doubt can be quietened.

I’ve blogged my tips on overcoming self-doubt and facing your fears and doing it anyway. The importance of faking it until you make it and just GOING FOR IT.

I’m tenacious that much is true. I think I was born that way. Being ambitious though must not be confused with being ruthless. I only compete with myself and will always help and support others.

I also STRONGLY believe that failure is not and CANNOT be an option and that steely determination can take you far.

I’m an eternal optimist.

I hand on heart rarely ever envy anyone (OK I’d love Kim K’s butt and am working on those squats) but I look at others’ achieving and it SPURS me on, be it making insta-worthy avocado toast or shooting something for telly.

The brain is malleable, the more you practice self-belief and positivity, the more it becomes your default mode, affecting your outlook and ultimately your actions enabling you to MAKE THINGS HAPPEN.

It’s about saying yes to things that scare you and having a go. It’s also all about the attitude of ‘gotta problem, yo I’ll solve it’.

Take me wanting to have greater flexibility in my schedule.

I want to work more fluidly so have taken action.

I’m self-employed yet have been operating as if I have no choice but to work standard hours.

So, I took my youngest son out of nursery 2 days a week so we can spend more time together and I’m working more on an evening.

I know I’m lucky to have that choice but now is the best time to take small steps and cultivate a flexible digital career if you want to follow suit.

I only have a year left before Xander goes to school and while I need and want to work and will continue to, having greater flexibility in my week is why I started blogging in the first place-to have control over my time- and be able work on my terms.

I write in advance, have long-standing projects to deliver and on time (I’ve never missed a deadline) and I schedule, schedule, schedule- so as my friends rightly noted, I appear to be everywhere all of the time (Kim must be s******* herself) ;)!

Seriously though, working online is liberating and empowering so LET IT LIBERATE AND EMPOWER YOU.

I choose whom and what I want to work with and on.

And soon, my site will be undergoing some rather exciting changes.

The site Honest Mum is evolving.

Like it’s namesake. Me.

So watch this space.

Literally.

—————————————————————————–

I’m attending the Cannes Film Festival tomorrow for a few days and can’t wait, it’s my annual time for a girlie holiday, my me-time. You can follow my trip on all my social channels, naturally!

 

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48 Responses

  1. Jim @ The coaching connector

    Great article.. The best way to feel happier at work? Choose happiness over emotions that drag you down. Choose positivity rather than dwelling on negative thoughts. Choose to learn from mistakes and bad days instead of allowing them to make you feel down about your position, your work, or yourself.

    Reply
  2. Carol Cameleon

    You say “I know I’m lucky to have that choice” Vicky, but luck is something out of our control. As you outline so well in this post, you’ve honed this space, you’ve worked your Kim K butt off (!) and instead of staying you’re lucky, I’d say you’re fortunate. You’ve created your own success in fact! thanks for hosting #brillblogposts
    Carol Cameleon recently posted…Energising with exercise … #TheZenZingMy Profile

    Reply
  3. Caro | The Twinkle Diaries

    Aaah I love this post Vixter — so inspiring! It’s sometimes hard because blogging at the moment *isn’t* my sole job and when I see pro-bloggers, such as yourself, making the whole social media thing look effortless, it makes me question if I’m doing a good job myself.

    To hear that you have a team behind you makes me breathe a sigh of relief, if I’m honest. It makes me realise that I’m doing a pretty good job, just me, myself and I. Thanks so much for your honesty — and your words of advice too xx
    Caro | The Twinkle Diaries recently posted…A weekend with the girls {Montcalm Shoreditch London Tech City}My Profile

    Reply
  4. Fern P

    These were all things I needed to hear this week! My confidence is definitely very up and down, but I like to think that I still APPEAR confident. Sometimes that’s all it takes.
    I’m excited to see your changes in the near future x

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Thanks love, really is and I totally relate, some days I feel top of the world, others my confidence wanes hugely. That’s why we need to be kind to ourselves, remind ourselves of our awesomeness and keep real friends and loving family close xx

      Reply
  5. Laura Wilson

    This is such a struggle for me right now. I had to leave my job so I am trying to focus on my blog instead but not bringing in any money is really putting the pressure in. I feel I am making my blog worse by over doing it but also dont want to slow down in case I ruin progress. I try not to blog around the kids but do need to try and find a balance, have a day off and switch off more with less obsessing, especially at bed time! Great post, hope you are enjoying the sunshine xx

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Don’t feel guilty, my post isn’t about not working hard but making sure you and I don’t burn out, being kind to ourselves. Hard work pays, creatively and financially but don’t put too much pressure on yourself. The sun and fest was wonderful thanks, back now xx

      Reply
  6. Mummy in a TuTu (@mummyinatutu)

    i definitely need to be stricter about when I turn off and find that balance. but in the beginning its very difficult not to work anytime and everytime you have the chance
    #brilliantblogpost
    Mummy in a TuTu (@mummyinatutu) recently posted…#TribalChat Blogging Awards – May 2016My Profile

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  7. Kate Tunstall

    Fab post. I’m working on finding that balance and it’s difficult. Particularly because my blog is still young and I’m constantly trying to prove and IMprove myself.

    Some great points to keep in mind here x
    Kate Tunstall recently posted…“How Can We Protect Our Children from Grooming?”My Profile

    Reply
  8. One Messy Mama

    I loved this. Especially the ” I don’t Live to work” part, just because we are passionate about something, does not mean it needs to take over our lives.. It then becomes an addiction and we all know how unhealthy those are! SO important.. #Brillblogposts
    One Messy Mama recently posted…The Joy Finding Bucket ListMy Profile

    Reply
  9. Ebabee

    Love your passion and agree with everything you say. Time out is so important. I love my work too but spending time with my family is so, so important to me as is reading, walking and having a bit of me time. I can’t say I get the balance right all the time but I try. Can’t wait to see the new site – I know it will be ah-mazing! xx

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Absolutely and I agree there, no one can get it right all of the time but being strict about boundaries and time out is so important, thanks darling. Excited for the new look soon xx

      Reply
  10. Petra / Be Healthy Now

    Really look forward to seeing what’s coming! I love your positivity, and your success is really inspiring. I want exactly what you wanted when you first started – “have control over my time- and be able work on my terms.” One day! 🙂
    Petra / Be Healthy Now recently posted…Walking in Peak District: Thorpe to DovedaleMy Profile

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  11. Michelle Reeves (The Joy Chaser)

    Woo hoo! Your passion pours from the page my lovely friend and I’m so with you on all of the above. I’m working long hours at the moment to get my new business venture off the ground but I make sure that I take time out for me, to run, to pause, to play with the kids. There has to be a balance. Super excited to see what’s coming next with Honest Mum – I just know it’s going to be amazing! Enjoy Cannes lovely, can’t wait to see the pix xx
    Michelle Reeves (The Joy Chaser) recently posted…6 habits of successful entrepreneurs to boost your blog strategy todayMy Profile

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Thank you my darling, so important to take that time for yourself and to do what makes you happy. Always a balancing act. Cannes was amazing, wonderful to be back with the kids now though. Will share the experience soon xxx

      Reply
  12. laura dove

    Great post, I think you have the balance just right. I find that it’s very easy to get caught up in social media, I have had to take a step back from that lately and remind myself of the reasons why I write. Fab post, has really inspired me. #brilliantblogposts

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      So true Laura, I love Social Oomph so I schedule tweets relating to evergreen posts (as well as new posts I want to plug) and that really helps with time management x

      Reply
  13. Debbie

    Hi Vicki, you really are an inspirational lady. Your honesty is something that most women can relate too, it doesn’t matter who you are or where you come from there are certain things that everyone can relate to.

    You’ve worked hard to make Honest Mum the blog it is today, so you should be able to sit back and enjoy life more.

    Look forward to seeing the upcoming changes and have a fab weekend, you never know you may just bump into Kim! Now that would be Instaworthy photo for sure

    xx
    Debbie recently posted…Parenting An Older Child With AutismMy Profile

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Thanks for such a wonderful and kind comment Debbie and for all your support, it really does mean so much to me xx

      Reply
  14. Morgan Prince

    I love how you write so honestly about everything Vicki. At the moment I’d say I am slightly obsessed with my work. Over the last couple of years I’ve worked hard to to build, and am slowly getting there. I do take time away from the computer but I’m always checking my phone! It is a habit now, and one I probably ought to do something about.
    I do however take time out, I spend time with my boys. They are awesome after all!

    Ooh exciting changes… can’t wait to see what you have in store for us! 🙂

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Aw it’s something that affects us all Morgan but the more you practise switching off properly, the easier it gets and the happier you’ll fine, honestly xx

      Reply
  15. Emma

    love your posts and positive attitude. really inspiring. thank you for sharing and have fun in Cannes! #brillblogposts

    Reply
  16. Kate

    this is so, so inspiring! I love your positivity and self-belief. And I also like how you empahsise the importance of not being busy. i was getting really blocked, and since taking a few days to rest at home and do the bare minimum I’ve been having so many ideas! #brilliantblogposts
    Kate recently posted…Why Tantrums Are Not A ‘Behavioural Issue’My Profile

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      A break is so good for the soul and always we creatives to become inspired again, thanks for your fab comment x

      Reply
  17. Eb Gargano

    Great post, Vicki. It’s something I’ve slowly been learning over the course of my first year of blogging (my blog is 1 tomorrow – can you believe it?). Just because you CAN work all of the time, just because you enjoy what you do (I really, really love blogging) doesn’t mean you SHOULD work all of the time. It’s just not healthy. Slowly, over the course of the last year I have learnt to carve out real, proper, quality time for my family – where the off button gets firmly pressed on the computer/phone AND not just that but also to carve out time just for me AND not feel guilty about it! Still working on that last one 😉 but I think it’s the right way to go – or I will just burn out!! Eb x
    Eb Gargano recently posted…Homemade Chicken FajitasMy Profile

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    • Honest Mum

      Love this comment, so important not to work all the time, as you say, just because you can! Thanks for this xx

      Reply
  18. Turning Up in Devon

    I love your sentence about practising self belief and positivity and making it a default setting. Positive thought is one of the kindest things we can do for ourselves and ultimately for others too. And yes It’s definitely all about balance x

    Reply
  19. Sarah - Arthurwears

    I can really relate to this – mostly with my teaching career before I went on maternity leave and the lack of balance I had (and had to have in order to do the job) is one of the main reasons I decided to take a career break after having Arthur. Being a full time Mummy to him (and doing some Nannying twice a week whilst Arthur comes with me) is keeping me just as busy, if not more busy, but it’s a different kind of busy – it’s busy with life rather than busy with just work. Fitting my blogging in around it can be a challenge but I LOVE to blog and I love to write – although my husband does tell me he feels sometimes that he is competing for my attention as the only time I really get to sit and write is when Arthur is in bed. I’d love to build up the blog a bit more, whilst keeping a good balance and knowing when to switch off. I am also trying to remember to do things that may be out of my comfort zone. I recently shot some promotional videos for bareMinerals and this was my first real experience of being filmed and I really was so nervous to do it at first – but I knew I’d forever regret it if I didn’t. Your words are very inspirational and I love to be reminded of the importance of the things you talk about in this post 🙂 #brillblogposts

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Oh that’s wonderful to read Sarah, I was in a film for bareMinerals-they are such a wonderful team there. So important to keep doing things that push you out of your comfort zone as that’s what makes us grow. It’s all about balance isn’t it and making sure you are happy x

      Reply
  20. Clare

    Vicki I so love this post! It hits home with me! I work full time and I travel and I didn’t think I had any more time available! But you know you can always fine the time for the things you love. So I have a blog and I’m probably the happiest (and busiest) I’ve ever been! And I’m better in my real director role too! When you love what you do work becomes life and they all sort of join together! I’m sometimes too excited to switch off but I do switch off! Enjoy Your girly time!

    You inspire me and yes ANYTHING is possible even as an oldie blogger!

    Cx

    Reply
  21. Charlotte Oates

    I just love your attitude, every time I read one of these posts I feel spurred on to try harder and do better (I’m a terrible procratinator and know I could get so much more done if I focussed more!). That said, Josh is starting nursery 5 mornings a week in September and I really want to make the most of having him around more for the next few months as I know I’ll miss him like crazy ones he’s gone (although I should be so much more productive too as he’s a terrible distraction if I’m trying to work).

    Have a fabulous time in Cannes xx
    Charlotte Oates recently posted…GIVEAWAY: Win A Voucher For The Juice Premium Worth £36My Profile

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Oh that means a lot Charlotte, it’s always a balancing act but that time will really help, thanks for your lovely comment, you are one inspiring lady x

      Reply
  22. Kiran

    I love your attitude Vicki. You know I believe work hard, play hard – and like you, family time is so important, as is time off and away. It keeps you refreshed and loving what you do if you give yourself space from it. Have an amazing well-deserved you-time in Cannes. Can’t wait to see the pictures. And, can’t wait to see the changes you have ahead. Lots of love xx

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      We are so similar, thank you darling, really excited for some girlie time (missing the kids already and haven’t left yet) but I always return so refreshed and happy xx

      Reply
  23. manstayshome

    Positive attitude definitely makes things happen – you have to go for it!

    Work/Life balance is a major issue in teaching (where I came from); I was writing the other day under the heading ‘I never took books home to mark’ – it’s true – I was absolutely clear that my family time would be just that.

    Thanks as ever for sharing your tips and thoughts – always interesting!

    Will keep an eye on the site…

    Reply
  24. Christine

    It’s so important to take me time even when you’ve made what you are passionate about your job! I love that you say that it’s not been easy and that you take time to switch off and take care of your family! I think we can get very caught up in social media “stuff”, likes and views and all of that. It’s important to stay grounded and take time to reflect on what is really important in life. Hope you have a great time in Cannes! X

    Reply

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