big brother kissing baby brother

So I wrote a post a month ago on feeling broody with the fitting title Maybe Baby?

Fast forward to more chats with the husband, Peter (a baby isn’t imminent by the way) but we’ve been discussing the possibility more and it feels like a real option down the line and something we might well go for, and whilst I’m broody (I’m not sure I’ve ever stopped being broody), I’m also a little bit scared.

Scared I won’t be able to cope with three kids (even writing that scares me a little), juggling work and a crazy schedule with and a baby (although I’ve done it before, twice), scared I might have a traumatic birth again like the first time (although I had a calm elective the second time round), worried I might have a tough pregnancy as I had some hard-going times with both and anxious it will take me forever to lose the baby weight.

Argh, I realise it must sound vain sharing that last fear but I’m not someone that loses baby weight easily and whilst that wouldn’t stop me from having another baby, I know it will take me a year if not more, to lose what in the past was 3 and 2 and 1/2 stones with each pregnancy respectively.

I wish I was like Kate Middleton or Victoria Beckham: baby out and body snaps straight back. I realise they are rare/lucky but it’s a lie to say body image and weight gain doesn’t affect self-esteem. It does. My job is public-facing too and I’m already incredibly tough on myself as it is and know full-well as a former TV Director that the camera adds pounds.

All that being said, watching videos of Oliver and Xander as babies and toddlers and reflecting on touching photos like the one above, as well as knowing how much I love my kids and how that love simply multiplies with each child, means I think expanding our family is something I do hope to do one day.

It’s not because I want a girl either, I’d be happy with another boy, I suppose I just always thought I’d have a big family. I’d love to see my sons as older brothers too. Oliver in particular is brilliant with babies and toddlers, so patient and caring.

I’m also 37 in November and whilst women are having babies later and later, I know time isn’t hugely on my side so it’s something on my mind. My sons are currently 7 an 4 1/2 with my youngest, my ‘baby’ starting school in September.

Who knows what will happen?

I realise I’d be lucky to have another baby if we decide to try, and I don’t take it as given it would happen anyway, but I’m writing this as I always like to share what’s on my mind. Blogging is therapy after all, plus I’d love to hear from my readers- you guys to see your thoughts.

I’d also like to hear back from mamas with three who are going to lie to me, I mean, tell me it’s not that hard juggling a busy career and three children, reassuring me everything will work out. Thanks!

 

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18 Responses

  1. Lisa (mummascribbles)

    Oh Vicki, I’ve just read this about 2 hours after I was looking through the next size up clothes for Oscar from all those that have been stored away and I literally stood there and was like, I want another baby! He’s just turned 1, is heading into the toddler phase, still isn’t sleeping through the night but by god I’m broody for another. And yet, it is so unlikely to happen! For so many reasons but mainly space and finance! And so, I reckon if you really want it then go for it. Because if I was in the right position I would be going for it too!

    Reply
  2. RawMum

    I think that you’ll cope whatever happens. Isn’t that what they say to us who are trying for the first time and being scared? Good luck.

    Reply
  3. Michelle Griffith-Robinson

    Hi Vicki, I have actually done a post on this, but decided against posting it right now, due to personal reasons. However, I can honestly say that having my baby at 42 who is 3, was the best decision that I have made. I say ‘me’ as ultimately my husband wanted me to be fulfilled. Yes it’s hard work esp with the girls being 7 and 10 years apart respectively and juggling 3 different children’s emotions as well as needs. Work is a juggle with 2, so one more is no different. The other issues like car, holidays you just change your mindset accordingly to fit in with this extra person. I wouldn’t change it for the world. I feel complete and blessed. Go for it Hun. Ps I will help you lose the baby weight 👍🏾

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Haha will you move in if I have another baby and train me! It’s definitely something we’re considering, not right now but down the line. Thanks for the encouragement x

      Reply
  4. Susan Mann

    As a mum of three there are so many things I didn’t take into account. 1 you only have two hands, 2 you need a bigger car if you want to take your kids any anyone else anywhere. 3 a lot of tables only fit 4. 5 hotel family rooms only really take 4. However, having 3 is great and I wouldn’t change it xx

    Reply
  5. Sophie Le Brozec

    Since we had Clémence 4 and a half years ago we’ve been asking ourselves if we’re done yet. We keep saying “ok definitely no more” and then a few months later we’re all “well it’s not 100%…”. And like you it’s not a gender thing – as you know we have two girls and having a third is nothing to do with wanting a son, I’d be just as happy with a third daughter. We’re still not decided one way or another but we have even less time on our side so we don’t have much time left to make a final decision….!! I am one of five kids and my mum always said that there is never a good time to have kids, and I see what a great job they managed to do with 5 of us. I know you’ll be a great mum to a third little one if that’s what happens for you xx
    Sophie Le Brozec recently posted…When It’s All A Bit Too MuchMy Profile

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Aw thanks Sophie, you would be a great mum to a third too! Your Mum is right too, there is never a ‘right time’. Definitely something we’re considering in the future xx

      Reply
  6. Colette

    As a Mum of three I will say that yes it is hard but for me it was more the physicality of not having enough hands, of trying to hold one whilst fastening the other in a car seat . . . my children are much closer in age than yours and I think the issues I faced might not exist for you most of the time with your boys being at school. The difficulties might be more focused around your older children wanting to go off and do things that the younger one doesn’t – I think this is why it’s not unusual for people to end up with four. As you say, at 37 time is ticking – if you’re going to do it then crack on 😉

    Whatever you decide to do it will be what’s right for your family.
    Colette recently posted…Dealing with the loss of our petMy Profile

    Reply
    • Honest Mum

      Ha, thanks Colette, def something we are considering and can imagine it’s hard with kids of different ages, hoping Oliver will be able to help me lots as he’s so caring and loves kids and babies. Xander is a complete Mummy’s boy and feels like my baby already so not sure how he’d take it if we do have another x

      Reply
  7. Fatima

    Hi Vicki, three is great! You’re outnumbered, but it’s crazy fun… and exhausting… and fun! XXX

    Reply
  8. Sam | North East Family Fun Blog

    I barely remember the years when I was mum to three children aged under 5 but like you, I had a good support network around me and managed just fine.

    Now they are older it is a lot easier. There are practical and financial things to consider such as most hotel rooms are only designed for families of 4 but you find a way!

    The sibling fighting is horrendous but there is also so much love and when they do play nicely together, it’s lovely.

    I can’t imagine my life being any other way 😀

    Reply
  9. Caroline

    You know my thoughts on three…. bloody mental but loads of fun. You will cope with the hard times and never ending noise…. you just do because you’re a woman! My Mum told me the 3rd ruins your body… it really doesn’t!! You will be back to incredible in no time xxx

    Reply
  10. Monica Gilbert

    I only have one and am having the debate about number 2. I’m turning 39 this summer, so I really feel like the clock is ticking. It’s really hard to decide when there are so many factors. I’m always amazed that my mom dealt with 3 of us because 1 is challenging enough.

    Reply

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