Vicki-Honest Mum

Recently my husband and close friends have informed me that I’m too nice!

A back-handed compliment if ever there was one right?!

Too nice? Am I too nice?!

OK I do try and be nice to everyone (strangers or not) that is true but I don’t want to fall into the walk-over category either.

Those who know me, know I’m no wallflower- but as my Dad loves to remind me-apparently I’m too forgiving, too tolerant, too, well, nice.

No one wants to feel taken of advantage do they?!

I makes friends easily and I meanย ‘sitting on a train and we’re best mates by the time we arrive’-easily- but I’ve made friends all over the world this way-fascinating, smart, enriching friends I’d otherwise not have known if I wasn’t so well, LOUD and OPEN.

Look, I like to think I’m a pretty smart cookie, I worked in the TV and film industry for many years before becoming a blogger and believe me, the media industry certainly attracts the best and the very worst of people so my gut has undergone serious training and is fairly fine tuned so I trust it.

However despite honing ‘my gut’ over the years-particularly as a documentary and drama director, I’ve ignored it in recent times-and have paid the consequences with the metaphorical scars to prove it.

I go out of my way to help people I barely know when I can (I love how it makes me feel useful) and I hope people-readers and those IRL consider me an approachable and genuine person. I can’t be anything but myself (I’d make a really BAD actress)!

However, the being burnt bit-that’s hard, especially when you’ve trusted and let your guard down with people who’ve hurt you.

That’s life I suppose-s**** happens to the best of us- and we must accept our own flaws- and equally not let other people’s issues affect our own lives.

All this though, does make me question how I am with others.ย If indeed I am too kind, too generous with my time and a bit too understanding at times?

I’m a tough lass- I don’t take shizzle, I’m not scared to walk away from negative people or situations- but I FORGIVE, always and even those who don’t say sorry.

I don’t hold grudges nor have I ever (I literally cannot remember once holding a grudge and at 35 that’s quite something).

That doesn’t mean I don’t stand up for myself (I do)-I just choose my battles carefully and try not to have battles in the first place.

I’m honest (obvs) and if there’s an issue, I tend to like to pick up the phone or even better, meet, to resolve things. I give people chances and expect the same myself.

I pride myself on trying to understand other people’s points of view, to have empathy-a book I read at uni ‘The Art of Dramatic Writing’ by Lagos Egri really cemented that skill, to truly understand why people behave in the way they do and the effects of physiology, sociology and psychology has on behaviour- and most of the time (NOT PMT week natch) I don’t really sweat the small stuff.

Life is too full of wonder, good times and gorgeous little people to ground you, for all that.ย Am I right or am I right?!

I’m lucky too, I have a strong Big Fat Greek family and a unit of close friends, many I’ve known since I was young and newer friendships I trust implicitly.

…And here’s the thing- I don’t want to CHANGE, to become closed off and less open, to stop connecting with others- strangers or not-it’s what I love so much about working online- but I have undoubtedly become a little more wary lately, more private and less trusting to some extent.

My husband keeps telling me to observe how others treat me for a while before going all OUT into full blown friendship (now that sentence just sounded weird-apols! You know what I meant)!…

So I’m doing more of that-being open but wary. Working on stricter boundaries.

…I’m still not sure you can be TOO nice though-I say give people chances, forgive f*** ups as you hope to be forgiven yourself- and be open to new friendships-just work on boundaries and build trust before you become friends with absolutely everyone.

I’ll have remember that when I’m next on the train won’t I?!

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80 Responses

  1. Jane

    Vicki you are honestly one of the nicest bloggers I’ve ever met! On the net.Many bloggers seek your readership then ignore you when you take the time to comment. You – never. But if you’re kind and people are mean by return you have to walk away.

    Reply
  2. Michelle Reeves (The Joy Chaser)

    This post reminded me that when I was in college one of my professors counselled me never to use NICE. ‘It’s a lazy adjective’, she’d say. Since then I’ve had a love/hate relationship with writing that word but it’s part of a mantra I’ve sort of lived my life by – if you can’t say anything nice, say nothing at all. Can you be too nice? I don’t think you can. Being nice can open you up to being hurt, for sure, but if we live our lives with openness and positively that’s a risk we have to take, learn from and move on. I’d rather that than live my life defensively. And as for bitchiness? I have 0 tolerance for it these days! Fab post honey, as always, hugs x
    Michelle Reeves (The Joy Chaser) recently posted…6 habits of successful entrepreneurs to boost your blog strategy todayMy Profile

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Totally agree and yes my teachers and lecturers said the same but seemed like the ideal word for the piece and I’ve been accused of being too nice recently so wanted to put it out there. You are so wise as always Michelle, I’m the same, all about moving away from negativity xx

      Reply
  3. Fran Back With A Bump

    Good post and something I agree with. I’ve often reflected on “friendships” and seen how much I’ve done for people for the support to not have been there when I needed it. Suffice to say I’m a bit more guarded now

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      I think it’s about being careful who you let in to your life. My husband always tells me to take a step back and not rush into friendships.

      Reply
  4. Morgan Prince

    A great read. I find I’m almost the opposite, not that I’m nasty to everyone and don’t trust people, but that I’m very wary of people. I find it hard to make friends because I’m not open, I tend to stay quiet during conversations unless I have something interesting to say. A lot of people think I’m standoffish because of it, but I’m really not. I’d happily say hello to someone and chat, but I’m no good at small talk! As for being TOO open, TOO friendly, is that a thing? I think as long as you’re not being taken advantage of then where’s the harm? You make tons of friends (jealous!) and have wonderful connections worldwide. You go girl! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Reply
  5. Katie

    I have also been accused of being “too nice” and yes this niceness has caused some heartbreak on my behalf. However, I think I would feel a whole lot worse in myself bring horrible and cold to people rather than the nice way I try to be. Yes, niceness leaves you more open to hurt. But if we aren’t nice we will only end up being horrible to ourselves too. Great post
    #brilliantblogpost
    Katie recently posted…A Thousand Words…My Profile

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      So true hun, nice wins every time but I do think I need to work on my own boundaries as I’m often still nice to those who aren’t to me and I need to be stronger about walking away x

      Reply
  6. Marina Sofia

    I’ve been pondering that myself. I don’t want to be suspicious, calculating, closed off, I would much rather believe in people and give them the benefit of the doubt. I do have to watch myself to what extent I become too eager to please and when I stand up for myself (haven’t always got the balance right in the past). But I do worry that if I teach my children to be like me, I might be setting them up to have people walking all over them. Which is a sad comment on the state of the world and which I wish weren’t true!
    Slightly different topic, but I wrote something about ‘can there ever be too much compassion’, which shows some of my concerns about this.
    https://findingtimetowrite.wordpress.com/2015/02/20/can-there-ever-be-too-much-compassion/

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Oh Marina, I totally understand where you are coming from. I think the balance is to be ourselves, open and kind and always expect the best but also be realistic, not have too many expectations and also work on boundaries. Looking forward to reading your post, thank you x

      Reply
  7. Kirsty @ My Home Truths

    I know I’m too nice but I’d rather help others as much as I can and go to bed knowing that I did all I could to help them than worry that I wasn’t nice or caring enough. As long as you have boundaries and you are comfortable with how much you give, I don’t think you can go too far wrong.
    Kirsty @ My Home Truths recently posted…Forget about colours – it’s time for autism acceptanceMy Profile

    Reply
  8. Silly Mummy

    No. Well, yes, you can be too nice, if it is judged purely on the basis of will people take advantage of that? Because some will, that is always the way. But I believe that you are still coming out on top – you are being the nicer person, you are not being cynical and, whether they realise it or not, you are having a much better experience of life by being happy and positive and nice than they are from taking advantage of it. I think that is who you are, and therefore the people who will take advantage of that would be taking so much more from you if you let them change the way you are and like to be. People who protect themselves from being let down by people often inadvertently protect themselves from a lot of joy they could have experienced from giving people a chance & not being let down. You’re not ‘too’ nice. You’re nice. It’s not a bad thing.

    Reply
  9. Mirka Moore

    You know what I said about this many times before, and know you are a truly lovely person, and yes sometimes too nice. That way i do not mean to say you should stop being nice (as that is just you) but you need to be more aware and also accept that unfortunately there are people who will and want to take advantage of you being too nice. Love you xxx
    Mirka Moore recently posted…Becoming BritMums Fitness Round-up EditorMy Profile

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Aw thank you darling, I know exactly what you mean and you are one of my closest friends in the world and I value what you say so much. I do need to work on my boundaries and trusting my gut more, love you too xx

      Reply
  10. One Messy Mama

    Yup! Being too nice can get you burnt. But I would rather be nice and get burnt than grow old regretting never opening myself up to showing others what kindness is! Being nice in the world that we live in is a gift.. So .. Cheers to forgiving and taking the high road! #brillblogposts

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Thanks very much, really wise words, I won’t ever stop being open and kind but I do need to work on boundaries a bit more and trusting my gut x

      Reply
  11. My boys and me

    I couldn’t agree more with you here hun. Don’t ever change the way you are though. I love open honest people and can’t be bothered with all the negativity some people have. If someone takes advantage of you just hold your head up high and walk away knowing you are the better person. Xx

    Reply
  12. International Elf Service

    I’m very similar to you – I love love meeting people and chatting to them. I see people as a story book waiting to unfold and I find everyone so interesting. I definitely agree there are limits and boundaries but I do like to assume the best in people unless proven otherwise. I do stand up for myself if needs be and I think relationships fizzle naturally if people aren’t meeting in the middle. Very interesting topic!

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      100% agree on that but I haven’t trusted my gut on occasions over the last year and I do feel I need to work on my boundaries ๐Ÿ™‚
      Honest Mum recently posted…Book A Holiday From ร‚ยฃ15 With The Sun!My Profile

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  13. White Camellias

    Forgiveness and tolerance are definitely traits of a really lovely personality. The problem with being nice sometimes is that other people don’t appreciate it and take advantage of it. Be nice but also be aware of others not so good intentions.

    I am a total fool most of the time but I’m working on it because lets be honest, being nice is great but not to our own detriment!

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Yes lovely, I don’t want to stop being nice and open, forgiving and tolerant, I just don’t want to be taken for a fool! xx

      Reply
  14. Ojo Henley

    I tend to be the same. My husband says I can meet someone on a bus, and have their life stories by the time I get to my stop. However, I’m a very good ‘people reader’ I can usually know what a person is like, within minutes.
    Saying all that, I’ve been accused of being too nice, to the detriment of my own well being. But surely that’s just me, and my true friends love me for that reason? x
    Ojo Henley recently posted…Reasons to be CheerfulMy Profile

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Really interesting comment, yes that’s why people love you no doubt, I personally need to work on boundaries more xx

      Reply
  15. Lizzie Somerset

    Just re-read, such s great post! Following on from yesterday I believe boundaries are key! What’s ok for you and not OK for you, will be different for you as for me, depending on our personality, life experiences and our upbringing. Like I said I don’t think it’s about not being nice, we have to be ourselves, with boundaries in place we can be ourselves and people will fall into their right place. Much love

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      So true lovely, all our boundaries will vary, thanks for this and your email too, looking forward to seeing the film x

      Reply
  16. Kat | Beau Twins

    Superb post, I totally resonated with your words. I’m the same, always giving, always caring and can make friends easily. I always thought I was a good judge of character but like anything in life I have got people wrong on occasions. But like you can easily walk away and make room for the right people to take their place. So glad and blessed to call you my friend Vicki. You have such a gorgeous heart and soul. Never change. I know you won’t. Anyone that has wronged you doesn’t deserve to be in your life. Big love beautiful. Xxx

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Thank you my darling, this comment made me smile, we are so similar and we can’t be right about everyone can we-can be so hard online too I’ve found. You are a wonderful lady yourself and feel the same way about you-so lucky blogging has brought so many amazing friends like you into my life xx

      Reply
  17. Charlene

    I don’t think you can be too nice as long as you’re doing it because it makes you feel good and you’re not secretly expecting a certain reaction. I know friends that have ended up gutted that their ‘niceness’ was rejected or unreciprocated #brilliantblogposts

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Thanks Charlene, wise words. I think it’s fair to treat others how we expect to be treated ourselves but as you say try not to be disappointed when that doesn’t happen

      Reply
  18. Jess Paterson

    Your lovely personality is the heart of your blog and your online life so you shouldn’t change that ever – look at how many followers you have, who obviously all like what you do and who you are. But I can only imagine how difficult it can be to navigate relationships with the many people who want to engage with you as you have such a formidable (and well-deserved!) online presence. I think you are right to protect yourself with a little caution, but never stop being you!
    xx

    Reply
  19. becca farrelly

    Interesting post! I think its lovely to be forgiving, caring and genuinely want to help people although, like you, I know that it means you spend a lot of time being let down by other people and disappointed that not everyone believes the same things! It is definitely about balance but don’t change what you believe in! ๐Ÿ™‚

    #brillblogposts

    Reply
  20. Sam McKean

    I’m in the same boat, nice to every one, try to help. Get burned a LOT. It’s hard to keep the faith sometimes. Good to know there are others out there feeling the same ๐Ÿ™‚

    Reply
  21. laura dove

    Great post! I think I have always been guilty of being too nice and ultimately I have felt that some people have treated me like a bit of a mug! In recent years, and especially in recent months, I have toughened up a lot and although I am still very nice, I have my limits!! #brilliantblogposts

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Oh glad to read you’ve toughened up, so important-yes to still being kind but to establish boundaries is crucial x

      Reply
  22. Mummy here and there

    I think you just be cautious. My husband is too nice and sometimes it can lead to vulnerable situations. I don’t think there is anything wrong with being nice but you also have to be selfish and look after yourself too as I have seen him being taken advantage of. #brilliant blogposts

    Reply
  23. Regina L. L. Wells

    Vicki, did you have a tap on my phone yesterday because my father and I were JUST discussing this very issue yesterday? I’m more similar to your husband, and my father is more similar to you. I believe in forgiveness, but I don’t fool with you once you do me over…and it doesn’t matter who you are–family or friend. My father believes in drawing a line, but his is WAY further out than mine, so we argue because I feel that he is too good to people who have no good intentions. I broke one of my rules in dealing with people a few years back because of the length of the relationship and I felt sorry for the person. I’ll be doggone if the person didn’t go and prove the necessity for my rule and has made it so that no one else will ever get a pass again no matter the circumstances. Going to your point of why people are the way that they are, I can almost 100% assure that the difference between my father and I stem from his having siblings and my being an only child. My mother, who had siblings, was the same way…giving to an extreme and to the sacrifice of herself and others around her sometimes. I don’t necessarily think that you can be too nice, though. I don’t equate being nice with being a pushover or giving too much. Being nice is being nice and what we are supposed to do. You keep on being your beautiful self, girl!
    Regina L. L. Wells recently posted…Roasted Cabbage and Lemon Lentil SaladMy Profile

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      What a wonderful comment and made me laugh about the tap on the phone, great minds! I think you are right that having siblings does affect how you view things in that I had to get on with my brother, which I naturally did and do and maybe my tolerance levels were increased. Not saying you don’t have high tolerance levels though, I hugely respect your attitude and I want to be more like you, I let people in too easily. I’m no push over but I do need to work on boundaries hun x

      Reply
  24. Kirsten Wick

    Very interesting post. I used to think that I’m too nice. However, social media changed me a little. When I started using Twitter before my blog, I was naive and trusted people too easily. I had a bad experience (yes although I was already in my 40s) and it got me thinking. I think I differentiate if I meet someone in person or just via the internet. But what I hate in real life is when I’m being taken advantage of and someone is actually not interesent in me as a person at all. Love, Kirsten xx

    http://www.thelifbissue.com

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Thanks Kirsten and sorry to read this, I’ve been there myself-it’s so hard to tell who is geniune online isn’t it?! Thanks for this xx

      Reply
  25. Lizzie

    Amen! You’re like my soul sisters. I’m outgoing when meeting new people and incredibly confident (but less so in front of family and close friends, strange that). I’m always open and understanding with new people, I’ve forgiven if every someone needs forgiving because we’re only human and we all have our crappy moment right? The only thing I notice is that not everyone is as understanding and open as I am. If someone needs to cancel, even if it’s because they’re just tired I’m completely fine with it and we reschedule, a little disappointed but we move on. If I need to cancel because one of my babes are ill or my hubby has had a last min day off and we’d like to spend the day as a family instead, some people are a little less understanding. I think you’re a fab woman and if we lived closer I’m sure we’d be buddies but maybe observing people from afar first isn’t such a bad thing. But follow your intuition, you can normally tell if someone is worth your time x

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Thanks so much, that’s so kind, how amazing would it be if we lived closer, I’d love to meet you guys and hang out! I’m sorry others are not as understanding as you are, have you tried discussing/reaasoning? Try and take it as a compliment as they love hanging out with you so are disappointed when you can’t xx

      Reply
  26. Right Royal Mother

    I think ‘being too nice’ is a rather British way of thinking you are being over-friendly. So we don’t do it much. But we should. I completely agree with you in that life is way too short to be too cautious/unfriendly to people ‘just in case’; equally it’s important to have personal ‘boundaries’ so that you don’t get overwhelmed (see that poor woman who was hounded by charity phone calls). A thought-provoking post; thank you. #brillblogposts

    Reply
  27. Fi

    Good question – I think many people will have been hurt by being “too nice” or perhaps more accurately, too trusting. However, it’s better for yourself not to hold on to grudges, forgiving and forgetting make you a better, less bitter person and your life more positive. Doesn’t mean you have to be best friends after being burned – you can be a nice person and still be cautious. #brillblogposts

    Reply
  28. helen

    Amen to this sister! I get told I’m too nice all the time, but it’s just me- like you, this is my default setting. And I think to be open and friendly and approachable is a good thing! I don’t think you can be too nice, you are just being genuine… xxxxx

    Reply
  29. Ebabee

    Love this post. I think there’s a big difference between being nice and being a pushover – you’re definitely the former and not the latter. Don’t ever change – you are genuinely a kind, open, honest and supportive person and that’s what makes you, you. And is it possible to be too ‘nice’ – I don’t think so! x

    Reply
  30. Shahida

    Thanks for sharing . I think we need money re people like you in the world. I look around today and just wonder what has happened to make so many people bitter and cold hearted.

    I am the same, people tell me I am too kind for my own good but I wouldn’t change the way I am for no body.i believe in doing good for others and hopefully when I need it the same will come along .

    Reply
    • Shahida

      Ups was meant to say *more people like you…
      Shahida recently posted…Book of the week- The Tale of Peter RabbitMy Profile

      Reply
    • Honest Mum

      So lovely and knew what you meant, we mustn’t change, I just don’t want others to take advantage of my kindness-have seen this happen over the last year x

      Reply
  31. Emma

    Really great post and thought-provoking. first time linking up with your linky so interesting to read some new posts ๐Ÿ™‚ It’s great to be super nice but it’s when others start taking advantage that I have a problem. I often feel like I am the friend that always makes an effort and it can get tiring. I’ve been trying to go out of my way to be nice to people I meet during the day – to just smile, say hello etc. it is all too easy to just pass people by. The lady in the Tesco metro the other day looked so cold and fed up and I started talking to her and she was smiling by the end. prob thought I was a right one and was pleased when id paid and gone lol ! #brilliantblogposts

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Oh that’s so wonderful to read Emma, we all have the power to make a difference to people’s lives don’t we, even in the smallest but most meaningful ways! Thanks for linking up too, lovely to have you join in ๐Ÿ™‚

      Reply
  32. Catherine @ Not Dressed As Lamb

    Vicki there’s a quick answer to your post title: No, it isn’t possible to be too nice!! You’re the classic example of someone who is *incredibly* nice (by that I mean you’re kind, thoughtful, entertaining, positive and so many other wonderful things). There’s nothing more depressing than people who just seem to have an inability to be pleasant to others.

    Nice is an underestimated quality – there really isn’t a better word for it, it does get a bad press I feel! You mentioned some people think it means you can be a pushover if you’re really nice … I may have met you only once but it was enough to know that you’re anything but, in fact the mere suggestion of you being a pushover made me laugh out loud ๐Ÿ˜‰

    The internet could do with a lot more nice – it’s something that it lacks on a daily basis. The alternative is negativity in all its forms… Ain’t nobody got time for that!!!!!!!!!

    Fantastic read, thanks so much for writing this ๐Ÿ™‚

    Catherine x

    P.S. Just remembered a lovely thing I read about a girl when she was young who was taught by her mum to teach her to be nice: When you meet someone for the first time, try to think of at least five things that you like about them. Their hair, their voice, the way their eyes sparkle when they talk… Anything. She said it taught her to always see the good in people rather than being negative from the beginning – I can’t think of a nicer thing to do when you meet new people as you’ll always come across as positive, you’re bound to end up complimenting them on at least one of those things…!

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Oh Catherine what a lovely comment, thank you so much for your kind words about me too-I felt the same way about you: warm, kind, smart and fun to be around. You are right about negativity being such a drain online and IRL. I adore the advice on finding the best in others, so important to focus on the positive. Thanks for making my day today lovely xx

      Reply
  33. Sarah G

    This is such an interesting post. I too have been labelled “too nice” and have been burnt by people taking advantage of my good nature but i would rather be known for being “too nice” than a nasty person!
    Sarah G recently posted…Come Wean With Me – Part 1My Profile

    Reply
  34. Sara Skillington

    An interesting read, Vicki. I am sometimes disappointed by people not being nice/kind as I think it usually means they have been thoughtless or uncaring. I don’t see how it can be a negative to be kind so therefore would agree with it not being possible to be too nice. I do realise that can sometimes leave us vulnerable and open to being hurt but I think that would tell me all I needed to know about that person and wouldn’t stop me from changing my own behaviour. I would probably just interact less and less with them. I do think we also need to be nice/kind to ourselves too though. Being kind to ourselves I am sure also helps us become a better person. An interesting topic! #BrilliantBlogPosts
    Sara Skillington recently posted…Wraps – Reasons Why They Are Great For KidsMy Profile

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Thanks Sara, absolutely agree with you there, we definitely must be kind to ourselves and others. I do feel I need to create greater boundaries though, I can be too trusting and especially of those who don’t deserve my trust.

      Reply
  35. Michaela Ruud

    Being horrible won’t make you friends and won’t keep the friends you have so I would pick being too nice over being horrible anyday #brillblogposts

    Reply
  36. Sarah (Grenglish/Yiayia's Kouzina)

    I think there is a difference between being too nice and letting people take advantage of you. You have always been nice to me, made me feel very included and welcome in the blogging community and generous with your time. If anyone asked me if I think you are nice – HELL YEAH! However, I also do not think you would take any crap! I’ve jumped into friendships too quickly in the past, only to regret it later. I’m a bit more savvy these days ๐Ÿ˜‰ I think the key is in finding a way to be nice, even when saying a firm No thank you!
    Sarah (Grenglish/Yiayia’s Kouzina) recently posted…The Key BowlMy Profile

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    • Honest Mum

      Thank you Sarah, I feel exactly the same way about you too. I’m the same when it comes to friendships, I rush in too quickly and then get hurt, definitely need to protect myself more on that front. You are right, I don’t take crap although I think I have done quite a lot over the last year! You live and learn huh x

      Reply
  37. Parenting By Numbers

    Great post, I think you can be too nice but I think the issue occurs when like myself you lack confidence. I have bent over far too far to accommodate people because I ear confrontations so I can be walked over. You need to remember to be nice to yourself first ๐Ÿ™‚
    Parenting By Numbers recently posted…Day tripperMy Profile

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    • Honest Mum

      Sorry to read that and thank you for your wise words, I think there are always times we lack confidence or try too hard -I know it happens to me although I am mostly a confident person. Being nice to ourselves is key isn’t it x

      Reply
  38. Leigh - Headspace Perspective

    Love this Vicki – being nice (which in human terms I define as being kind, considerate, and empathetic) is a wonderful thing, and you have an abundance of those qualities. But can one be too nice? Definitely, when those qualities overshadow you meeting your own needs and there’s a risk of any of us becoming a bit of a doormat. I like to remember the phrase “you can’t pour from an empty cup” – life is about balance. In short, to be nice to others you have to be nice to yourself too. Phew bit of an epic comment! Wise words darling xxx
    Leigh – Headspace Perspective recently posted…The Week That Was: March 29, 2016My Profile

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    • Honest Mum

      Absolutely love this comment Leigh and I prefer the longer comments, so thoughtful. You are absolutely right, a good friend said the same thing to me last week about being an empty vessel when we feel drained and used. Thank you for this lovely x

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  39. Kayla Arnold

    Love this post! Really interesting read. I think I need to learn to be a bit nicer sometimes haha!
    #brillblogposts
    Kayla Arnold recently posted…HOW TO SPOT A LIME CRIME FAKEMy Profile

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Thanks Jeremy that’s very kind, I hope that’s the case too although I do sometimes think I veer into the ‘too nice’ category. Definitely time to be a bit stricter on boundaries on that front!

      Reply
  40. jodie filogomo

    Of course you’re right!!
    First off, who does it help to hold a grudge anyways? It usually affects you more than the other person anyways!
    And what is wrong with being nice? If there were more nice people around, maybe there’d be less wars!
    Thanks for hosting! jodie
    http://www.jtouchofstyle.com

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Totally and I won’t change how I treat people but I will be a little more cautious to how open I am as sadly not everyone will be genuine ๐Ÿ™‚

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  41. manstayshome

    Interesting read. Really enjoyed your thoughts on this.

    I guess as long as you know yourself and trust your judgement of people, there’s no reason not to be nice; you can be nice knowing you won’t let them get in close!

    Thanks for sharing your feelings about this.

    Reply
  42. Jen Walshaw

    A really interesting read. I think it is all about balance. It is really hard to know what is right. I trust my instincts, but was badly burned about 9 years ago and it really hurt me and I felt myself pull back and change. But I am a big believer in karma and in always being nicer than you need to be, I am extremely loyal and do not take to bitchiness at all, however……..I have learned the hard way that my filters and intuition is not as strong online as in real life. So I just go by the rule if I have nothing nice to say, then I do not say anything!
    Jen Walshaw recently posted…10 Top tips for dealing with picky eatersMy Profile

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Love that Jen, I follow the same rules but you are right, it can be hard to trust your gut 100% when it comes to online (sorry you were hurt) as it’s so much harder than meeting people in real life. I have zero tolerance for bitchiness too. Thanks for your comment ๐Ÿ™‚

      Reply

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